To think that SOME high earners don't work that hard?

[Usernamemcname]

I'm a domestic cleaner. The people I clean for are usually quite well off, five bedrooms in a posh suburb of an expensive city. They are often in whilst I clean, sometimes they come back whilst I'm here.
I see a lot and I know they are in quite high paid jobs. Yet they always seem to be 'working from home' also known as fannying about the kitchen a lot and playing X Box. A lot of them either start late (10am so they miss the traffic) and finish early. One dad picks his daughter up from school every day even though his wife is at home!
I was always told that you have to work hard to get what you want in life, so why do I have to work two jobs whilst my partner works 45+ hours and we just scrape by? What have these people done to be so lucky? They're not old, seem around my age, what jobs do they do and why can't I do them, I have a degree.
Life just seems unfair sometimes. Unless it's a doctor, I'm sure I could have a crack at it.

I find it utterly depressing to see so many examples of posters starting from humble beginnings and making huge successes of themselves, just to have their success disregarded and attributed purely to “luck” and, worse “privilege”

I don't think my six figure salary was anything to do with luck - I worked bloody hard, have rolled with the punches and made sacrifices to get to it. I do think lots of us have that 'grit' thing going on and that this often compensates for not having been born into money.

However, I also think I probably wouldn't have had the confidence to put myself out there and change careers in the way I did if I had been homeless, for example. So I think privilege did play a part.

@ShirleyPhallus
IMO this attitude is fairly prevalent across modern Britain, if I had a few hours to spare I could give you thousands of examples.... But if you don’t see it, you don’t see it. No judgement from my side.

I see @cam77, but on a 10 page thread there are no examples and you’re not willing to give any. Understood.

@shirley
I find your sarcasm rather impolite and uncalled for as I answered your point quite respectfully. I think the point I’m making is quite clear, you are welcome to disagree, but please don’t use my reluctance to to trawl through 10 pages of threads naming, names as evidence of a flaw in my argument as A) I can’t be bothered to go trawling, it’s really not that important to me to “win” this argument and B) as I already mentioned, I believe the attitude is prevalent through out much of society at large and hardly restricted to MN.

I'm not trying to blame others for my situation. Just trying to get some insight into what you guys have done to achieve what you have. Just so you know I've listened;
1.) you studied subjects that might seem dry to others and are purely academic. You couldn't turn up and just ace all the exams. You need to have studied hard.
2.) you often completed postgraduate studies, studied for many years after your degrees, often at night or alongside full time, full on jobs.
3.) you worked hard earlier on, late nights, weekends.
4.) you also moved away, were prepared to sacrifice socialising, long term relationships.
5.) you still work hard, often at antisocial times, have to be on call, don't see family much.
6.) you take big risks and earn lots of money for your companies. Someone without that experience wouldn't be able to do this as accurately or would mess up more.
7.) you don't feel that luck or privilege has played any part in your success or the success of your peers.

Did I get that right?

Sorry, 19 pages of thread.

Ummmm.... that isn’t sarcasm.

I come from an extremely poor immigrant background, parents don’t even speak English. I’m now 30 and make 150k per year. It’s a mixture of luck and very hard work and sacrifice when everyone else my age was having fun. At school, I used to study until 10 pm every day, and studied all weekend. I didn’t do any fun extra curricular activities, only those that would get me awards or opportunities. During holidays, I would take extra tutoring and read all the books in advance so I can be ahead of everyone else. At uni, I studied my arse
off, didn’t have half as much fun as most people and applied left right and centre, got rejected by 30 law firms. I got into one. I now work 12 hours/day. I cannot socialize Mon-Fri and often work weekends. I have no hobbies. In a few years, I’ll take a step back, have kids and enjoy life a little bit more. It’s probably what your employers have done

@embarassednewname my employers? I work in the NHS.

7. is not true. I am very lucky to be healthy, I couldn’t do this if I wasn’t in perfect health. There is always some luck involved and most people will admit that. Coming from a stable family, no matter how poor, is also a massive help.

You said you’re a domestic cleaner, by employers i mean the people you’re cleaning for then. Whoever it is your talking about.

Life isn’t fair. It’s gruelling and no one will help you.

Cam77 does it ever occur to you that you see it despite no one saying it because you've got a chip on your shoulder?

After all most of the British population do not take that view, they are not born into wealth and privilege. I'll acknowledge that there are some who have that attitude but they are in the minority.

Perhaps some people choose to concentrate on the attitude of a small minority because that's easier than acknowledging that actually they themselves do make choices that impact their lives, that lots of people do work hard and make decisions that mean they earn a decent living and live relatively comfortable lives?

Some MNers would have us all believe that the UK is some third world country where most people are lucky to just survive. You certainly have your problems but it's really not the hell hole for the vast majority that so many threads on this site would suggest. Though I guess people would need to acknowledge their privilege in order to accept that .

