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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To hate myself for being so fucking organised!!

95 replies

Birthdaycakemondays · 06/10/2019 20:20

Please tell me I’m not alone?

‘You’ll need to bring your passport/kids birth certificates as ID’
Shit - where are they? Long delay always till I find the time to rummage through half the house to find them.

Washing on again where I’ve forgotten to hang it for the THIRD time.

Need to sort all old kids clothes/toys take to charity shop - needed to for months haven’t done it, dreading Christmas when more shit arrives.

Need to do a tip run, crap just taking up space that never gets done.

On the surface my house looks ‘tidy’ but I know I have these messes all around lurking in cupboards/my brain driving me INSANE!

I’m just scatty & unorganised & really piss myself off because of it.

Are other people like this? Because everyone else doesn’t seem half as chaotic!

I really do try to be more organised but I just fail after a week or so of ‘keeping on top of things.’

Wise mumsnetters with immaculate houses, how do you do it?!?!

I do have a 2 year old & 4 month old but must stop using them as an excuse because I’ve always been like this Hmm

AIBU to think I am the only one that struggles?

OP posts:
Babyroobs · 06/10/2019 20:23

Did you mean to say unorganised ?

Biancadelrioisback · 06/10/2019 20:23

My garage is full of stuff I just don't want to deal with. I haven't been in in months.
I force myself to try and be organised but I'm not.
I have no idea where my birth certificate is...or DSs.

Birthdaycakemondays · 06/10/2019 20:24

@Babyroobs 😂🤪 what a perfect example. Yes. I did!!

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 06/10/2019 20:26

You've got to get rid of all of the useless clutter, tat, paperwork, clothes, toys, and bullshit you don't use or need. That's the only way. Your life will be SO much happier for it.

As for important documents, get a fire proof safe box. Everything critical goes in there and stays in there unless needed. I have had one for decades and I have never had to search for anything.

Birthdaycakemondays · 06/10/2019 20:27

@Biancadelrioisback I have no idea where my birth certificate is...or DSs.

Thank god.

My mum acted like not knowing where the kids birth certificates were is akin to neglect!

OP posts:
NoSquirrels · 06/10/2019 20:30

This thread will be an interesting social experiment on what sorts of replies you get based on the thread title...

Will the organised sort be here to sympathise & then be horrified?

Or will the unorganised lot click on to find out some top tips and stay to empathise?

FWIW, I think with a 2 year old & a 4 month old you should be delegating the responsibility for tip runs etc to someone else! And give yourself a break.

Scottishgirl85 · 06/10/2019 20:31

*disorganised Grin

I'm one of those annoying people who has a ridiculously organised home. Tackle it in small portions. For example tidy out 1 drawer when you have a spare 15 mins. Then slowly progress round the house. Then the trick is to keep it that way! Constantly keep on top of tidying and don't allow yourself to dump stuff. Although I've got a dumping drawer where admin to be filed goes, and another drawer for admin to be dealt with - this way the bits you don't have time to do there and then don't pile up on work surfaces. Then everything else in the house has it's place and I could find something with a moments notice. Only keep what you need and never go to bed with the house untidy.
It's easy once you're on top of it, and we have a 4 and 1 year old. Cleaning on the other hand- we have a cleaner!

DuckWillow · 06/10/2019 20:35

I find it very hard, I have ADHD and executive function is very impaired.

I’ve had a mass clear out today in my bedroom but took my stimulant medication which just helps me to focus in a way nothing else can.

Three bags of recycling and so far four bags of clothes to charity,

Floor vacuumed.

It feels good .

PixieDustt · 06/10/2019 20:36

I love organisation but it helps me keep myself sane-isn.
I'm the same with time, I'm going on holiday next week and already have what time I need to get up and leave and get DS up and ready to time in with his next feed whilst we're on the road 🙈.
Sometimes I think I need to chill out a bit tbh!

Starface · 06/10/2019 20:37

I wouldn't say my house is immaculate but I am fairly organised.

I Marie Kondoed about 5 years ago which was brilliant for getting rid of stuff and reorganising. After a tough few years I am finally sorting the last bits of electronic filing. I maintain our stuff levels and constantly get rid of stuff. I am fairly keen on recycling, reuse and generally making best use of consumption of the planet which inspires me to find good homes for things, very happy to give away if stuff will be used not wasted. I now hate excess stuff and I get rid of things asap.

Being less organised and having to search the house as you describe would drive me crazy and feel like such a massive waste of time. It feels so important to be organised to reduce my stress levels.

I don't think you are unusual, but this what drives me to keep a reasonable level of organisation going.

PixieDustt · 06/10/2019 20:37

Ish*

Girasole02 · 06/10/2019 20:38

My good organisation is a standing joke. No magic wand to offer sadly. I just chuck/ charity shop everything as soon as it is no longer wanted or useful. Important documents kept in the safe. Calendar with everything written on. Bills, paperwork dealt with immediately. Housework tackled as I go along. I work and have time for hobbies.

Afternoonteadelight · 06/10/2019 20:38

I am very organised and my tips would be get rid of most of the crap you’ve probably accumulated.
Planners and lists, either online or paper.
Assign important documents to the same place. The passport drawer mine is called.
Get online deliveries where available.
Also if you can afford any outside help, even as a one off clean etc it’s worth it.
If you can cut back on Christmas/ birthday gifting with some people it will save a lot of time and money.
I follow a lot of professional organisers and get a lot of good tips.

Ludos · 06/10/2019 20:40

"Or will the unorganised lot click on to find out some top tips and stay to empathise?"

