Parent using 'kidnap' as a warning

[CAG12]

So im not currently a mum, but will be come march next year.

I was in Sainsburys over the weekend, and a girl (perhaps 7 or 8 years old) asked her mum -

• child, 'mum can I go around the corner and get the cheese?'
• mum, 'no, stay with me or you'll be kidnapped'.

WHAT?! Now im not commenting on the mums want to keep the child in her sight. Im more outraged at the use of kidnap as a deterrant.

Granted I dont know them at all, and it might be a very real issue to them.

AIBU to be a bit shocked at this?

What sort of deterrence would you have preferred?

My mum would've said that as a joke but with a very straight face.

It just seems a tad extreme

OP you clearly haven't been around parents and children much as if you had you would have heard parents say all sorts of stupid stuff to their children to get them to behave.

I'm actually more evil. I've always tried to get children to think.

But that's why you don't want your child going out of your sight. I have a six year old and an 8 year old. I wouldn't worry about their ability to safely go around the corner to get the cheese, but I would be concerned as to who they could potentially meet there and what might happen.

I don't like stuff like that.
What I hate though is when they say 'be good or that old man will shout at you' it's awful for my Dad (being the old man)

Come back in March? My kids want to run all over the shop to get stuff i say no because they will wander off if obsay that they whine I wont PLEASE then of course the other people start judging me 🙄 seriously I know my kids

My mum used to say she wasn’t worried I’d be kidnapped because they’d soon bring me back 😂
Parents say all sorts to their kids, I wouldn’t take it to heart.

I can't imagine putting the worry onto a child that they might get kidnapped if not within sight of the parent.

That poor child worrying that they could get taken away at any moment can't be healthy.

What would you have said instead, OP?

Kidnap is a real threat. Kidnap can mean taken from a supermarket, something awful happenning then returned to the supermarket. 20 mins missing is still kidnap. And those 20 mins will have wrecked lives.

You are not a mother yet but you may get it when you are a mother. Bad people are everywhere including supermarkets. It's better to teach your children to be safe and cautious than to have them suffer the consequences.

I would have said 'yes of course, I'll be in this aisle'

What's the big deal?

This place is weird today for insanely over protective parenting.

My friend has always said stuff like this to her DC, drives me bonkers. Now that they're a bit older she wonders why they don't listen to a word she says.

YANBU OP

It's better to teach your children to be safe and cautious than to have them suffer the consequences.

This doesn't sound like what the parent was doing - it's terribly dramatic to suggest can't fetch a grocery item from a different aisle in the supermarket that you are also in. Talk about creating unnecessary anxiety!!

I'm with you OP

My mum would've said that as a joke but with a very straight face.

Same here. I see it as hyperbole with a bit of dark humour attached, but underpinning it is a serious message to stay where I can see you.

I hate this too OP. It is not a realistic worry and just runs the risk of making kids over anxious.

When I was 7 (in the 60s) I used to cross the road (pedestrian crossing) and go to the local shop (2 mins walk) for milk, bread etc. if we ran out (and some penny sweets or a comic for going!) Wasn't unusual.

Whatever the fears - perceived or real - children do have a lot less freedom these days.

My mum would've said that as a joke but with a very straight face

Same here. When children today are so restricted because the PARENTS think that every second person's a kidnapper then it may well not have been said in jest. However, I would almost always assume it was.

Wtf? Round the corner inside the supermarket? And people actually think this is a reasonable fear and a reasonable thing to say to an 8yo? Jeez.

I agree with you OP- kids need to know the risks but by 7 or 8 you have to do appropriate loosening of the apron strings. Funnily enough I sent DD8 a few aisles away to get sugar today while I was trying to find something. She's sensible and I told her the aisle to go to and to come straight back. She also knows about not talking to strangers and screaming if she feels scared. She knows that kids can get kidnapped and not all adults are good but I try to make it measurable so she knows there aren't dangerous adults on every corner

I dunno, My DM would reply "Go on then, I'm sure they would bring you back" I was abit like wtf then eventually got it

I probably wouldn't say it, but I dont see it as tha bad.

That*

Don’t really think it’s any of your business what someone else uses as a “threat” or deterrent, however you want to put it .
We are judged for fucking everything nowadays , now I have to watch out for nosey bastards in the supermarket too incase I say something they don’t agree with ..

I used to threaten them with being locked in the attic with the ghoul.