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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to not want to pay £5k for a school trip?

455 replies

Lincspeeps · 08/10/2019 14:54

In short, DD's school are running a trip to South Africa in 2021 - safari, time in Madagascar, trekking, social responsibility work etc.

Problem is, its £4.5k plus spends and optional extras - the safari being one. So, with insurance, visas, inoculations etc it'll be five grand and more.

DD's three best friends are all going and we, at a massive stretch, could probably afford it BUT in reading where they stay etc it just seems like such a rip off. I want her to do something exciting but £5k just seems a ridiculous amount.

She's not spoiled and completely understands the value of money but she'll be devastated if she can't go and I'll feel like a demon by preventing her (she's 15 now, will be almost 17 when trip takes place). I just feel that £5k could be spent in a much better way where travel is concerned - I'm sure you can buy a round the world plane tickets for a couple of grand, for example!!

Help...…..

OP posts:
Whatwouldbigfatfannydo · 09/10/2019 11:38

This western saviour trend is absolute bollocks Hmm

mencken · 09/10/2019 11:43

haven't read whole thread as it screamed 'World Challenge' from the word go. These are very expensive package tours. Privileged kids (and from the perspective of many places, ALL UK kids are privileged) are zero use, hence the problem with voluntourism.

It is sold as 'fundraising' to make it seem something other than an expensive package tour. The kids fundraising for this get nothing from me.

just no.

Skinnychip · 09/10/2019 12:02

Regardless that i think its an extortionate amount for a school trip, i totally agree that part of that is paying for a teacher to go. While the kids are having a jolly and building/volunteering the teacher is essentially responsible for them 24/7 for a month! Thats not much of a "holiday" for them!

00100001 · 09/10/2019 12:21

@mencken ... maybe you should read the whole thread...

Snog · 09/10/2019 12:42

I think there are many better ways to spend £5k but this is really about your family not mine!

TheGoddessFrigg · 09/10/2019 13:00

Hey, I'm poor and need a new toilet. Give me 5k and your daughter can come round here and build it. I live in an area with shootings, stabbings and drug dealers - so that should provide the local colour.
And I have two cats and an overgrown garden for the safari experience....😏

CecilyP · 09/10/2019 13:21

Putting all the voluntourism issues to one side, one of the main points of the challenge is that they raise the money for it themselves, not that you pay for it to save her the bother! Plenty of teenagers can manage to organise fundraising events/wash cars/work part time alongside GCSEs. It will look good on her personal statement too (the fundraising organisation, not the trip itself)

That's what they say, and it sounds like raising money for a good cause until you question the teenagers' ability to teach English and do building work, but whether it actually happens is another story. And it is often the parents that organise the fundraising as anyone who has been to a car boot sale with testify. Often the kids raise a bit of money themselves but then family have to pay the bulk of the balance. My neighbour certainly had to bail out her granddaughter to do one of these trips.

sheshootssheimplores · 09/10/2019 13:22

Nope. Wouldn’t happen in my house.

AnnPerkins · 09/10/2019 13:27

It would be a flat no if DS asked to do this trip. Even if he 'raised' the money himself - I would never let him ask for 'donations' from friends or family members either.

Besides, I would much prefer him to earn and save money for things that would actually benefit a 17 year old, like driving lessons, a car, university costs, a house deposit.

I get that part of the appeal is going away without parents, so would probably encourage him to save for a different trip with friends, without the voluntourism or long-haul flights.

I think it's wrong to criticise funding teachers' places on school trips though. Schools wouldn't be taking kids anywhere if teachers weren't prepared to give up their time to organise them.

@crushingonpacey, if you're willing to share, I would love to hear more about your experience of leading such a trip.

EntropyRising · 09/10/2019 13:30

Jeez! No way!

This year my sixth-former is going to the US (1300-ish), Israel (same) and Florence (400).

3luckystars · 09/10/2019 13:33

No way. Absolutely NO WAY.

calmalamadown · 09/10/2019 14:51

£5k for a child free month? Priceless 😂

MTBMummy · 09/10/2019 15:20

No way!

