To hate myself for being so fucking organised!!

[Birthdaycakemondays]

Please tell me I’m not alone?

‘You’ll need to bring your passport/kids birth certificates as ID’
Shit - where are they? Long delay always till I find the time to rummage through half the house to find them.

Washing on again where I’ve forgotten to hang it for the THIRD time.

Need to sort all old kids clothes/toys take to charity shop - needed to for months haven’t done it, dreading Christmas when more shit arrives.

Need to do a tip run, crap just taking up space that never gets done.

On the surface my house looks ‘tidy’ but I know I have these messes all around lurking in cupboards/my brain driving me INSANE!

I’m just scatty & unorganised & really piss myself off because of it.

Are other people like this? Because everyone else doesn’t seem half as chaotic!

I really do try to be more organised but I just fail after a week or so of ‘keeping on top of things.’

Wise mumsnetters with immaculate houses, how do you do it?!?!

I do have a 2 year old & 4 month old but must stop using them as an excuse because I’ve always been like this

AIBU to think I am the only one that struggles?

Place marking to pick up tips!

Paperwork

Things to keep forever
Passports, driving licence, marriage, birth, death, adoption, divorce certificates, visas, will, power of attorney docs etc ideally this category is in fire proof safe or even a metal locking box is better than nothing

Things to keep may for a long time /specified period
significant certificates, degrees etc, if self employed accounts for last 6-12 years, share certificates, long term insurance policies life assurance, mortgage and pension documents

Things that are important to have but only the most upto date
rental agreements, 1-2 years bank statements P45 /P60 current house car travel insurance 1 year of utility bills or know where they are stored online, payslips until you get this years P45 sometimes for ID /address you need a current utility bill, current phone contract car loans student loans
manuals instructions for key equipment ( not kettles or toasters)

receipts for large ticket items in guarantee warranty period

some of these may be online some might be paper

There is no need for the average person to keep bank statements / wage slips /utility bills for years

One thing at a time.
Find birth certificates, passports etc put them all in a folder or a safe and leave them there. If you ever need to take them out. As soon as you step foot in the door put them back where they belong before you have done anything.
Paperwork- change as much as possible to online documents. Insurance, bank statements, utility bills. Then you don’t have to worry about them.
Other mail- junk mail is recycled immediately. Anything with an address on is shredded once a week. Anything that does need to be kept is put in an accordion folder which is labeled. Medical, pension, school etc.

I follow the Organised Housewife. It sounds terribly twee, but she emails a 15 min task every weekday that makes me feel I'm just ever so slightly ahead of the game. Eg recent ones include 'clean your remote controls', 'tidy out your crockery cupboard', 'wash 2 windows' etc. I feel a tiny bit smug when I've done one of these little jobs.

Aside from this, I tackle one room a day - tidy, dust, Hoover. Then do a little extra such as bin the pile of mags in the room or chuck all the paperwork festering on the mantelpiece or sort through old spice jars.
I'm gradually getting on top of it, but can't honestly say that I believe I'll ever be fully in control.

All very well with your safe places and folders. But what do you do if you have a DC who wanders off with their passport because they need it for a job interview, and then leaves it at the place where they went for said interview, only can't remember where it was they went, or why?

I would like to say I was very fed up with this DC, but as it is genetic, I can hardly criticise.

Some people are beyond help.

I think I must be in between. My house is full of clutter and stuff, and so is the garage - both DH and I like to keep everything in case it comes in handy one day ! We have two pre-teens who quadrupled our stuff as soon as they were born, too. My house is clean where it matters, but cobwebs and dust are regular fixtures. BUT - I am actually quite organised. I have piles of stuff and paperwork, (I have several PT jobs from home and box files and folders everywhere) and forms for school and homework and bills and all the usual stuff all over the kitchen - but I do know what's in each pile and where things are. Important documents are in safe places, and things needing action are left on the worktop where they never get covered with other bits until I do them. I also have a large wall calendar which rules all our lives.! Chin up OP - it is doable!

Although I did once take the children to a fancy dress party 24 hours early...... - but that was better than being a day late!

DH told me last week that my disorganisedness is endearing but he has to be the only one with that opinion. It irritates me so I can only imagine how irritating it is for others. I'm better at work (not great but better) but it's like my brain leaves my skull when it comes to home life

I’m really disorganised and I’ve started following the organised mum method, which is helping. You can find it on Facebook and she also has a blog, but basically you have a set day to clean and tidy each room and you set a timer and just do what you can in 30mins. Every Friday you focus on one room and do the less routine jobs such as cleaning out the oven (but again you only spend 30mins and start with whatever needs doing most).

You are supposed to do a boot camp first which involves clearing out all the clutter and you spend as long as it takes each day to get it sorted, but I can’t be bothered with that so I’m just diving straight in but accepting that it will take longer to get my house straight.

My most deplorable trait is writing cards/wrapping parcels and then leaving them by my door ready for posting until it’s too embarrassing to send them.
If it helps, you are not alone, green. What’s even worse is getting the DC to write thank you cards or Christmas cards etc and then never posting them...

