To hate myself for being so fucking organised!!

[Birthdaycakemondays]

Please tell me I’m not alone?

‘You’ll need to bring your passport/kids birth certificates as ID’
Shit - where are they? Long delay always till I find the time to rummage through half the house to find them.

Washing on again where I’ve forgotten to hang it for the THIRD time.

Need to sort all old kids clothes/toys take to charity shop - needed to for months haven’t done it, dreading Christmas when more shit arrives.

Need to do a tip run, crap just taking up space that never gets done.

On the surface my house looks ‘tidy’ but I know I have these messes all around lurking in cupboards/my brain driving me INSANE!

I’m just scatty & unorganised & really piss myself off because of it.

Are other people like this? Because everyone else doesn’t seem half as chaotic!

I really do try to be more organised but I just fail after a week or so of ‘keeping on top of things.’

Wise mumsnetters with immaculate houses, how do you do it?!?!

I do have a 2 year old & 4 month old but must stop using them as an excuse because I’ve always been like this

AIBU to think I am the only one that struggles?

OP, my messes aren't even lurking in cupboards. 1000% disorganised, here. One of my DC isn't wonder if he's really mine. The others are.

I have 2 kids under 5 and I feel like I’m constantly fire fighting.

If you have a 2 year old and a 4 month old and you still manage to have a house that on the surface looks tidy then I think actually you are pretty organised - you're being way too harsh on yourself.

Sorting paperwork is one of those jobs that is actually quite cathartic when you do it - you'll need a child-free afternoon (which I realise is quite an ask), a good podcast or playlist to listen to, some A4 document wallets and then just get everything out of the drawers and wade through it, sorting it into piles as you go. I tend to let it build up and then once every 6 months or so have a blitz.

I think I'm too far on the opposite side of the spectrum, I'm so organised to the point where I can't sleep at night as I always think of things that need to be done and I spend so much of my day cleaning, organising writing lists ect I hate myself for it 😂

@Birthdaycakemondays

If you report your thread, admin will alter your thread title to 'unorganised...' Just message them via the 'report thread' thingy.

And you are NOT alone!

Me too!

At work I am so organised but at home I'm never on top of anything. I forgot to prepare for after school clubs, the house constantly needs tidying, I don't know where anything is or what's going on ever. I hate it!

I opened this because I was wondering what the hell organised people had to be stressed about. I know where my kids birth certificates are, but only because I got there three seconds before my toddler turned them into bath sprinkles. There he was, poised to shred them, and I swooped in just in time to stop them being decorative bath decorations in the bubble sludge I hadn't got rid of yet. I haven't sat down in 3 days trying to make some sense of the chaos. I wish I could have a paper free life. Everything I can do online (like paying most of my bills, banking and ordering shopping) I am really on top of. Everything else is just 3 seconds away from a child created disaster or an accidental recycling incident.

I’m really quite organised most of the time and my house is normally v tidy. Don’t get as much cleaning done as I want though 😂 can’t have everything!

I’ve just pulled out everything in my pantry cupboard I’ve been meaning to do it for literally weeks. I’m now bloody annoyed that it’s 9pm on a Sunday and I wish I’d never started 🙄

I used to have lots of different folders. (I'm the sort of person who likes spreadsheets) but then I read an 'organising' book that said just file by year rather than subject. So now, I do that. One big box folder for the year. Plus two smaller folders split into: To Do and Bills.
Plus I have separate folders for important documents so I know exactly where our birth certificates, driving documents are.

This is me ! I’m on my fifth I think weekend of decluttering with lots of cleaning during the week
So far 30 bin bags of stuff have left my house and the front garden is full of stuff to go to the tip. I’m absolutely determined to get it sorted before November because it’s making my mental health suffer

I am extremely disorganised. This week’s fails: lost tax return paperwork, forgotten car servicing appointment, lost family rail card. But I am organised about one thing: passports and other frequently used travel papers. I keep them in a particular envelope in a particular place and every time we come home from using them, they go straight back before I even put the kettle on for a cup of tea or go to the toilet.

I implemented this after the second expensive go at replacing lost passports at short notice. Not only do I have less stress, but I can also feel a little bit smug every time I get them out or put them away. Everything else is still chaos but if I can make that little oasis in my disorganised chaos, so can you... trust me, it will help!

In meantime, I live in hope that one day that little oasis of order will spread, and that I will turn into my mother (who has never lost anything).

Ahhh thanks everyone! Some of you have given me tips, some have made me feel not alone! Both appreciated!

I have a filing cabinet with slings just like in an office except mine is bright blue. Everything goes in there. I don't name the slings because that would be too sad, but it does mean that everything from passports, to car and house insurance, to pension stuff and post awaiting filing has a home.

