To wonder if this was a lot of responsibility for a child?

[AintNobodyHereButUsChickens]

I went to a very small primary school in small, very quiet village, we had 50 pupils, 3 classrooms (but only 2 were used as not enough kids) and no hall. Because we had no hall, assemblies, wet playtimes/lunchtimes, indoor PE, school parties etc were all done in the church over the road. When I got to yr5 (so 9/10) I and another girl who was a year younger than me(!!) were appointed church monitors. This meant that every morning we would go to the headteachers office, take the church vestry key, leave school grounds, go over the road, unlock the vestry door then go through the church and unlock the main door ready for assembly. On the odd occasion one of us was off school poorly, we'd simply do it alone instead of taking someone else with us. We had no supervision at all during this, we didn't even see the HT when we collected the key as it hung on a hook outside her office door! We'd be in class for the register then be like "Ok Miss we've got to go and unlock the church now" and that's it.

It was great at the time and we felt so grown up having this responsibility but I think I'd be horrified if my daughter was given a job like this to do. I'm only 28 now so it wasn't really that long ago!

To be honest, that is a still a lot less responsibility than most children around the globe have around that age.

But for today’s UK ‘s standards, YANBU.

No I think back then (I'm 32) it was normal, I walked to school by myself from 7/8 and back. Yr 5 at my ds school are allowed to walk home by themselves with parental permission. From age 9 I was collecting my 5yo brother from the infants and walking home.

I also grew up in a small quiet village and don't see a problem with it (I'm 31 so similar age as you)

My cousins kids still have lots of freedom/responsibility compared to DC living in cities and I think its great, DS will be chucked out with the rest of them as soon as he's old enough :)

I’m guessing you lived in a small rural place. I think it sounds fine. You weren’t far away, and if anything had gone awry presumably you would have been missed very soon afterwards.

I saw a thing on TV recently about how in Japan (I think it was) children travel alone to school on public transport, including doing changes, from the age of 5. And I know in northern Europe (Norway, Germany etc.) primary aged children walk to school without adults, sometimes quite a long way.

Don’t get me wrong: as a parent I have all kinds of catastrophising scenarios running through my head. But more logically, I think we protect kids too much and don’t give them a chance to develop their self-reliance or streetwise-ness. Then we’re surprised when they grow into helpless adults who are overwhelmed by the tiniest things.

My sisters and I got into a rather bizarre situation where it was tradition we go into our primary school early to help the caretaker and the cleaners etc.

To this day, I have no idea why we did it, why my parents were ok with it and what was in it for us. We were the only family to do it, it wasn’t like a “take it in turns to help” project or anything. No payment, no special perks and I can’t even remember anyone thanking us. This was in the 1970s though, so....

I think it's fine. Kids in our primary have to take the rubbish out to the bins outside by the gate. The gate is open and anyone can come in at that time. In those days roads were quieter and all they were doing was unlocking two doors.

I think that's fine. We used to be sent to the shop for teachers quite often at that age, or nip home in school time to collect a forgotten or interesting thing. It was a similar situation but a bit longer ago.

It sounds ok to me based on the fact that it was a quiet village so presumably not a very busy major road . Schools years ago wouldn’t have had the same awareness of health & safety etc . You had to cross a presumably quiet road to unlock two doors at the church . However you shouldn’t have had to do it alone if the other child was absent .

You were capable of doing it, so why shouldn't you? I did have a 70's upbringing though.

I somewhat mirrored my childhood for my children and they were better for it.

I wonder if the cosseted upbringing a lot of today's children are having is any good for them.

@PuppyMonkey, perhaps they thought they were instilling a work ethic.

In primary school we used to clean up the yard and do light gardening in the grounds. The Brownies, then used to do more stuff like that.

It was fine in the circumstances you describe, doubtful it would happen now. When I was at primary school the boys used to help the caretaker stoke the boiler (not the girls!).

Learning to be responsible happens by being given responsibilities. Children are too cossettted today which is why they are becoming snowflakes with mental 'ishooes'.

Opening up the church and sorting it out for use by others sounds awesome. I'd have given my eye teeth to do something like that as a child. Now poor kids can't even play competitive games in the playground before some interfering adult play monitor busts up a decent game.

I wouldn’t mind my similar children doing this now... I think it’s great for giving children independence and a sense of achievement! I think children are a lot more capable than we give them credit for but often aren’t given the chance to shine.

#Similar-aged

Ok, but it may as well have been school grounds if it was just across the road. Many schools are set out like that. I wouldn’t bat a eyelid and an 8 year old being asked to unlock the assembly hall in the morning.

Why? It's only over the road in a quiet village and presumably they picked you because you were responsible.

Seems fine to me.

i too raised my dc like my 1970's childhood and they have done okay. people have different ideas what suits one person.

DS is in a similar school set up and I don't think I would have a problem with him doing that when he is in yr5

Sounds absolutely fine

I had my eyes opened recently when volunteering in a "third world" country where children of 4 or 5 were lugging big plastic bottles of water from our rainwater tank to traditional homes without running water and minding toddlers. They were being given their own knives at around 3 years old and taught to use them safely to help harvest fruit and veg in the family 'gardens' which were more like allotments. The adults carried huge machetes about with them going to and from their gardens, a sight which would make me reach for my phone and dial 999 here!

I do think children generally can take on much more than we give them credit for and of course some young carers do just that. Nobody was being left to struggle, though, and nobody would go hungry or neglected, as village life is very communal and cruelty or violence cannot easily be hidden behind walls of woven vegetation.

Sounds fine. I have a 10 year old and an 8 year old and would be perfectly happy for them to be given this level of responsibility and trust at school.

It wouldn't happen now but village schools often give children more responsibility. When we arrived here the Yr6's used to answer the telephone.They only paid for a secretary for two mornings a week so the children took calls wrote them down or relayed it to the teacher. They also open the door, took in the post, took in parcels, brought the milk in and sorted it out and gave it out.If they were short of staff they helped serve the dinners.
I was really impressed by the maturity. Mind you a lot were farming families who had probably been up since 6 and did chores before and after school.
I have seen a boy as young as three helping to move sheep his crook was bigger than him. He was proud as punch to be helping. He is now working on another farm and more or less running it as the farmer died. He is about 17 now. His mum runs their farm with a little bit of help from her 79 year old dad.

I'd be really depressed if my children couldn't have managed something that straightforward at a similar age and I think the constant drive to remove all responsibility and independence from children and young people is really unhelpful and unhealthy so it's a YABU from me.

My children went to a small primary, and every Friday two children were sent down to the school gate to watch for the bus that would take children to swimming. One morning a car with two men drew up and told the children that the bus had broken down, all children were being taken to swimming in cars by volunteers, they'd spoken to the head and the two children were to go in the first car with them. Luckily the children ran back to the school, the head (whom I hated, she was a malicious favourite-haver) went running to gate all flustered and alarmed but naturally the car was long gone.

Just because a school is small and rural doesn't mean it's safe to allow children out of sight.