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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Telling DH off for watching inappropriate programme on TV

92 replies

Lin33 · 06/10/2019 18:09

So the story goes - I came back (2pm) with our 9yo DD after weekend activity and found my DH watching a programme on TV about stripper auditions for their job. Topples women on TV and all.
I got so mad! Took DD away to another room, got her busy with arts and crafts. And then came back and told DH off big time. AMBU? Is it ok to expose kids to such things? Am I exaggerating?

OP posts:
Original poster
Lin33 · 06/10/2019 18:20

No he wasn’t watching while she as there.

But if i was watching something inappropriate and DD came home - I would switch it off. He did not. Thats what made me mad. Not the fact he as watching it.

OP posts:
MemphisMum · 06/10/2019 18:20

telling him off??

he's an adult....

Walnutwhipster · 06/10/2019 18:21

Huge over reaction.

Nailsfordays · 06/10/2019 18:21

DD wasn’t at home though? He should’ve turned it off when you both came home but how can you have a go at him for exposing her to it when she wasn’t there watching it with him!

BertrandRussell · 06/10/2019 18:22

Yes- I misunderstood too. But it’s still inappropriate for him to be watching it whether or not the child was too.

C0untDucku1a · 06/10/2019 18:22

She wasn't home. Tell the truth, you were mad he was watching boobs.

Marshmallow91 · 06/10/2019 18:23

@BananasAreTheSourceOfEvil

"Is the issue the child seeing boobs or that your husband was looking at boobs?"

After posting, I'm wondering that myself. Her child was removed from the situation, but she went back and had a go at her husband.
Her 9 year old wasn't getting a running commentary about what the program was about, so at most she just saw a topless woman.

ltk · 06/10/2019 18:23

YANBU. Obviously you switch off the inappropriate tv while underage dc are around. He was being an idiot.

OneToThree · 06/10/2019 18:23

I’d be annoyed that he didn’t switch it off as soon as he heard we were home.

Carrie7899 · 06/10/2019 18:23

YABU

Roozy123 · 06/10/2019 18:24

He wasn't watching it with her.

If my child walked in with me and my oh was watching something about strippers and their was topless women .. I don't think I would be TOO bothered. I wouldn't want my child sitting and watching it but I wouldn't care if we walked in and it was on.. as, it's not like my dd was sitting watching it with him?

Also, my kids seeing topless women wouldn't bother me .. it's the sexual chit chat that would bother me or the sexual dancing them seeing.. personally.

Did he not turn it over when dd sat down with him?? If she did.

Marshmallow91 · 06/10/2019 18:25

OK, from the last update I'd be annoyed too OP, if my partner was watching something inappropriate and didn't turn it off when we returned home without me asking him too, I'd be pissed off too.

Icantthinkofanewname87 · 06/10/2019 18:27

YABU

Chickychoccyegg · 06/10/2019 18:28

massive overreaction from you, dd might've caught a glimpse of boob, but so what? totally different to sitting her down to watch the programme.
Also telling dh off Hmm ?

Original poster
Lin33 · 06/10/2019 18:29

Ok. Thanks everyone. I get the picture. ☺️
IABU a bit.
I still think he should have switched it off when we came home. However - I’ll have to get over this. Hopefully DD didn't see much and wont ask questions.
And if she does - i better think of a good. reply

OP posts:
TheBouquets · 06/10/2019 18:32

I would have been unhappy if he had not instantly changed channels or switched of tv as soon as he heard you come in.

BananasAreTheSourceOfEvil · 06/10/2019 18:34

I still think it would depend on context.

If I walked in and dp was watching babestation whilst Mary was giggling topless and describing taking her top off to audition for being a stripper- switch it off.

If he’s watching a genuinely interesting documentary about women who work in that industry talking about it then I can see why he might like to finish watching the documentary.

Things are what you make them. Topless women don’t offend me, because they are just boobs at the end of the day, and as the child wasn’t watching them anyway I truly fail to see the problem.

purpleolive · 06/10/2019 18:34

Adults don't need "telling off" that's going to start you off on the back foot. Grown ups discuss, argue maybe, but god help my DH if he tried to "tell me off".

HUZZAH212 · 06/10/2019 18:35

Was it the fact it was women topless in a stripper context. Or just the fact they were topless? If it had been say a documentary on Amazon tribes and the women were topless would you still freak out?

gamerwidow · 06/10/2019 18:37

And if she does - i better think of a good. reply
Just tell her the ladies were dancing round with their tops off, silly ladies i bet they got chilly.
The sexual stuff goes right over kids heads.

BertrandRussell · 06/10/2019 18:41

She’s 9, not 6. A good opportunity to tell her, in broad terms what was going on.

Drogosnextwife · 06/10/2019 18:42

She's 9! I'm not sure it will just go straight over her head Hmm

Saharafordessert · 06/10/2019 18:48

YABU more than ‘a bit’

SherbetSaucer · 06/10/2019 19:00

@Lin33 you sound fun to live with! Hmm

UpCloseAndPersonalWithGlenda · 06/10/2019 19:00

I was going to say it was probably not great for your DH to be watching topples (sic) women with DD, but then saw you and she just returned home while he was watching them.

YAB more than a bit U. As for all this "inappropriate" stuff, and "telling him off"... I'm not sure if you sound more like a schoolteacher or his mother.

Agree with PP that, if your DD asks, you just say they were women dancing around with their tops off, and that they should probably put a cardy on at this time of year.