I'm doing South Africa for 2 weeks I'm staying in nice accommodation and have nice activities planned and it's coming in at just over a grand - how on earth can it cost £5k?

furrybadger · 09/10/2019 17:44

My brother and sister did this in high school, majority of the trip ended up extremely poorly with cryptosporidium which they kindly brought home and gave to me, the kids said it was the worst trip they’ve ever done due to this and it’s so easy to pick up over there 🤮

gwyn26264 · 09/10/2019 17:47

YABU

This is about a priceless memory, of being with friends at a transition period of their lives. “A car” or “A family holiday” do not equate. I completely agree with Marylou2 that this would suck in Xmas, Birthday presents from you and extended family. Yes good to get her to contribute by working, but not at the expense of grades suffering. If, as you say she is not spoiled and understands the value of money she will realise the stretch this is and that you chose to give her this gift. Something to talk about and remember for a long time. Perhaps decades.

Mammajay · 09/10/2019 17:49

I think it is shameful to put families under this pressure. I would complain to the governors.

fishonabicycle · 09/10/2019 17:55

I would never have paid this. And to be honest, my son would never have asked. He knows that is too much. Save the money for a family holiday, or a small car, driving lessons and insurance when your daughter is a bit older

SugarNyx · 09/10/2019 18:00

Tbh I would work out a plan where she covers the the cost of some of it. She has 2 years to do her part so if she is serious about doing it, she’ll have to work for it. 5k is a lot of money and it would be a shame for her to miss out on such an amazing experience but I don’t believe in handing over a huge wad of cash with no effort on their part, it’s just not the way the world works.

VickyEadieofThigh · 09/10/2019 18:01

My eyes are watering at the thought of a school asking parents for £5K for a teenager's school trip.

savingshoes · 09/10/2019 18:01

Say no to the trip, then organise to take her to S.A at the same time for half the price. Bumping into everyone with "surprise, we paid a fiver and look at us now?! We're about to be charged at by the same rhinos!" Grin

numberoneson · 09/10/2019 18:04

I can't imagine having that kind of money to spare, even if it takes two years to amass it and she pays half herself. I think I'll just faint, now, at the very idea of a £5k school trip.

sunshinesupermum · 09/10/2019 18:06

Sounds ridiculously over-priced - I've just come back from 2 weeks in Cape Town and apart from the airfare everything is dirt cheap there (especially if the kids are camping most of the time!)

If you do decide to DD go she should earn as much money herself to pay for it IMO.

grumiosmum · 09/10/2019 18:09

DS went on a 3-week school sports tour to Oz. It cost less than this one (£3k) and he had to pay half the cost himself. He had plenty of time to earn the money, which he did partly from working and partly from selling stuff on ebay, and got a few xmas/birthday contributions from family as well.

It was a very valuable experience for him - not just the sport & sightseeing, but the experience of staying with a wide range of different types of families and having to fit in with some quite strange people!

nuxe1984 · 09/10/2019 18:13

Having both taken teens on these sort of trips and had my own children go on them I can assure you it's likely to be a life-changing experience and she will return with a different perspective and different priorities.

It may seem like a lot but flights, insurance, accommodation, food, etc all add up.

If she's dead set on going - how about her assuming some of the responsibility for raising part of the money. She could do jobs for neighbours and friends (eg: car washing, babysitting, etc) - you'll find many will be very supportive. Get her (and friends) to have cake sales at school. Can you help her sell unwanted stuff on Ebay or Facebook? How about her asking for money gifts at Christmas and birthdays towards the trip?

lynfordthecrab · 09/10/2019 18:14

I have 2 friends that have just sent their children on trips like this, one to Madagascar one to India. They both raised all the money for the trip themselves. This was what the schools expected them to do as part of the learning curve. The held bingo evenings, did boot sales, washed cars etc etc. They learnt a lot from the experiences both in raising the money and the trip itself. Its my understanding that they are supposed to get off their privileged arses and raise the money themselves.

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