I think the point is flexibility the more senior you get. DH is extremely well paid. On the day you catch him at home, he would definitely look like he is fannying around - goes in late, or works from home and goes to the gym and then does pick up. But then, he’ll work 10 days straight abroad doing god only knows how many hours a day. It’s just not a routine job in terms of hours - he does weird and crazy hours, early starts and late finishes, weekend calls, and then take it easy on other days

Worked hard, worked hard. I read this all the time on here. Nearly everyone I know works fucking hard! Try working nights in a factory, cleaning toilets, working with children in care. These people work hard. Some jobs are well paid for doing next to fuck all. My best friend was working for the NHS for £50k a year. No long hours. He got a pay rise of £10k one year because they had to use their budget! Made redundant. Now earns £3000 a week contracting and doing the same job!....can you believe that! He pinches himself everyday. Paid for by the tax payer because the NHS and other government departments are incompetent. Not to mention his frozen £22 a year pension which on the open market would cost about £800k to buy! Not everyone
Works hard for what they end up with! He got lucky and freely admits it.

£22k

@SaveMeBarry a lot of the British public do feel that luck and privilege have played a part in SOME people's prosperity. Look at MP's. Do you think the general population think that they worked really, really hard to get to where they are? Regardless of political party, I think that politicians are regarded by many as Machiavellian chancers who haven't had a 'real job.' Jacob Rees Mogg springs to mind.

Your point 7 about people thinking luck and privilege dont play any part appears a bit goady and is just not what most people have said.

Very few people have said they are not in some way at least a bit lucky or privileged. Living in the UK for a start affords some privilege. Free education. Student loans. A welfare state. Basic sanitation.

The point is- no one was handed their job on a plate like you believe your privileged associates to have been, and what you seem to be feeling hard done by about.

It's generally a lot of hard work and significant further training. I'm a doctor and we train until we retire.

Very very few people are gifted a great job from one of daddy's contacts, and it's just not helpful to focus on those few people who are. The vast majority spent a long time getting to where they are now and have done a lot of leg work, some more, sone less. Some of it is luck. But most of it, for most people, is hard work, not giving up at the first few disappointments, and sensible career decisions.

Do some online research about the type of career you want to have, and make a plan. Otherwise you'll spend your life resentful that others have what you don't, rather than being proactive and trying to get there.

@LaBelleSauvage I don't do goady. I'm honest. I power phrased what the majority of people have written.

Jacob RM is (IMO) a complete prat- and of course no one will deny, very privileged.

But he's not most people. He's by no means the norm.

Why focus on these tiny minority of people who have been handed life on a plate? It's just not helpful. It'll just make you bitter. Focus on your own situation and how to improve that.

P.S. you're reading a different thread to me then if you think everyone has completely dismissed luck or privilege.

Luck clearly plays a part and I would challenge anyone who says no luck has been involved.

I went to a bog standard comp and one of my parents died whilst I was in school. However, I also lived in a home where studying was valued, where there was a belief you could work your way up, we had books, newspapers, family discussions, listened to the Today programme (which all help with interviews).

My real luck was that I am academically inclined in a society that values academic achievement.

There is one feature you have missed that I see in a lot of my peers and that is resilience. I learnt it the hard way when my parent died. It’s that bloody minded willingness to keep going that often aids success.

Like Xenia I made loads of applications for grad schemes in the City, many weren’t even acknowledged, but I got an offer and that was my way in. I then tick most of the things on your list, more qualifications, stupid hours, I had moved to London and I am expected to make multi million pound judgement calls rapidly.

@Usernamemcname I'd certainly agree re MPs and I suspect there are few who wouldn't but how the hell is that relevant to what's been posted on your thread ? They are a teeny, tiny proportion of British people and surely the general consensus is that these are the idiots of their wealthy families, too thick to follow their parents or siblings into the family business?

I've already acknowledged that privilege/luck exists, I'd have to be pretty oblivious to think otherwise given my own background and upbringing!

I really don't understand what you're looking for here. If it's a pity party then ok but it won't change anything for you. If it's some insight into other people's experiences or views then you've had that, do with it as you will. It seems to me that you prefer to believe that you're terribly hard done by and take offense at the comments of people who have come from very similar backgrounds to your own rather than consider where you might have gone wrong (no crime committed, none of us are psychic) and what you might do to change things. Like I said, maybe that's easier... Whatever, it's really no skin off my nose .

@ChazsBrilliantAttitude your point about resilience is bang on and really important.

@LaBelleSauvage also I work in the NHS and have been around medical professionals for my whole career. How could I have done that and thought that doctors were handed anything on a plate? How could I minimise the amazing, incredible service that they provide to the hospital I work in? The consultant I work for has received frequent death threats due to decisions she has made about patients mental state. Death threats. She has a security guard with her when she enters the building.
How could I think anything but that this woman is fucking awesomeness personified?
I also clean for an incredible doctor. She is not who I'm referring to when I wrote my original status. I tried to read the intro to her PHD thesis. Couldn't understand a word, mad respect.
The people I had in mind are generally sort of mid to high level management. Usually in finance. I've read a lot about the finance industry (The Big Short, Flashboys) and I think that's made me think that there is a dark side. A side that doesn't necessarily mean that you get there by hard work but more by being a chancer and a bit of a lad.

@SaveMeBarry how many more times can I write that I've been reading everything and taking on board?! Please read my last three replies where I've said thank you to everyone for the insight and have power phrased exactly what everyone has told me.
I don't need any pity thanks, just more pennies.

OP

I have worked with investment bankers and traders. The vast majority are very well qualified (up to PhD in some cases). The have a high risk, high reward role. You can be booted out at very short notice if you don’t perform.