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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to not want to pay £5k for a school trip?

455 replies

Lincspeeps · 08/10/2019 14:54

In short, DD's school are running a trip to South Africa in 2021 - safari, time in Madagascar, trekking, social responsibility work etc.

Problem is, its £4.5k plus spends and optional extras - the safari being one. So, with insurance, visas, inoculations etc it'll be five grand and more.

DD's three best friends are all going and we, at a massive stretch, could probably afford it BUT in reading where they stay etc it just seems like such a rip off. I want her to do something exciting but £5k just seems a ridiculous amount.

She's not spoiled and completely understands the value of money but she'll be devastated if she can't go and I'll feel like a demon by preventing her (she's 15 now, will be almost 17 when trip takes place). I just feel that £5k could be spent in a much better way where travel is concerned - I'm sure you can buy a round the world plane tickets for a couple of grand, for example!!

Help...…..

OP posts:
Witchinaditch · 08/10/2019 16:49

Sounds like an amazing experience- maybe a good time for her work towards a large trip? I think a trip of a lifetime has much more value then buying a car or whatever. I think let her earn money towards it (either from you or external job) and let her go

perplexedagain · 08/10/2019 16:50

No way and I would be expressing concerns to the Head - e.g. not inclusive, linked to a company offering experiences for profit, safety given country status etc. I think if young people want to find out about social responsibility they could do worse than spend time helping out in the most deprived communities in the UK and helping with necessary (but not particularly trendy or exciting) community projects but hey then they wouldn't get to 'feel good' about helping people in other countries nor have the opportunity to go on safari. Sorry if this sounds cynical but I think the entire concept is wrong.

Willow2017 · 08/10/2019 16:50

AhNowTed you are wrong i am afraid. State schools do these trips.
Our local high school does this crap.

When mine were still in primary I got lots of emails from people I hadn't seen in years inviting me to fundraisers to send their kids off on these trips.

No chance thanks pay for it yourself if you want your child to go. Got especially annoyed by one who could easily afford it as their income was 10 times mine! All these bleeding heart emails about what a difference their child doing this would make!

None of mine are doing/did them. Completely extortionate amount of money to go live in a tent and spend your days building substandard buildings. Let's face it how soon would the novelty of doing it properly wear off in searing heat and dirt for your average teen?
Why don't these 'charities'not raise money to fund and pay actual local people to build things. Much better result all round. Kids could fundraise for that at home.

sue51 · 08/10/2019 16:50

I thought state education was supposed socially inclusive. How can that be when a trip this academy is promoting costs 5000. I would be having strong words with the head, writing to my local mp and the papers if this were my child. Its utter madness.

Perunatop · 08/10/2019 16:51

I think 16 is probably a bit young for such a trip. I thought most students did this during sixth form, between Y12 and Y13.

flowery · 08/10/2019 16:51

Look at the link i posted early in the thread OP. Really sad article on voluntourism.

I don’t understand how they could be expected to ‘fundraise’? Who will be donating for your DD to go on holiday?

thewayoftheplatypus · 08/10/2019 16:52

Just to give a different perspective, I did World challenge 20 years ago and i am so glad I did. Opened my eyes to a world of possibilities- gave me a passion for travel and even inspired (in part) the job that I do now.

My parents didn’t pay for my trip, but they did contribute. The rest came from working a part time job, selling almost everything I owned on car boot sales (great for clearing all the crap out your house pre-uni) and from organised events: with the other World challengers we had bake sales and car washes at school for example.

I think it could be a great opportunity for her to see the world and to learn the value of money at the same time!

BubblesBuddy · 08/10/2019 16:52

It’s safe in a group. They are not alone! It’s just a silly amount of money for a state school trip. You can do things here that will get you noticed by employers! Volunteer here! You don’t need to trek abroad to do it. Leadership qualities can be honed here. Compassion can be honed here. None of these worthy attributes have to cost £5000! Most employers know World Challenge is for rich kids only (Kate and William) so tend to discount it as being meaningful. They just think your parents paid and you did a bit of do goodnight that lasted a couple of weeks. It’s not a commitment to anything and it means very little.

