AIBU to not want to pay £5k for a school trip?

[Lincspeeps]

In short, DD's school are running a trip to South Africa in 2021 - safari, time in Madagascar, trekking, social responsibility work etc.

Problem is, its £4.5k plus spends and optional extras - the safari being one. So, with insurance, visas, inoculations etc it'll be five grand and more.

DD's three best friends are all going and we, at a massive stretch, could probably afford it BUT in reading where they stay etc it just seems like such a rip off. I want her to do something exciting but £5k just seems a ridiculous amount.

She's not spoiled and completely understands the value of money but she'll be devastated if she can't go and I'll feel like a demon by preventing her (she's 15 now, will be almost 17 when trip takes place). I just feel that £5k could be spent in a much better way where travel is concerned - I'm sure you can buy a round the world plane tickets for a couple of grand, for example!!

Help...…..

HRTFT but if you are still undecided I would say no. Too expensive, SA has been on the news recently about increases in sexual violence and while I understand it's only in certain places, the police don't seem to bothered about it, which would be worry with a DD. I also agree with the voluntourism bit - plenty of things you can do here to get that experience without having to pay 5k for it. Also, you don't know the state the world is going to be in next week, let alone 2 years. The company you book with could easily go bust, or things could change in SA. It was only a few years ago they had massive water shortages there and one of my friends from SA was worried for his mother who was left behind.

I would say no, but offer to help with driving lessons and new car instead. As someone who passed their test far too late in life and is petrified/phobic of driving, I would say this is far more important.

You can have a great adventure holiday in UK or Europe for far less money and you might all be able to do it for 5k. She just wants to go because her mates are going, she will get over it.

School 'trip' - bloody hell! That's a joke. I would have all sort of objections to that white saviour BS in principal but I'm guessing it's all private education for you guys so perhaps you have a different idea of privilege to me... and if so I'd make her earn every penny. And if she's willing to blow 5k on this then so be it, but maybe when she's worked every weekend up till then for the money somewhere she'll have a better sense of its value and decide against this.

Before I was born my family lived in SA, I appreciate it’s a long time ago but some still have links with people there. It’s an incredibly dangerous country at present and as beautiful as it is there is no way I would send a child on a trip there. Someone my sister is still in touch with has had an incredibly distressing time lately with a gang related incident.

@Boshmama you were parachuting in, developIng a relationship with the children, and leaving.
You could have contributed to the local economy without doing that to the kids.
Or you could have raised money for the teachers' salaries and THEY could have boosted the local economy.

It is a hard one I would not let her go for varies reasons though I wouldn't want her missing out, it is a long way off and will probably be the topic of conversation for the next 2 years.
I'd compromise by promising to give her 2k the week they are away.
It will be bitter sweet but giving her something to look forward to.
The school are ridiculous even suggesting this expensive trip.

I agree with you about the school, Emerald. It is a ridiculously expensive trip. Even very well off people would think twice about spending that amount of money on such a thing.

It seems like the general consensus is, if she pays for it or most of it, herself, she can go.

Regarding the violence in SA, I'm sure the girls will be well looked after. Violence can happen anywhere but from what I have heard, in South Africa it is rife in certain areas. I live in London and my vicinity is really nice but there are plenty of districts where I would certainly not feel safe.

Friends of mine went to South Africa for a holiday last year and had a wonderful time, it was an almost magical experience, the holiday of a lifetime.

I am a bit about these sorts of trips. My first thought has always been that it is fairly privileged children who do these sorts of trips so often when people say it is good for uni applications also etc I don't necessarily think that's the case. My DCs school runs one each year and actually not that many children go.

My friends son is going next year and when I said how I felt she said well they are encouraged to fundraise and it is great for them personally, teaches them a lot etc. I said I understood that but in reality that they won't fundraise the full amount, that has definitely proved true as my friend has put in over half and most of the fundraising she has facilitated (ie made cakes so paid herself for them, made xmas decs for him to sell).

I am not saying it is all bad and I am not sure I would say 100% no to my kids if they were desperate to go but I just don't think it is quite what people try to make out it is.

Also selfishly £5k does buy a pretty nice holiday for a family for a fortnight.

I genuinely do believe that the schools do think they are doing this for all the right reasons, they are very passionate about it but I just feel they don't 'get it'.

but I'm guessing it's all private education for you guys so perhaps you have a different of privilege to me

Oh bugger off with your preachy ignorance.
Rtft many state schools do this too as many posters have said including ours.
No matter what school it is it doesn't guarantee parents would fork out for this nonsense.

I think a lot of state schools do these trips because they look good in prospectuses and at year 6 open evenings.