There's no point trying to fart against thunder. Nobdie

See I am THE most disorganised, forgetful and untidy person you could ever meet. Aside from my dad. Unfortunately I'm also naturally lazy and would rather slob out in bed watching nonsense on Youtube than have to motivate myself to get things done. BUT this year I have! I got into watching clips of Youtubers Marie Kondoing their homes last year, and I've gradually gradually been working on mine. I've decluttered so much and found a place for everything. Not that I can be relied upon to put my keys on the key hook, or that letter from the bank in my 'banking' box file, but as I don't have other crap lying around it's much harder to mislay stuff because it doesn't get buried in a heap of unrelated gubbins.

So what I'm saying in a very roundabout way is, GET RID OF EVERYTHING YOU CAN!!! It helps soooo much. Make a list now of priorities, and promise to reward yourself (or a treat for the kids might be more motivating to you?) when it's done. Don't overwhelm yourself by biting off more than you can chew, but chip away at it. Do you work full time? Even if you do I reckon you can do these things in a week, with the goal of a treat next Sunday if you manage it:

Monday: Buy (nice looking and easily identifiable) storage boxes for Important Things - passports, bank letters, birth certificates, school reports, all that stuff. Laura Ashley do nice ones, or WH Smith. Buy a large plastic art folder for each child. When they're out of the house/asleep go through all their artistic creations. Scribble and junk can be quietly 'suppressed', the nicer stuff photographed and suppressed, the special pieces preserved in the folders.

Tuesday: Tip run for stuff already set aside to go. Have a quick check in each room just before you leave and grab anything else obvious that can be chucked too. Be sure to take any of the kid's toys you know to be broken. Make sure you take the 'suppressed' artwork from yesterday.

Wednesday: Marie Kondo your wardrobe and chest of drawers. Does it Spark Joy? If the answer's 'not really' it goes in one of 2 binbags - 'Donate to charity' or 'Recycle'.

Thursday: Ditto, for the children's clothes, discard ANYTHING they're outgrown, or you know in your heart of hearts will never wear.

Friday: Go through the cups and glasses in the kitchen cupboards. This is often a spot that gets out of control because they're so often given as gifts and people don't like to chuck them. Honestly though, it gets ridiculous sometimes. I'm currently working with a family who have 40 different children's drinking vessels in their tiny kitchen. 40!! They have 3 children. Box up any that you know nobody will even remember this time next week and set them aside for Saturday when...

Saturday: You help the children sort through their toys, with the promise of a treat tomorrow if you're happy with their attitude to the task, and they offer up a decent amount. Depending on how old they are remind them that Christmas is coming and that Santa will need to see some space in their toyboxes/toy cupboard or he'll think they won't need anything more. In the afternoon, take the toys, the clothes and the glasses/mugs to the charity shop, and the other clothes to the recycling bank along with any cardboard boxes you've freed up.

Sunday: Take them to the zoo/other random treat for their wonderful decluttering. Feel good about yourself.

The idea being that that's very achievable in a week. On Monday 14th it still might not exactly feel like you're a minimalist, you might still feel like there's clutter everywhere and you're still mislaying things, but you WILL have made a difference. You should feel that bit more confident and buoyed ready to do it again! Keep at it, week by week. Don't say to yourself 'I must have everything decluttered and organised and pristine by such-a-time'. That's not realistic and you'll just feel hopeless and deflated and give up before you start. Set yourself smaller tasks you know you can easily achieve. I do what I cheesily call an '8 is great!' every day. I look around the room/house for 8 things that can be thrown away, put back where they belong or fund a new long-term location for. When I've done 8 things the room or house feels that tiny bit better to be living in. If I feel I can manage another 8 I go for it! If not, that's fine too, and I allow myself to chill out with a clear conscience. It's just a motivating way to chip-chip-chip away at it all so I feel in control again.

Everything must have a home (especially passports) and they must always be put away there so you know where to find it.

If you cannot find a home, you need to declutter or buy more storage.

Set reminders. Diarise recurring items. Put important deadlines in a place you check regularly, preferably with reminders, such as the deadline to apply to primary school or your dental appt.

Split deadlines into mini-deadlines e.g. for looking at primary schools, put in the open days, application deadline, when you expect to receive the results, buy uniforms, put name tags on uniform.

Have a kitchen/shared calendar that everyone in the house can check. Put things in the calendar/list asap otherwise you will forget.
If the calendar or list if not handy, put it in an email draft called 'todo' and email it to yourself - your phone is presumably with you most of the time.

Clean/tidy up as you go along. A clean and tidy living area leads to clearer thinking and less stress.

Scooby- what a nasty thing for a plumber to say to a potential customer 😳

Dd birth certificate. I hunted high and low. She was 16 and needed ID. She'd had a passport so I must have used it. I paid for a copy.
Weeks later I happened to go through her Baby Book. Scan photo, hospital ankle tags and cot label, cord grip, cards etc and...fancy big envelope with the words Birth Certificate on the front. Yep. There it was.

This used to be me and then I read Marie Kondo and it literally changed my life. I decided to spend 30 mins a day sorting my life out instead of watching TV. It became strangely addictive, I started out sorting out the piles of paper then went on to clear the entire house.