I came for tips Grin

ilovetofu · 06/10/2019 20:43

I'm really unorganised too op.
I'm also amazed at all these people with safes & fire proof boxes!
Watching for tips Smile

Lelly0503 · 06/10/2019 20:44

Yes I think you might be me, we even have DC the same age. If it wasn’t for my DH I think i’d have lost my own head by now. Weirdly, when it comes to the DC, I’m organised but with everything else I’m awful, here is a list of things I do:

  • write shopping lists and forget to take them with me
-through out the day repeatedly lose and then find my keys/phone/bank card
  • do an online food shop and always forget to check out therefore losing my slot
-DC birth certificate is still on the floor of my car, he is two.

I have a friend who is the same as me so when we go out for the day with our DC it’s even worse because neither of us know if we’re coming or going

slipperywhensparticus · 06/10/2019 20:45

I managed to close my wardrobe door today doesnt sound licke an achievement but I've declutter a couple of bags of clothes including almost 20 pairs of trousers I'm a size 14 I used to be a 10/12 I'm doing shit on my weight loss so in the bin they go (charity bin) I'm crying at the waste in money but I genuinely cannot fit into them

ilovetofu · 06/10/2019 20:45

But also please don't hate yourself op. It's not like if you died tomorrow then you'd think " I wish I'd spent more time tidying / filling!" Is it?

Kittenbittenmitten · 06/10/2019 20:46

I get it OP. For some things I'm quite organised but I'm not tidy. I've no problem washing, drying and if the mood takes me even ironing laundry Shock but it usually stays in the basket for weeks.
I have designated folders for paperwork but I have a pile of letters on my coffee table waiting to be filed. Receiving paperwork just stresses me out. I don't know why I can't just read and file. Confused. Tbh it gets me down now as I thought I'd drop living in chaos as I got older.

slipperywhensparticus · 06/10/2019 20:46

And I cant find the birth certificates either I'm pretty sure I know where they are I used to have it all organised in a box

MitziK · 06/10/2019 20:47

Grab a bin bag and a chair. Fill the bin bag with anything you see that don't immediately think 'if the house was on fire, I'd take this with me'. Tie the top, shove it in the wheelie bin. Do this once a day - don't think too much about it, it doesn't require intense intellectual debate; are you keeping it? No? Bin it then. Do this once a day and then you're 7 bin bags down on stuff by next Monday morning, give it a month and you've removed the equivalent of a room full of stuff.

Have a large, brightly coloured box file. (Brightly coloured so you can see it under a pile of stuff). Every time you touch a bill, bank statement or official document, put it into the boxfile. Immediately.

Put a bin where you stop when you've picked up post. Drop all junk mail, envelopes, additional inserts, etc, everything that doesn't need action, straight into the bin before it gets any further into your house. If you open a bank statement, drop the envelope and junk leaflets from inside into that bin, walk to the boxfile and shove it in. Straight away.

Do you lose your keys/work lanyard? Put a hook/sat shoulder height exactly where you would stop as you come in through the door, out of sight and reach of the letterbox/on the hinged side. Always hang them up as you walk in, no dumping them on a side where they get picked up, forgotten, knocked off or moved whilst your mind is on something else.

Train yourself to come in the door, hang the keys up, take your coat off, kick your shoes off into a useful storage area right where you would take them off anyway - so if somebody mimed the actions back to you, you'd know they were leaving your house in the morning, or somebody copying you would be able to find their way out in the dark.

Keep your changing bag packed and ready to go all the time with everything you need, other than fresh food/milk. Keep your purse in your actual bag at all times, along with cards, etc.

Have a place where you put your phone on to charge. Near the kettle is good, as you'll be able to put it on as you make a drink/bottle and if you forget it, you'll know where to find it quickly.

Once you've cleared out the stuff that is interfering with your ability to think straight (other than the obvious adorable baby and child, they're non negotiable keeping items), it'll make everything else less stressful.

Then you can go to a cupboard and do another bin bag, etc.

Gileadisreal · 06/10/2019 20:51

I'm also massively disorganised, but I make a concerted effort and tackle things all in one go. It definitely helps make me feel more sane and generally, my house is pretty organised and tidy, i'm getting better at it the older I get (and the older the kids get and are able to pick up their own rubbish!)

That said, I have a scary office/spare room which is terrifying and I have no idea where to start. It literally gives me palpitations.
Shall I post a pic? I'm not sure I dare!!!

SunshineAngel · 06/10/2019 20:52

I am a very organised person, and moved in with my partner a year ago who is the complete opposite. He has rubbed off on me, and now I hate the person I have become.

BlueBilledBeatboxingBird · 06/10/2019 20:52

The Organised Mum Method.

Some people sneer at it as being laughably obvious, but rather like when people who find it easy to regulate their appetite to stay naturally slim don't really understand slimming clubs, it is incredibly useful if organisation does not come naturally to you. I find it a really valuable tool.

Nearlyalmost50 · 06/10/2019 20:53

I am really the last person who should be giving tips on organization as I am mostly terrible at it- but knowing where my documents are is one thing I can do! You could go on Amazon now and get a fire-proof box, then every time you come across a truly life changing piece of paper, put it in there- so passports and birth certificates for sure.

You could have a second file for other important documents like certificates from education.

I find if I mix all that stuff in with regular bills, school stuff and insurance docs (which I struggle to keep on top of) then there's more chance of losing it.

Those type of things don't need to be accessed often. Act now and this is one accomplishment.

As for everything else, I don't know, it's like painting the Forth Bridge for me and I can't remember what my system is half the time.