Birthday Cake Drama

[onesteponepunchoneroundatatime]

At work we have a birthday cake rosta. The person whose birthday it is has their cake by the person whose birthday is next.

The person whose birthday was offsite, but the person who made the cake was on site at morning tea. Another member of staff (who is not on the rosta) said that as the person who baked the cake said it was OK then she could have a (huge) slice of the cake.

I was appalled and made my feelings about what I perceive to be good birthday etiquette very vocal that the cake belongs to the person whose birthday it is not the person who baked it. Then I (light-heartedly) shit-stirred and dobbed them in to the birthday girl.

So my AIBU is- is it OK to eat someone's else's birthday cake if they are not there?

For anyone who is worried about the person who ate the cake she didn't care one bit. And when no one else had a piece of the cake she said she felt guilty- and I said 'Good-you should' and then we all laughed our heads off.

Cake baker was wrong to start early (not her choice).
Not on rota was very, very wrong eating cake.

Thing is, no matter how light-hearted this was cast you will all be judging each other. You better move on quickly, so birthday cake doesn't become an altogether different issue.

It seems very strange to eat someone's cake (no matter where it comes from) before they are there. (I thought you meant off-site for the day, in which case the caker and the cakee should make a date when it was to come into the office).

Presents are presents, the owner is the receiver. The cake is a present and the cake cutter is an outrageous gobshite. (and as PP have said should never ever have cake anyway)

I like that tradition though, we bring cake (and wine/champagne) on our birthdays. I'd much rather someone baked one for me.

Cake eater was very, very wrong.

It reminds me of one birthday, years ago. Something had happened for which I was blamed even though it was not my fault (I was a substitute for the person who was at fault) and this resulted in most of the office staff bullying me. It was horrible. That year I decided is take my birthday off as I did not want to spend the day with such horrible people.

There was one woman who religiously baked birthday cakes for us all (who happened to be the worst of the bullies). Despite knowing I'd be away she still made 'me' one, then ensured it was finished on the day so that I got none. If course I heard all about it the next day!

Such mature behavior, I'm sure you'll agree!

@BlockedandDeleted

"What an odd arrangement, it would make more sense that the cake was baked by the person who had the birthday before."
Why would it?

I wouldn't have eaten a slice of cake unless offered it by the person whose birthday it is.

It sounds like an unusual set-up to me. Wherever I have worked the onus has always been on the person whose birthday it is to take in cakes for the rest of the office(s).

Pay it forward?

the onus has always been on the person whose birthday it is to take in cakes for the rest of the office

This is the norm, yes.

TBH, it baffles me that grown adults needs to have a 'special day' in their place of work but that's not germane to the thread.

Surely the cake maker is gifting a cake to the person whose Birthday it is! Therefore the cake eater stole their gift!

Reminds me of the time where we did a bundle of baby paraphernalia for someone going on maternity leave and a CF opened the baby wipes in the basked and used them on herself before the receiver had seen the gift.

CF opened the baby wipes in the basked and used them on herself before the receiver had seen the gift.

What? You just don't do that surely?

I'm petty, but I would go out of my way to repay that favour .

Then I (light-heartedly) shit-stirred and dobbed them in to the birthday girl.

There is a bit of a contradiction in this statement.

Someone who doesn't contribute to the whole cake making business, surely doesn't get a slice of cake (let alone the first slice before birthday person has even seen the cake).

You need a draconian list of cake rules to pin up on the wall.

I'm trying to work out what your job is - everyone standing around laughing their heads off over cake makes it sound like Acorn Antiques.

yes, there is some quite magnificent pass agg tinkly laughter going on here.

Surely everyone who has a birthday just runs to Greggs in the morning on the way to buy some cheap donuts for their team only and plonks them down in the middle to share? Or Poundland if you have one near work for cheap chocolate.I've never known it otherwise.

Meh I honestly couldn't get worked up about a bit of cake

Whenever there's a birthday or other big occasion, the seniors/managers in our small team run out to Tesco or M&S and then call a team meeting.

I mean... Its just came. If you all laughed it seems fine.

I’d probably not give a shit about a slice of cake when there’s still a whole huge cake. Cheeky yes, but that’s the end of it. I certainly wouldn’t, as a Pp suggested, carry on the ‘shit stirring’ before it becomes a bigger issue entirely.

*cake not came! Eeek!

Of course she shouldn't have eaten the cake . . .but I can't quite get over this 'arrangement'. What if the person after you is a rubbish baker? Or has poor hygiene? Every year you'd get a rubbish, germ-y cake and yet, by accident of birth, someone else could be getting the equivalent of a Mary Berry confection. That's so unfair!

That all sounds very confusing.
What happens if two people share the same Birthday?
I'd say just take a cake in when it's your own Birthday.
Far less complicated.

So the one who baked the cake said it was OK?

She's got no manners either!

Pity the person who had a Birthday before me; I am not known for my bakes!
I could do a Birthday fish pie though.

Oh god this is exactly the kind of thing that made me go self-employed :o

What if your baker is a shit baker? What if you have flu when it’s your turn to bake? What if you’re shy and just can’t face it all and would rather do your work? (this was me, oh the shame)

Why does cake have to be such a big deal in the workplace? It’s insane!

Someone's birthday gift in essence.

….Vanilla Essence hopefully....

What a ridiculous set up! We just buy/make our own birthday cakes but no, no-one should cut into someone else's cake

She is rude shouldn’t have taken the slice of cake and shouldn’t have any cake ever because she is not on the roster!

Where I have worked,everyone brings a selection of shop bought cakes Sounds a lot easier really!