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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not let them sign the card

80 replies

lastqueenofscotland · 08/10/2019 12:06

A well liked colleague goes away today for two weeks for their wedding.
I emailed round on payday to ask if anyone was happy to put some money in for a card and a bottle of champagne. About£2/3 each
Only two others said yes, so we split the cost of the champagne between us.
No one else got back to me. The lowest earners on the team will be on more than £30k so no one is on a very low wage.
Today several people have come up to me to ask to sign the card.

AIBU to say no unless they give money toward the bottle

OP posts:
GeneHuntLover · 08/10/2019 12:38

*suggestion

CharityDingle · 08/10/2019 12:38

If they sign the card, just put a small card with the champagne with the three names on it.
Had a colleague leaving our team last year, we took her out to lunch and bought flowers. Two people who were very close to her bought a bottle of bubbly and it was clear it was just from them. Everyone was happy.

sonjadog · 08/10/2019 12:39

No pay, no sign.

Longlongsummer · 08/10/2019 12:44

Yanbu

Drum2018 · 08/10/2019 12:45

If they don't contribute then they don't sign and I can't believe the bloody cheek of any of them to ask to sign it. I'd just say that the card is from those of us who contributed to the collection. If they offer the £2/3 at that point then let them sign and divide up any extra contributions between the 3 of you who originally paid.

Weezol · 08/10/2019 12:46

YADNBU.

regmover · 08/10/2019 12:47

It's turned from being a team present and card to one that is just from 3 of you. So no, tell them to go and get their own cards.

AryaStarkWolf · 08/10/2019 12:53

I would say "of course you can, do you have that £3 contribution?"

Ijustwanttoretire · 08/10/2019 12:56

Could you let them sign the card, but put a tag on the champagne with just the 3 names on it.

^^ This - this is what happens in our office...

Therarestone · 08/10/2019 12:57

Omg YANBU at all, that's SO cheeky

Rachelover60 · 08/10/2019 12:57

You're not at all unreasonable. They are a mean lot!

Orangecake123 · 08/10/2019 12:59

Don't cave in OP unless they give you some money.

Nomorepies · 08/10/2019 13:00

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ on the poster's request.

lottiegarbanzo · 08/10/2019 13:01

Collection and card have always been separate in my workplaces - so everyone signed the card, collection contributions could be wildly varying.

Did people expect there to be card that was 'just a card'? Is that the norm?

You can't know what contribution to ask for now, on a person by person basis, so they are too late to contribute to the gift.

BlackCatSleeping · 08/10/2019 13:04

I’d let them sign the card, but when I handed over the champagne, I’d say this is from me and x and x.

SorryDidISayThatOutLoud · 08/10/2019 13:04

Yeah but they haven't contributed towards the cost of the card either have they? CFs.

inwood · 08/10/2019 13:05

We have always got the collection first and then you know where you are.

Hoghgyni · 08/10/2019 13:06

Gift tag attached to the champagne which clearly shows who it is from. Anyone can sign the card.

ScreamingValenta · 08/10/2019 13:06

Going against the grain - wouldn't your colleague rather receive a card full of signatures, than one with only three signatures?

It's reasonable to like someone enough to send a card, but not to feel close enough to them to want to buy a gift.

If I've been organising this sort of thing, I encourage as many people to sign the card as possible, whether they've put in for the gift or not.

Beautiful3 · 08/10/2019 13:06

Yanbu. I used to work at a place where you put your money in and then signed the card.

Pinkyyy · 08/10/2019 13:09

YANBU

I hate when people do this.

Witchinaditch · 08/10/2019 13:09

YANBU but I’m too chicken and would
Let them sign 😂

Majorcollywobble · 08/10/2019 13:09

Yanbu

custardbear · 08/10/2019 13:11

Be bold, just say it's a card that goes with the present so only if you're contributing, otherwise buy your own card and gift if you want to wish them well

ThinkAboutItTomorrow · 08/10/2019 13:12

YABU. This should be about the colleague that's leaving. Wouldn't you want her to feel people cared and have a card to remember people?

Making it so obvious to the leaver that no one could be arsed seems mean to me. I'd do all I could to hide it from her so she leaves with a warm feeling rather than sad.