Birthday Cake Drama

[onesteponepunchoneroundatatime]

At work we have a birthday cake rosta. The person whose birthday it is has their cake by the person whose birthday is next.

The person whose birthday was offsite, but the person who made the cake was on site at morning tea. Another member of staff (who is not on the rosta) said that as the person who baked the cake said it was OK then she could have a (huge) slice of the cake.

I was appalled and made my feelings about what I perceive to be good birthday etiquette very vocal that the cake belongs to the person whose birthday it is not the person who baked it. Then I (light-heartedly) shit-stirred and dobbed them in to the birthday girl.

So my AIBU is- is it OK to eat someone's else's birthday cake if they are not there?

For anyone who is worried about the person who ate the cake she didn't care one bit. And when no one else had a piece of the cake she said she felt guilty- and I said 'Good-you should' and then we all laughed our heads off.

Some of the PP's here have clearly never worked in this kind of office. I have, and although I personally loathe the drama and always tried to avoid it myself, I understand why this cake thing has become such a big deal.

Do you put candles in it and sing happy birthday? Or does the person whose cake it is gather everybody at lunch time and say thanks and then cut it up for everyone?

Basically I'm just trying to find out if there is some sort of ceremony attached to the cutting up of the cake. If not then I still think the cake eater was a bit rude as they should have asked permission, but it's not a massive deal. If there were plans for the cake to be shared as a group later on then the cake eater has committed a very serious cake crime and should be hung drawn and quartered.

Not on the rota, but eating anyway... CF.

Whenever she has something, eat it .

I feel like if I was the birthday girl I'd be a bit annoyed but just be thankful someone made me a cake, as long as there was a slice for me I'd be happy.. Then again I work with some right greedy people and every time it's someone's birthday the manager covers the staff room table with treats like cakes, sweets, chocolate etc.. majority of the time the birthday girl doesn't get a luck in because everyone helps themselves as soon as they see it!

Not a big palaver, but I think I am of the opinion if it's not your food you can't eat it, and if it is to be shared you wait for permission.

In this case the cake-cutter said that the person who made it gets to decide whereas I (loudly) disagreed and said it was the birthday girls decision, and she wasn't there at that time.

Anyway Bday girl confronted (in a jokey manner) and the CC avoided the issue and said that I had been very vocally unhappy- she kept calling me the manager and made a big joke of it. This was at lunch time.. so a break from working

It is one of those things that even though sounds very trivial just shows people for who they are .

what cake did she bake.sorry this is all i want to know right now hehe

I don't like cake.

I spent years at work before deciding I'd had enough of both baking and having to eat pretending to eat before binning cake I'd been given and even made.

I make a very nice cake apparently. So says DH/DC/Parents/PIL (and DH and DC would not lie about any culinary output for fear of repetition).

I had a revelation 5 years go and thus provide an office cheese board for my birthday (lovely local cheeses soft/hard/blue plus vegan fake cheese ) biscuites, chutney etc

Everyone in the department is very happy.....so much thar cake is now a rare thing on birthday's

#cheesenotcake

So the birthday cake eater doesn't even participate in the regime at all?! She never contributes cake?

YANBU. We've just had a birthday in our office and the birthday man boy was supposed to be in meetings all day. Thankfully he popped in between meetings because we rang him and demanded he did so that we could all have some cake. We wouldn't have dreamt of opening it before he arrived.

it is simple, on cake eaters bday make sure that cake is ALL eaten bar her one slice, and stick a candle in it to really drive it home... no one will dare eat cake before the bday person has taken a slice after that

Not on the rota, but eating anyway... CF.

Id have been vocal about this too. She opted out the rota so she can't eat the cake at any time.

I'd carry on with the shit stirring 😁

Am I the only one that feels like, despite her insistence that the whole thing wasn’t a big deal, everyone involved is really annoyed and it’s actually turned into a big deal? Are you all just REALLY good at being passive aggressive or are you genuinely oblivious as to how annoyed everyone seems to be?

But no OP, YANBU- it was the birthday girls cake and she decided when it was cut and got first slice. To the ones asking about people who don’t like someone else in the office etc, it sounds like it’s an ‘opt-in’ sort of thing, although this seems pointless if you get to eat the cake even if you opt out of partaking.

For those wanting to know it was a massive carrot and walnut cake with divine cream cheese icing.

Like I said its not the actual taking the cake, that takes the cake it's the fact she couldn't wait 2 hours til lunch and it was never going to be her cake until someone offered it. So therefore showing her true colours about how she views herself.

She wanted someone else to cut it though, as it didn't feel right!

FWIW, I agree with you OP, she is a very cheeky thief. She helped herself to a cake that didn’t belong to her before the owner of the cake and birthday girl even saw it, let alone ate some.

How can you 'light-heartedly' shit stir?! Shit stirrers in offices deserve no cake at all.
Fwiw yes she was wrong to cut the cake. That would piss me off no end. But her guilt for that would have been enough. You didn't need to stir then sit back arms folded and watch the awkward encounter. That was a dickish move imo

Yes that was poor birthday etiquette; glad no one was actually bothered by it as not worth getting stressed about.

If she's not on the rota she shouldn't ever eat the cakes on any birthday - end of.

That would annoy me too, why isn't she on the rota? I'd be vocal too, she has shown her true colours.

Yes she was rude and greedy.

Person was rude and greedy. Got to wait for birthday person first. Even if it means waiting until the next day!!!

You lost me at carrot and walnut.

I'd be gutted if that was my cake flavour. CC has appeared to be a CF up to this point. But if I was birthday girl I'd think she'd done me a favour having a large slice of that

Yanbu. Agreeing with pp it's greedy and ride. Someone's birthday gift in essence.

Just as well it was the birthday woman's like and choice then isn't it Coco?

We can buy and we go for the preference of the persons whose birthday it is i.e vegan, gf etc... it's quite nice to have someone do something

Wtf is a rosta?

If you arent on the rota, you don't get to have any cake. Whether the birthday girl is there or not, it's unfair for someone to eat all the cakes without contributing one themselves.

Do you ever get rubbish cakes, I don't think anyone would pinch mine, they're like flying saucers or house bricks.