Paperwork, passports etc.
Start with these. Go right through the house for any paperwork. I got a safe for passports, birth certificates, driving licences, wills etc. but a drawer would do. Don't put anything else in there. Everything else just file by year. I have a lever arch file for all new paperwork. If it's important file it in there, if not straight in the recycling bin.

Then set yourself a mini-target each day. A kitchen cupboard or chest of drawers. If you don't need any of the contents get rid of them (Marie Kondo really helps with this if like me you feel guilty about not keeping stuff). Everything else needs a home. All my cupboards and drawers now have containers, e.g. bathroom cupboard has medicine, cleaning products, hair products, bath products etc. Then you can see at a glance what you've got. If you're anything like I was you'll always be buying stuff you don't need either because you don't know you've already got some or you can't find it.

Once everything has a place you'll stop losing things. Keys go on a hook in the cupboard, there's a basket for all the phone chargers, a box for batteries, a folder for birthday cards and stamps. You'll save money, time and stress. I can't recommend it enough! Good luck!

I usually do a seasonal clear out and get rid of anything unneeded or broken, it makes it easier to see how much storage space you have to play with. I'd say the easiest way, or at least what works for me is to pick a room & start gradually working through the cupboards, draws & other areas you want to sort through & just go room to room until you're done, even just spending a couple of hours when you're off at the weekend doing one room can make a difference, you could even get the kids to help fold clothes or sort things into piles for some allowance.

I find it easier to keep on top of things if I designate things to a particular space, I know it's tricky to do and takes time but it helps a lot. For example I have all my hanging clothing organised by colour, then separate shelving for pyjamas, vests, bottoms, tops & jackets. I have this same system in my sons bedroom draws. It makes laundry easier, finding items easier and just looks good!

I even turned a coat closet in our hallway into a pantry by adding a shelving unit to store dried foods, drinks bottles, packs of nappies, wet wipes and other bits and pieces. It frees up a lot of room in our kitchen and other areas.

Storage boxes can be a lifesaver! I try to arrange all my sons toys in individual boxes so when he wants one I can just grab that box and not have to rummage through a huge box with a hundred little toys and pieces in, labeling things makes this even easier.

Typing this has made me realise I probably sound completely psychotic but I should add that I have pretty severe OCD so organising things is fun to me.

I forgot to add, perhaps try a notice board or something similar that you can stick to your fridge or have at eye level where you'll see it, you can write all your 'to do' items on there and cross them off as you go along. I'm terrible at remembering things and my life revolves around lists, I've literally got 'to do-to do lists' if that makes sense.

I am organized. My house is tidy and clean almost all of the time.

I can find relevant documents. I do tax accounts with relative ease. I know where shit is and it’s absolutely brilliant. My life is so stress free and I used to waste so much time finding stuff, now I don’t!

I am not a neat freak, I don’t do endless housework, and I am not a naturally organised person.

It’s been years of following tips, having an OCD husband, and a special needs kid that meant I really needed to be more on my game. I just can’t afford to waste time anymore on running after my bad habits.

I used to be very disorganised but it was so much pain I've become more organized where it counts. Now, for important things I make a place and get a box/file/shelf/whatever label it neatly and every time the thing comes out of that place it goes back there too. It has been a bit of a lifesaver for passports/birth certificates etc. Also for the baking stuff I only use at Christmas! For remembering stuff I use google calandar and get email reminders about just about everything. It has been v.useful!
When it comes to the DC's toys and other junk, though, we have a garage that is slowly (well, not that slowly) getting filled with boxes full of things I can't be bothered sorting through that I know we will probably throw out eventually. Would be so much healthier to through it out now but...

I'm more like you OP than the organised people you describe, and hate it. It's hard work to stay on top of things.

The people I know who are organised are either:

• Very ruthless when it comes to getting rid of stuff. They'll throw toys away without asking DC, if something is broken and needs fixing they'll chuck it if it can't be done quickly and easily, they aren't sentimental about drawings and don't keep things "just in case".

• Time rich. They have family to look after DC, or are SAHM with children in childcare at least some of the time, or have partners who don't work long hours.

I on the other hand find it hard to get rid of things "just in case" and try to make do and mend, but have little spare time with no family support. It's a rubbish combination.

I’m organised with some things and totally whoosh with others. It’s annoying isn’t it op.

My advice: get a folder and just shot everything in there

Oh and I’m deffo one of those people that says if it’s not used it’s gone. I can’t cope in a cluttered house

OP, I bought a book a few years ago called 'Why am I so Disorganised?'.

It looked like it was going to be really useful, especially as it touched on the psychological side of the issue.

But I misplaced it somewhere in my house and haven't seen it since.

@LonginesPrime

The idea being that that's very achievable in a week

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha... for someone who doesn't have a full-time job, then has to cook, clean, do the washing, help kids with homework and taxi kids to different activities.

Marie Kondo your wardrobe and chest of drawers. Does it Spark Joy?
If I did that, I'd be permanently butt-naked. Not everyone can afford to replace their entire clothing. My clothes may not "spark joy" but my employer still prefers that I wear them