To wonder if this was a lot of responsibility for a child?

[AintNobodyHereButUsChickens]

I went to a very small primary school in small, very quiet village, we had 50 pupils, 3 classrooms (but only 2 were used as not enough kids) and no hall. Because we had no hall, assemblies, wet playtimes/lunchtimes, indoor PE, school parties etc were all done in the church over the road. When I got to yr5 (so 9/10) I and another girl who was a year younger than me(!!) were appointed church monitors. This meant that every morning we would go to the headteachers office, take the church vestry key, leave school grounds, go over the road, unlock the vestry door then go through the church and unlock the main door ready for assembly. On the odd occasion one of us was off school poorly, we'd simply do it alone instead of taking someone else with us. We had no supervision at all during this, we didn't even see the HT when we collected the key as it hung on a hook outside her office door! We'd be in class for the register then be like "Ok Miss we've got to go and unlock the church now" and that's it.

It was great at the time and we felt so grown up having this responsibility but I think I'd be horrified if my daughter was given a job like this to do. I'm only 28 now so it wasn't really that long ago!

I went to a similar school and I don't think it's bad at all. One of the things I like about the primary school DS2 and DD3 go to now is that they do give the children responsibility for things.

The only thing from my schooling that I think back on and wonder who thought it was a wise idea was the window pole. There was only two in the building so to open the high windows one or to small children would be sent to fetch an 8 foot pole with a sharp catch on the end of it. At least twice a year something, or someone, would get damaged by it.

I used to put my young for the year DD on the Northern Line in yr 6. She'd get off at London Bridge and make her own way to a rehearsal nearby twice a week. Pretty much all the girls made their own way by public transport. So crossing a quiet road and unlocking a church door is pretty unshocking I'm afraid.

Honestly I suspect my overly independent threenager could attempt this. I wouldn't let her because she wouldn't understand any potential dangers, but an older child absolutely.

It's only walking across a street and unlocking a door

My 3yo also walks to school and back without holding my hand (including roads) unless she wants to. She walked off a way this morning and didn't stop when I called so I held her hand until she agreed to stop when I asked. Did similar with my 6yo and I would trust her to cross quiet roads alone now (though she won't actually be doing it for a year or two). Some people just don't seem to understand that they're raising future adults and they need the skills to be streetwise! They won't get them without being allowed appropriate independence when young.

They should have sent someone else with you when one of you was off so you weren't alone, but don't see a problem with the rest of it. Did you never play in the street as a child?

We used to get sent out in groups to monitor traffic on the road next to our school, how many cars/vans/taxis per hour etc.

And we took trundle wheels and measured from the school to the shop, the playing fields, and so on.

I am honestly shocked lately at the number of parents who fear their children being outside.

That sounds like my village school in the 70's. As the church is literally over the road I think its fine. Our remote village was 5 roads, so you were not going to meet anyone on the walk from church & to school. I'd probably not be OK & see it as risky in a city area tho.

@BarbariansMum

It wasnt luck though Juells was it - the children had been taught how to act around strangers and responded appropriately. Or do you really think no 8/910/11 year old should ever be out of an adults sight, ever?

No, I don't think that. But if I'm handing my child over to other adults (like teachers) for the day I expect them to be looked after, and not sent off doing little jobs. I've never bought into the whole 'teaching children independence by letting them off on public transport by themselves from age 6' mantra, or by allowing them to go to places like an empty church (for instance) by themselves. Both of mine were plenty independent once they got to the age of 12 or so, and are very self-sufficient independent adults.

Even in a tiny rural Irish town I was approached by a man when I was about eight. Another experience was walking to school with my sister and a horrible old guy used to stand in a doorway on the other side of the street waving and calling to us, while wanking. We didn't know what he was doing at the time, and never spoke to each other about it until we were adults, but we knew he was up to no good. It doesn't matter how small or quiet an area is, there will be some wanker wanting to expose himself to children, or worse.

I feel about all the pooh-poohers the same way I feel about anti-vaxxers on facebook - I would never tell other people that they're being overprotective of their children, any more than I would give them health advice and tell them that vaccines are the work of the devil.

But you're happy to pooh pooh al ost everyone on the thread insinuating they're underprotective?

OP- sounds great to me.

Sounds like the problem is your DD's behaviour. There's nothing wrong with what you were asked to do.

We had school pets and at that age and it was our responsibility to go to feed them in pairs. That included feeding the school pig (and being trusted not to leave the pen open), handling rabbits and guinea pigs and feeding the cat without any supervision whatsoever. I loved it and instilled in me a real love of animals.

If your DD is behaving poorly around roads then that's something you need to address sharpish. In a couple of years she'll be taking herself off to school on her own!

PuppyMonkey did both your parents work?

OP, no doubt some of the children in your class were like your DD. They weren't given the responsibility you were.

No Dione, mum was a SAHM. Dad worked as a labourer.

I don’t even know how the arrangement started, I was the youngest of four sisters and the tradition had already been established.

Just to repeat, it was only ever my family that did this. No other classmates took their turn.

We had school pets and at that age and it was our responsibility to go to feed them in pairs. That included feeding the school pig (and being trusted not to leave the pen open), handling rabbits and guinea pigs and feeding the cat without any supervision whatsoever. I loved it and instilled in me a real love of animals.

I'd view that as the right way of teaching children to be responsible.

I honestly think people forget there were a series of very gruesome and grisly child abductions, murders and sexual abuse throughout the 70s, 80s and 90s.

I'm in my mid twenties and I had somewhat of a similar experience to you but it was more life skills and personal development based. From the ages of 9 to 12 I believe, we had to all brush our teeth and put on deodorant after coming back in from our lunch break and from 13 to 19, we had to do daily chores after our morning snack and then get supplies or whatever else we needed for our next lesson. We did independent travel in post 14 where one teaching assistant taught us how to read bus and train timetables before a small group of us headed into town whilst being shadowed by said teaching assistant around the shops throughout a number of weeks and by the end of the course we had to travel back to school on our own. I know there were other things we did but I'm unable to remember them.

I honestly think people forget there were a series of very gruesome and grisly child abductions, murders and sexual abuse throughout the 70s, 80s and 90s.

And those things still happen today...

And not only do they still happen today, they happen 9 times out of 10 at the hands of the same person who doesn't want their kid crossing the road on their own.Like back then.

Indeed they do.

However, think of some of the circumstances in which some of those children vanished. They wouldn’t happen today.

What, Canterbury?

Pardon?

In the last ten years, I can only think (off the top of my head) of one high profile murder victim in this country under the age of ten.

Just under 90% of murders and sexual abuse of children is at the hands of a member of their own family

Well yes, but that’s not really what I’m talking about here. That has sadly always been true but I imagine on a specific rather than national level it doesn’t strike me as being a good enough reason to put your child at risk.

In the last ten years, I can only think (off the top of my head) of one high profile murder victim in this country under the age of ten.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_major_crimes_in_the_United_Kingdom#2000s-present

There's 3 on that list alone. Then there's Louise Porton who murdered both her daughters earlier this year. Poppi Worthington's death was also not so long ago and is not mentioned here.

That's not to mention the numerous other murders that don't make the headlines each year.

Let's not kid ourselves that our children are in less danger today.