NearlyGranny · 08/10/2019 16:53

Ask to see the school's risk assessment for the trip, OP, or for the. most recent one. And offer to match fund whatever DD raises, £for£. She'd need to raise around £100 pcm, wouldn't she? If she can show she is able to go without, put birthday and Christmas money in the savings pot untouched and raise the rest, it will be a big part of the growing experience before she even leaves.

flowery · 08/10/2019 16:53

”I thought state education was supposed socially inclusive. How can that be when a trip this academy is promoting costs 5000. I would be having strong words with the head.”

Yes, this. Regardless of whether the OP could technically afford it, a state school (or any school, arguably) should not be contemplating trips that are so completely the opposite of inclusive.

andyoldlabour · 08/10/2019 16:53

South Africa is regularly in the top ten countries for murder, and it is increasing, up by 3000 last year to 20,300.

www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-africa-48093708

BubblesBuddy · 08/10/2019 16:54

Goodnight? Do gooding...

BigSandyBalls2015 · 08/10/2019 16:55

My DD's state secondary does this - two weeks for less than £2K.

BubblesBuddy · 08/10/2019 16:56

It’s nearly all internal murders. Not tourists. Tourists are safe. If you haven’t been, you would not understand this.

diddl · 08/10/2019 16:56

"She's not spoiled and completely understands the value of money"

If that's true, then why is it even being considered?

My kids wouldn't even have asked.

Well, unless they had a plan for self funding & us giving spending money only.

BeanBag7 · 08/10/2019 16:56

I would say no. Its unfortunate and she will be upset, but it's a huge amount of money that you can't afford!

Do you have other kids? If you pay £5K for a trip for DD, you would have to give any other kids the same amount when they are her age. Otherwise it's really not fair.

BigSandyBalls2015 · 08/10/2019 16:57

All those saying they wouldn't allow it due to safety reasons …. the OPs daughter will be nearly 17 when this trip takes place …. a year later she could be working and travelling round the world doing what she wants … how will you all cope with that!!

badgermushrooms · 08/10/2019 16:58

That's a decent car or a good chunk of a deposit for a home.

It's the entire deposit for my home! Admittedly I don't live in the SE.

OP this is madness - even if 5k is a comfortable amount of money for you to pull together it's not setting your daughter up for any kind of sensible view of the world to just hand it over for a school trip.

T1gerEye · 08/10/2019 16:59

It would be a yes from me with certain conditions. One would be that she has to show commitment to part funding it herself so id be interested to hear how she intended to do so and I'd also only agree if this was a long standing passion and not because her bezzies were all going and that was the main draw.

So although I'd be saying 'yes' the reality would be somewhat different I suspect

TinklyLittleLaugh · 08/10/2019 16:59

Some daft responses on here. You do realise that at most 20% of kids in a year group will be going on these expensive trips. Most parents either can’t afford it or, like us, choose to spend their money more wisely. Keeping up/fitting in over a school trip is just not a thing.

My DD went backpacking with a friend round Italy at 17 for about a tenth of the cost of the OP’s trip. Every bit of it booked and organised and sorted herself. She went to Rome and Pompeii and Sorrento and is now studying Classics abroad. You don’t have to spend silly money to have brilliant, life enhancing travel experiences.

catwithflowers · 08/10/2019 17:01

I agree with perplexedagain. Very little to be gained from this kind of trip and far better (though not as fun or cool) ways to volunteer and contribute.

confusedmaybe · 08/10/2019 17:01

I think I would send her. And then get her to work off the cost of the trip. If you can afford it that is

INeedAFlerken · 08/10/2019 17:02

That would be a flat NO from us.

Wouldn't even consider it.

That's a big chunk of a year's university accommodation cost.

separatebeds · 08/10/2019 17:03

Well I think its a good opportunity!!. It will open her eyes to the world in a way that most family trips will not. If she wants to do it then she has plenty of time to commit to earning money towards the trip.
Yes, it's expensive but if she commits to helping to pay then it won't cost you so much and I think it will be an amazing experience.

Encourage her to raise the money and go for it!

Lemonlady22 · 08/10/2019 17:09

is this one of these 'rich kids' go to tell poor people how to build a toilet...waste of time and a con....your entire family could go on a safari in Kenya for £5,000 and stay in an AI hotel without preaching to locals who do not give a shit for your opinion!