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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Neighbours lending out our space.

223 replies

northbacchus · 07/10/2019 09:58

Moved into our (mortgaged not rental) flat a few months ago. Alongside the flat, we get an enclosed numbered parking space in the downstairs garage.

Our neighbours, without asking, have starting to loan out our space to their friend, lending them their key fob!

We don't drive, so don't use the space constantly, but we regularly have visitors including my DF who needs the space as he is disabled. There is no way our neighbours could not know this is our space, as each number corresponds with the flat number.

AIBU to leave a note in the letterbox of the neighbours? Or should I leave a note on the car? Worried it will cause issue due to the fact we, perhaps obviously, don't have our own car to park there.

OP posts:
Icantthinkofanewname87 · 07/10/2019 11:24

It sounds like you’re sort of making excuses to not just confront them - having a baby and doing a degree doesn’t mean you don’t have 5 minutes to knock on the door! If it’s a big enough problem you’ll find time. If not just write a note but be prepared for it to be ignored

WeDidNotChangeTheLocks · 07/10/2019 11:24

@northbacchus yabu to leave a note. Speak to them in person

chuffoff · 07/10/2019 11:24

If you don't want a neighbour dispute then maybe just start by leaving a note on the car. That way you are addressing the issue with the car owner rather than acknowledging that your neighbours are the ones that have been allowing it. The message will still get back to them.

Ayemama · 07/10/2019 11:25

I think sticking a note on the car is a good idea if they are blatantly ignoring your knocking.

BlackCatSleeping · 07/10/2019 11:25

The OP already explained that when she knocked before, nobody answered. She said her partner will knock.

Ukholidaysaregreat · 07/10/2019 11:25

They are being outrageous! I would try to tackle this politely face to face but they are obviously Cheeky Fuckers so expect to escalate to the management company!

AryaStarkWolf · 07/10/2019 11:26

@TheSandgroper That was an exciting read, thanks!

How cheeky and rude of them, I'd be speaking to them in person too, keep knocking until they answer

OneEpisode · 07/10/2019 11:27

Any chance you can turn this into a positive? Is there a charity associated with your dad’s disability that you could ask for donations for... in return for letting people park there. Probably best to have a resident park there than a randomer though. And not Monday’s if that’s when you need the space for your visitors.
Don’t let any of us bully you into escalating this though. You have to live there!

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 07/10/2019 11:29

I also recommend a locking post

zzzzzzzz12345 · 07/10/2019 11:37

Osiris what a throughly unhelpful post. Well done you for being so efficient with a small child. Your comments remind me of my sister’s, when I had a newborn with a medical condition after a nasty birth, who said ‘well I’ve got 2 children and a full time job and I’m doing this and that extra degree whilst on maternity leave and you’ve only got one baby to look after yada yada’. So what? Just because you had it nailed, should we all do exactly as you did? Are our babies exactly the same as yourS? Are our physical and mental health situations identical? Are some of us entitled to find it hard, just because we do? I found my small babies utterly consuming and felt unable to do an awful lot else other than tend to their needs. I gave into it as a biological imperative. Does that make me better than you or you better than me? Of course it doesn’t. It makes us different.

Don’t you dare make the OP feel bad for feeling like she doesn’t have time. It’s that kind of competitive motherhood which sets women upon women. Lift her up, and if you can’t then keep your snide comments to yourself instead of seeking to assuage your own insecurities by putting her down.

mummmy2017 · 07/10/2019 11:39

Is there no warning about towing or anything.

ittooshallpass · 07/10/2019 11:43

Would all the people suggesting that OP let’s the CFs use the space when it’s not being used be happy with neighbours parking on their drive if they weren’t using it? No. Thought not.

OP your neighbours are completely taking the piss. Try one more time to speak face to face, if they refuse to answer the door, just put a note through their door asking them to stop using your parking space. No explanations required for when or for whom you need it. It’s your space, you don’t need to justify wanting it kept clear.

Also put a polite note on the car asking them not to park in the space again.

AmIThough · 07/10/2019 11:44

@ittooshallpass our neighbour actually asks us to park on her drive so it looks like there's somebody home (even though she's home 80% of the time - she doesn't have a car)

mummmy2017 · 07/10/2019 11:48

Note .
You do not have permission to park in my space, I am looking into how to have your car towed. Please accept this letter of notice of not to park in space X .
When you find your car missing, you will find details on how to pay to retrieve your car have been posted too door number .

WarshipWarrior · 07/10/2019 11:52

Just fit a bollard. We did with our old flat cost 30 quid off ebay and husband fitted it in about 2 minutes. Sorted.

Kazzyhoward · 07/10/2019 11:54

I like the suggestion upthread to let them know say that you don't mind them using it when you don't need it

Noooooooooooooooooooooo!

Give an inch and they take a mile.

Boundaries are needed. It's the OPs space. End of.

Mephisto · 07/10/2019 11:55

Rooting for you OP.

AryaStarkWolf · 07/10/2019 11:58

Just fit a bollard. We did with our old flat cost 30 quid off ebay and husband fitted it in about 2 minutes. Sorted.

Yeah probably good advice

Kazzyhoward · 07/10/2019 12:02

Just fit a bollard.

We've got a lockable one on our drive. The driveway is ours but 3 neighbours have right of access to their back gardens which are accessed via a metre wide alleyway. We always leave a metre width of driveway to allow them to move their wheelie bins etc across our drive.

Unfortunately, one of our neighbours took it upon himself to start leaving his trailer at the bottom of our drive. We got the bollard and locked it. He wasn't best pleased when he couldn't get his trailer out. But he's not done it since.

Frazzledbutcalm · 07/10/2019 12:02

Doesn’t a bollard have to be sunk into concrete/ground?

If they’re blatantly ignoring your knocks at the house then you have no alternative but to leave ones on the cars. And then somehow block them in also,

Definitely keep up with management company ... at the end of the day you’re paying for that space!

Boysey45 · 07/10/2019 12:05

I'd put a polite note through the door and on the windscreen of the car parked in your spot. If they continued to do it then I'd get bollards.
This is one of the reasons we fell out with our neighbours, their relatives were continually parking on my drive.

mnthrowaway2099 · 07/10/2019 12:05

I would also start taking as many photographs as you can to catch them in the act, such as the license plate of the car or filming them if you can clearly see someone dropping off the fob.

I would be inclined to invoice them for the money you have paid for that space and can no longer access.

Boysey45 · 07/10/2019 12:06

Frazzledbutcalm, You can drill the ground and put anchor bolts in the holes, then round them off with an angle grinder.They don't need to be concreted in.

Sleepyhead19 · 07/10/2019 12:08

Pop a note through the door if they won’t answer. It’s your space! It doesn’t matter if you have a car or not! Put your wheely bin there when you expect them to be lending it to their friend.

mnthrowaway2099 · 07/10/2019 12:10

Also don’t allow them to use it when you don’t need it, and don’t justify you needing the space because of your father - by all means mention it, but it’s your space and your entitled to use it as you wish, even if that just means it’s empty when your dad doesn’t visit and you don’t want them using it.