Each DC has a couple of folders for school letters, exam certificates etc.

Periodically I go through the pending post and scan it into Dropbox so that the original can be thrown away. The key thing is to name everything properly. I scan in passports and NI numbers for the DC too and it is amazing how often I am asked for a copy!

I would not describe myself as hugely organised in any other area, but on paperwork I think I have it cracked.

@VondaVomin

Everything goes in there. I don't name the slings because that would be too sad,

I am so like you. I had a plumber to look at our boiler recently and offered him more work, an expensive job. He flatly refused to quote for it because he thinks I live in chaos. I agree.

Most days my house is a tip and I have short-term memory issues linked to medical conditions so I forget where everything is, including my sanity. I met someone - a tidy guru - who give me tips on a more organised life. It sounds like mumbo jumbo, but the basics are really important. Getting organised involves making time everyday for tasks - decluttering etc. It also means making spreadsheets for me with lists of tasks to be done, the location of important items and so forth. I have healed myself a lot by not getting stressed out from losing stuff by keeping it all in a safe, and having a timetable for life, the kids, work etc. It just calms the noise down of ARGGGHHH from wandering around looking for stuff, or missing appointments. I do a tip run once every 6 weeks, and ask the British Heart Foundation to pick up our old stuff that can be re-used. Many local charities will collect these days. Good luck!

You buy box files and filing cabinets and have a filing system. And you buy storage boxes, line them up and label them. You have notebooks with to do lists and cross them off.

I’m not naturally that organised so I have to be super-organised to make up for it.

I feel like this. I was diagnosed with ADHD in my 30s when I had two young children, which was very much a tipping point for realising that something was amiss.

I do think it is very hard with young children and limited time. And that most mothers in this situation feel pretty stressed out and disorganised. But some of us more than others! If you think this is a pattern that goes back to your own childhood and stopped you from achieving what you could have done, then do read up on ADHD in adult women. Did you struggle with organising yourself for school or university too, or is it just now with the pressure of young children?

'You’ll need to bring your passport/kids birth certificates as ID’

I keep all important documents in a bright pink box file on a shelf above my desk. That way they are always at hand if I'm filling in forms etc (as I do all that kind of thing at my desk) and it takes seconds to put it back.

Washing on again where I’ve forgotten to hang it for the THIRD time.

Set an alarm on your phone. I can create an alarm and title it, so I set alarms for everything from the washing, dinner being in the oven to when I need to leave the house to collect DD from dance/gym etc.

Need to sort all old kids clothes/toys take to charity shop

Have a box/bag in your kids room for clothes and as soon as something is outgrown put it in there. When it gets full, put it in the car and drop it off at the charity shop next time you're passing or scope out one of those charity clothes bins - usually at supermarkets - and drop it off next time you do the weekly shop.

Same for toys- if they're broken, put them straight in the bin and if theyre still good quality donate them straight away. I used to have a box on the top shelf of my wardrobe and if DD didn't play with something for a while I would put it in the box and if she hadn't asked for it then I'd donate it.

A lot of people feel the need to take things to charity shops on one big sweep but if little and often is more likely to ensure stuff gets out of the house, then do it.

unorganised

No such word. It’s disorganised.

Came on here to say being disorganised is overrated but I guess you've worked that out for yourself, OP.

Allocate ten or fifteen minutes a day minutes a day to get paperwork into files/chuck a couple of items into a kept handy charity box/tidy a shelf or drawer but complete whichever area you tackle first.

Breaking it down into manageable chunks will make it less daunting.

This is a great thread. I used to be soooooo organised, but now I’m a frickin mess.

Everything is disorganised but I do have a filing cabinet (our slings -didn’t know they were called that- are labelled, otherwise how do you know what goes where?!🤣) and we know where important docs are (usually) though they are in a corner of the world’s most disorganised room of doom 😔

Paperwork: I struggle with knowing what to keep and for how long. I still have payslips from at least 14 years ago. 😳

I came for tips too. I’m thoroughly crap. My most deplorable trait is writing cards/wrapping parcels and then leaving them by my door ready for posting until it’s too embarrassing to send them. Why do I do this?

The problem with sorting shit out is that you are never fecking finished. And you have to keep on top of it and my family never stick
to anything I ask them to do. So
fuck it.
I used to worry about it. Now I have one drawer that has passports and birth certificates in. The rest of my house is tidy on the surface but for christ's sake don't open the drawers or cupboards.
Have stopped giving a shit since no one else who lives here cares.

Some people are just genetically disorganised, OP. I am one of them. There's no point trying to fart against thunder.