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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not let them sign the card

80 replies

lastqueenofscotland · 08/10/2019 12:06

A well liked colleague goes away today for two weeks for their wedding.
I emailed round on payday to ask if anyone was happy to put some money in for a card and a bottle of champagne. About£2/3 each
Only two others said yes, so we split the cost of the champagne between us.
No one else got back to me. The lowest earners on the team will be on more than £30k so no one is on a very low wage.
Today several people have come up to me to ask to sign the card.

AIBU to say no unless they give money toward the bottle

OP posts:
fairislecable · 08/10/2019 12:07

YANBU

Bluebell9 · 08/10/2019 12:08

YANBU

Bluntness100 · 08/10/2019 12:08

Yanbu,

Sparklingbrook · 08/10/2019 12:08

YANBU

DamonSalvatoresDinner · 08/10/2019 12:09

YADNBU.

Whatever you do, don't let them sign. Whether you tell them straight or make up some excuse, I don't let them take credit for a gift they had nothing to do with.

GinDaddy · 08/10/2019 12:09

YANBU

SpiderCharlotte · 08/10/2019 12:09

YANBU. It's not from them.

Brefugee · 08/10/2019 12:11

YANBU

Grumpyunleashed · 08/10/2019 12:12

Reply = Sorry no, card has been signed and sealed. i assumed you were not interested as I did not receive a reply from you. If you are going to arrange a card from the whole office I would be delighted to contribute and sign as part of the group.

QueenofPain · 08/10/2019 12:12

Well if they want to give you the money towards the champagne today then let them sign the card and the three of you who have forked out can share that contribution between you.

happinessischocolate · 08/10/2019 12:14

"Yeah sure you can sign it, do you have your contribution to the champagne???"

"No? Oh okay" and smile 😁

ThisMustBeMyDream · 08/10/2019 12:16

I would also think no. No pay no sign!

But how will the person feel that only 3 of you signed the card? I would be torn. I'd probably let them sign but with a reminder that they hadn't actually contributed

HariboLecter · 08/10/2019 12:18

YANBU

NoSauce · 08/10/2019 12:19

Cheeky sods.

TeenPlusTwenties · 08/10/2019 12:22

It's a weird way of doing things compared to how we did them when I was working.
The manager would ask someone to organise a card and a collection. The person walked the card round or made it clear where it was available. If people wanted to sign and contribute they did. Then a present was bought from the money collected.
There were things that we collected for (leaving, weddings, new baby) and things we didn't (birthdays, new house, silver weddings).

Foslady · 08/10/2019 12:24

Definitely YANBU!

WoollyMollyMonkey · 08/10/2019 12:25

I wouldn’t let them sign either. This really gets my goat, same at our place when we do a birthday collection at work and the cheeky sods who are too tight to put in £2 want to sign the card. Tell them to bugger off!

Teddybear45 · 08/10/2019 12:25

Yanbu. These people are cheeky fuckers because they know the present has been bought already

Bourbonbiccy · 08/10/2019 12:26

It's a tough one, as the person who is getting the card, is doing so with only 3 people signing it, which is pretty sad.

Could you let them sign the card, but put a tag on the champagne with just the 3 names on it.

Remind the others that they haven't actually contributed to the champagne collection.

WickedLemon · 08/10/2019 12:27

Will your colleague feel a bit shit that only 3 people signed her card though?

I’d maybe let everyone sign the card (with a reminder that they haven’t actually contributed) but only sign your 3 names on the bottle gift bag.

NearlyGranny · 08/10/2019 12:29

YANBU! If they ask, "Oh, this is the card to go with the bubbles we bought them - I didn't think you'd pitched in with us for that?" puzzled look... "It's not too late if you want to contribute..." hold pot out. "Or of course you could get your own card..."

Livpool · 08/10/2019 12:33

YANBU

I hate this!

I do the birthday collections for my team and the same people always 'forget' to put in the collection but want to sign the card. I always say no

MirandaGoshawk · 08/10/2019 12:37

I also would let them sign but say the bottle was from three of us. The kindest thing is to think of how the bride will feel.

GeneHuntLover · 08/10/2019 12:37

I like NearlyGranny suggested of they get their own card so the receiver knows who contributed towards the champagne, might make her think twice about giving for gifts for those who didn't contribute

ButtonMoonLoon · 08/10/2019 12:37

They contribute financially, they sign the card
If they don’t then they don’t sign. Otherwise it would give the impression that the gift is also from them