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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not let them sign the card

80 replies

lastqueenofscotland · 08/10/2019 12:06

A well liked colleague goes away today for two weeks for their wedding.
I emailed round on payday to ask if anyone was happy to put some money in for a card and a bottle of champagne. About£2/3 each
Only two others said yes, so we split the cost of the champagne between us.
No one else got back to me. The lowest earners on the team will be on more than £30k so no one is on a very low wage.
Today several people have come up to me to ask to sign the card.

AIBU to say no unless they give money toward the bottle

OP posts:
DarlingNikita · 08/10/2019 13:14

I’m going against the grain: YABU and you've organised it weirdly.

IME a card and money are treated separately in that everyone gets invited to sign and can contribute money if they want to. The card is kept in an envelope in someone’s drawer and people come to sign it and can put money in if they want.

JacquesHammer · 08/10/2019 13:16

I would treat card and present separately if it’s really important to you that the leaver knows you’ve contributed.

I would let all those who have asked to sign the card - it is for the benefit of the person who is leaving.

Pukkatea · 08/10/2019 13:17

Collection and card have always been separate in my workplaces - so everyone signed the card, collection contributions could be wildly varying.

I've always had this too. At the end of the day it's a shame to hand over a card with 3 signatures, your colleague will feel bad. Yes it's enabling CFs but it isn't the end of the world.

AnchorDownDeepBreath · 08/10/2019 13:17

*"Yeah sure you can sign it, do you have your contribution to the champagne???"

"No? Oh okay" and smile 😁*

This.

Loveoddthings · 08/10/2019 13:18

Let them sign the card

But get a nice bottle bag with a tag and on that tag just those that contributed

Justcallmebebes · 08/10/2019 13:20

YANBU. I hate this. happens all the time at my work place

Justcallmebebes · 08/10/2019 13:21

In fact, I may passively aggressively print this thread out and pin it on kitchen noticeboard!

Bowerbird5 · 08/10/2019 13:25

YANBU that's tight of them

We had five colleagues leave and I put a tenner in the 3 envelopes of those I have worked longest with and fiver in the rest. I only earn £12,000

Pinkyyy · 08/10/2019 13:27

YABU. This should be about the colleague that's leaving. Wouldn't you want her to feel people cared and have a card to remember people?

But they don't care. They wouldn't contribute £2 for her.

CTRL · 08/10/2019 13:28

@happinessischocolate

That is hilarious ! I can imagine doing that 😂

CornishMaid1 · 08/10/2019 13:30

I would tell them that this card is the one to go with the present for those who contributed and you don't know who is organising the general card.

Idontwanttotalk · 08/10/2019 13:30

@Bourbonbiccy

"Could you let them sign the card, but put a tag on the champagne with just the 3 names on it."
This is a great idea.

DarlingNikita · 08/10/2019 13:32

Yes it's enabling CFs but it isn't the end of the world

Well, if you do it by collecting money and then seeing what you can afford, rather than pre-deciding the present, you don’t enable them.

InfiniteSheldon · 08/10/2019 13:39

You can tell who on this thread likes to sign cards and avoid contributions sadly I would let the CF sign so as colleague got a great card I would hand round a pot with the card though saying last chance to contribute

PrincessDaff · 08/10/2019 13:44

This happened to me last year. I organised a collection for a colleague who was leaving to have a baby but only 5 people gave money out of the 25+ people who I emailed. I felt awful giving her a card with just the 5 people signing it so I just asked everyone to sign it and bought her vouchers with the money collected and wrote the names of those who contributed to them on a smaller card with the vouchers in.

northernruth · 08/10/2019 13:51

Who do they think paid for the card? The Leaving Card fairy?

YANBU. They are CFs

JacquesHammer · 08/10/2019 13:54

You can tell who on this thread likes to sign cards and avoid contributions

Or just don’t think it matters because the important person is the recipient not the politics behind the gift?

thisnamechanger · 08/10/2019 13:56

Let everyone sign card, then give bottle privately later and say me, x and y got you a little extra something?

KUGA · 08/10/2019 13:56

YANBU. The tight fisted freeloaders are.

milliefiori · 08/10/2019 13:58

I'd just say 'Yes, sure. The contribution towards card and champagne is £2-3.' Then see if they slope off or shell out.

lottiegarbanzo · 08/10/2019 14:03

Cards were always bought by the employer where I've worked, not out of gift contributions. So a separate thing.

The contribution isn't £2-3 btw. It would have been if everyone had contributed. As it is, three people have contributed £10+ each. One or two lates £2 are not going to even that out.

Aprillygirl · 08/10/2019 14:08

Cheeky fuckers. YANBA.

WhentheRabbitsWentWild · 08/10/2019 14:18

YANBU

Fraggling · 08/10/2019 14:19

Intetesting replies as have had office jobs whole life and none of them have worked like 99% of the posters here prefer!

All my jobs it's been card circulated with envelope and people sign and /or contribute as they wish. You get a full card of merry wishes and a gift depending on who put in.

In many places management bung in a bit extra if the collection is a bit feeble.

This is really interesting and also kind of weird tbh.

lottiegarbanzo · 08/10/2019 14:21

My experience precisely Fraggling