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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Neighbours lending out our space.

223 replies

northbacchus · 07/10/2019 09:58

Moved into our (mortgaged not rental) flat a few months ago. Alongside the flat, we get an enclosed numbered parking space in the downstairs garage.

Our neighbours, without asking, have starting to loan out our space to their friend, lending them their key fob!

We don't drive, so don't use the space constantly, but we regularly have visitors including my DF who needs the space as he is disabled. There is no way our neighbours could not know this is our space, as each number corresponds with the flat number.

AIBU to leave a note in the letterbox of the neighbours? Or should I leave a note on the car? Worried it will cause issue due to the fact we, perhaps obviously, don't have our own car to park there.

OP posts:
AmIThough · 07/10/2019 10:27

@northbacchus are you happy for them to use it when you don't need it, or not? Do you have any kind of relationship with them?

Nanny0gg · 07/10/2019 10:29

If the neighbours won't answer the door, speak to the car driver?

If it gets totally ridiculous you may have to resort to a solicitor's letter as it's presumably trespass.

OrchidInTheSun · 07/10/2019 10:30

Why should she let them use it? They're using it without asking now so they've blown any chance of neighbourly kindness.

I would put up the laminated sign and put a note through their door telling them (mentioning that you've tried to talk to them several times with no success).

Original poster
northbacchus · 07/10/2019 10:32

Wasn't able to confront the person when I saw them posting through the keyfob as was attending to my baby.

Unfortunately I don't have a great deal of free time to chase the management company or to knock on the door until they answer - I have a baby and I'm also doing a degree.

Will try your suggestions, thank you! Don't want to clamp or go down a bollard route for now.

OP posts:
KatyCarrCan · 07/10/2019 10:33

Put a note on the car. They may not be aware that it's a private space.
In our old house, some of the flats had allocated spaces and some didn't. It was a discrepancy that related back to when the flats were built. It meant that those with designated spaces thought others were being cheeky parking in their spaces. But the others didn't know the spaces were designated.

loobyloo1234 · 07/10/2019 10:35

YABU to leave a note. Just knock on the door, and tell the CF that you need the space

Original poster
northbacchus · 07/10/2019 10:35

@AmIThough I'd only be happy if they asked prior, and if they were able to vacate the space on Mondays as that's when I often have visitors. Them so blatantly using it without asking has soured this somewhat.

Also the missing package and them not answering the door did leave a bad taste in my mouth too. I've never known anyone to just ignore knocking!

OP posts:
KatharinaRosalie · 07/10/2019 10:36

Note on the car. No 'please stop lending it out', it is YOUR space and just because you don't use it, does not make it free for all. If neighbour thought you would not mind, they should have asked.

AmIThough · 07/10/2019 10:36

@northbacchus I guess the only justification on their part is that you're not using it regularly so they thought it would be fine. Not an excuse but people are CFers.
I'd try and catch them one of the days and tell them you need the space for visitors Monday-Friday but you're happy for them to use it if they check with you beforehand

FreshFreesias · 07/10/2019 10:37

You could email the managing agent and ask them to deal with it. Apols if this has been suggested. I’m gob snacked at such cheeky fuckery. Or say you will charge by the hour, by appointment 😁

PleaseNoFortnite · 07/10/2019 10:39

But they have knocked Lazypuppy - OP I would post a note as above, give them a fixed amount of time, say 2 weeks, to come back to you, and then if you haven't heard by then put up a bollard.

We have a similar problem with our parking space (like you we don't have a car and just have visitors and elderly relatives parking there) - but since it's a walled area in front of our flat we've just put a gate across it to seal it off from several people who decided they quite fancied parking there without asking us.

shinysinkredemption · 07/10/2019 10:41

I'd write seeing as they're not receptive to your knocking:
Dear Neighbour
We've noticed that a car is sometimes parked in our parking space in the garage. This is very inconvenient for us, as although we don't own a car at present, we have friends and family members who rely on our parking space being free to use. Therefore please do not make use of our parking space in the future.
We did try to knock to discuss this with you but couldn't seem to catch you in.
Thank you for understanding.
Kind regards XX

AdobeWanKenobi · 07/10/2019 10:42

are you happy for them to use it when you don't need it

The problem with this is it becomes a pain in the arse. My later Mum did this, thankfully on a trial, allowing a neighbour to use her drive. Problem was every time I visited I couldn't actually park. I never knew when he'd be there and neither did she and several times I had to lug shopping and my Mum up the street because I couldn't park on her own property.
I spoke to him in the end and told him it wasn't working. Don't think he was happy but that was his issue not mine.

If OP has visitors coming and going the space should be available to park in for them at any time. They own it, they pay for it and the neighbours are just rude.

I'd ask the management company if I could fit a parking bollard, issue relatives with keys and let the neighbours sort out their own spaces.

coconuttelegraph · 07/10/2019 10:42

I've never known anyone to just ignore knocking!

Are you new to MN? No one on here answers their door without 3 week's written warning that someone is going to knock. Whilst I don't know anyone in RL who does that apparently for vast numbers of people it is perfectly normal behaviour.

I wouldn't be making any kind of agreement them, you don't know what will happen in the future, politley point out that it is your space and no one else is to park in it and that you will be putting in a bollard asap

shinysinkredemption · 07/10/2019 10:44

As to what you've said about being happy for them to use it sometimes - the way they've behaved, I'd no sooner lend them my parking space than I would lend them my bedroom. It belongs to you!!

TheGoodEnoughWife · 07/10/2019 10:45

Find the time to sort this. Why be a push over? It is YOUR space. People just take the piss. It doesn't work for them to use it sometimes as people get entitled. Why would you have that hassle to use your own space?
Every time your mortgage payment goes out from your bank that is your money paying for your home and your parking space. Not for anyone else!

OrchidInTheSun · 07/10/2019 10:45

For all you know they're renting it, not lending it

EvilPostbox · 07/10/2019 10:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

sandragreen · 07/10/2019 10:46

Well if you "don't have time" to deal with it I guess you just put up with it Confused

PENGUIN BOLLARDS!!!!! Grin

Raindancer411 · 07/10/2019 10:48

I know people have said no note, but if you have tried knocking maybe you can post a note saying you have tried to knock a few times and wonder if they know who is using your space as when your disabled relative tried visiting the other day it was being used.

eddielizzard · 07/10/2019 10:48

I would leave a note. It's completely not on! Total CF'ery.

Bellringer · 07/10/2019 10:49

Problem with writing is you need to declare neighbour dispute when selling. However so do they. Write a proper letter and keep a copy. Don't waffle on or make excuses, just ask them to stop using your space.

Original poster
northbacchus · 07/10/2019 10:49

@sandragreen Never said I don't have time to deal with it, I simply don't have time for endless knocking or chasing of the management company.

I've fired off a quick email to the management company this morning, however our last email still remains unanswered.

OP posts:
YoTheGinPussyOfStMawesOnThigh · 07/10/2019 10:50

Somewhere in your service agreement should be the details of how much the parking space costs pa. if you are unable to use it due to CFs this should be deducted from the bill. Contact the company and say you want the space and unless they sort it out you won’t be paying x amount for it.

IsadoraQuagmire · 07/10/2019 10:51

I wouldn't let them park there at all. I'd also insist that the management company speak to them, I'd bang on their door AND have a go at the person using the space. I absolutely love a good confrontation though and always have the last word in every situation Grin