We had a choice of a couple of schools and one of them made a big deal of all the opportunities children would have to do exciting trips to far flung locations. Lots of parents were all ooh and ahh at the photos. It didn't seem to occur to them that they would have to fork out for little Jimmy's trip to Kilimanjaro

The big secondary school trip in my day was a day-trip (from London) to Stratford upon Avon to see a Shakespeare play. At primary school it was a trip to Chessington Zoo.

The world of education has gone mad,. I assume the school will also have lessons on Save The Planet and reducing the carbon footprint? So then they decide to send pupils round the world. None of it makes any sense to me. In the past I remember my brother volunteering at school to visit the elderly in a home in south London. Why not open students' eyes to problems that need solving nearer to home?

If your DD is interested in the volunteering generally to help build villages etc there are plenty of voluntary organisations that would organise a few months work for her. Have a couple of friends whose girls did this and really enjoyed themselves. Was organised through a church. Wasn't all work (building a school) did have opportunities to see the country. Think £5K could be better spent.

If your DD is interested in the volunteering generally to help build villages etc there are plenty of voluntary organisations that would organise a few months work for her. Have a couple of friends whose girls did this and really enjoyed themselves. Was organised through a church. Wasn't all work (building a school) did have opportunities to see the country. Think £5K could be better spent. My brother did this through a church based organisation. He raised over £20k, he's a very practical person and a hard worker, he was not happy with what he saw - basically people fannying around pretending to work only a few hours a day and he was not allowed to work on Sunday, a bit of scamming went on with equipment too. Basically he gave up his holiday allowance and asked his friends and family for money to make a difference and they gave generously because they believed in him and he came home angry and embarrassed about how little he was allowed to work and the massive waste of money he witnessed.

@Marylou2 If there are 2 years to go I'd offer to go halves so DD would have to work and save. Plus it would include Christmas/birthday presents and asking grandparents/relatives for money towards the trip if they ask for gift ideas.

I agree with all of this. The trip is expensive, but it will be a lifetime of memories for DD and her friends. Def get DD to contribute (if she really wants to go she will). Saving up for it will help DD learn about 'oportunity cost'.

If your DD is interested in the volunteering generally to help build villages etc there are plenty of voluntary organisations that would organise a few months work for her.
Please do not do this. You are putting local people out of a job. Volunteering is only worth it when you have a skill to offer (HCP, engineering etc.)

You say the trip is 2 years away, could your dd get an after school job? Then Perhaps you could say you’ll give her 1,000 if she comes up with the rest?

But what if she doesn’t?

And it’s quite tricky for under 16s to get jobs in the current economy as far as I’m aware.

I agree with PP who said it may even count against your DD if she puts it on her CV, as these kind of trips have quite a negative reputation nowadays (and I say this as someone who previously did a trip like this when I was younger, and never mention it on my CV)

Another one agreeing about the possible effect of this on a CV. Not only can it indicate a lack of insight, but the funding arrangements can sometimes suggest a young person who's been handed a lot on a plate - not always what employers are looking for, IME

The actual words on a CV probably won't kill the opportunity, but the responses when asked about it very often can

Yep, let's use the poor third world children to teach middle class teenagers a valuable life lesson about their privilege
Absolute bullshit

I volunteered in Brazil for 3 weeks in my early twenties and it cost around £2,000 I think. I hadn’t done any gap year travelling so it was a great experience.

An unforgettable memory though was an 18 year old girl in my volunteer team who got her period when we were there and hadn’t brought any sanpro with her. I’m sure any of us on the trip would have shared ours but no - she took some from a Brazilian girl living in the slums, where our trip was volunteering. Bless the girl for giving it to her. The rest of us were !

A great experience. Is that what people in developing countries are there for? To give you an experience?

The trip is expensive, but it will be a lifetime of memories for DD and her friends.

And that's what counts, eh? We'll just skim past the fact that those memories will be made at the expense of people who weren't lucky enough to be born into a privileged western family.

Can you imagine the outcry if a bus-load of middle class kids were taken to an area of social deprivation in the UK and told to observe 'the locals' and 'make memories'? Christ on a bike it amazes me how insulated and tone deaf people can be.

Is that what people in developing countries are there for? To give you an experience?

Apparently so, for some

It's also the sort of thing I meant about questions which can be asked when this appears on a CV ... as said, the answers can be pretty revealing

When I was 16 my school organized a World Challenge trip and I really wanted to go. As I found out more about it though, I realized it was a rip off. I decided to save the money and go traveling myself when I was a couple of years older. Rather than spend £5000 to go on a glorified package holiday with a bunch of other 17 years olds, I spent £2000 a few years later to spend 4 months backpacking around South America. It was amazing, and I got so much more out of it, doing it when I was 21 and able to plan the trip myself. Perhaps say to your daughter she can start saving now to go on a gap year trip instead -- one that she can plan herself to any country she's really excited by.