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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think it’s mine now?

125 replies

startube · 06/10/2019 10:06

I was given a piece of furniture by a relative a few years ago. Since redecorating I decided it no longer matches and I want to buy something else in its place. Placed it up for sale and got a message from my brother asking if it has sold, and if not could he have it (for free). AIBU to think it’s mine to sell? I think he feels he has a claim to it as it came from a relative. I need the money to put towards the replacement so I am reluctant to give it to him.

OP posts:
Drum2018 · 06/10/2019 12:30

Sell it. I'm sure your brother will survive without it and he doesn't even know himself if he'll keep it.

BrokenWing · 06/10/2019 12:41

So you have a piece of furniture (say a wardrobe) you don't need/want anymore and you are planning to sell it to fund buying an electric heater?

You aren't flush and cant afford to buy the heater (not a particularly efficient way to heat your home if you are skint) without saving, so plan to sell the furniture to help raise funds.

As he doesnt really need the furniture, I would tell my dbro I desperately need the cash to heat my home and he is welcome to buy the piece of furniture (perhaps slightly reduced) if he wants it.

DobbinsVeil · 06/10/2019 12:42

Put your brother straight and sell it.

Carrie7899 · 06/10/2019 12:45

You sound really selfish. Just give it to your brother

Cherrysoup · 06/10/2019 12:46

He told you it could be sold if he no longer wanted it?! He can fuck off, the cheeky bugger! It’s yours to with as you choose, not his! Does he always tell you what to do? Is he the golden child?

FilledSoda · 06/10/2019 12:50

I wouldn't dream of asking family for cash .
You don't want or need it just pass it on .

pooopypants · 06/10/2019 12:52

Chop it up and use it for firewood. 3 birds, one stone.

But seriously, he's being cheeky if he already has some of whatever it actually is you have. And electric heaters aren't a financially efficient way to heat your home, I'd reconsider that idea OP.

LivingDeadGirlUK · 06/10/2019 12:58

Why are people now debating OP's choice of heating?! She cant afford to buy an electric heater without selling something so she isn't going to be investing in an air source heat pump is she?

Agree the responses on this thread are odd. OP he doesn't need it and you do so tell him its sold and that can be the end of it.

HeyNotInMyName · 06/10/2019 12:59

He told me if he decides that he doesn’t want it after all then I can sell it.
So he actually doesn’t really know if he needs said piece of furniture nor does he know if he likes it? And certainly doesn’t need to money from selling the furniture itself.

I might say to him that I am saving for a heater, so once I have enough money he can take the item then?
I’m not sure I get that one. Are you saying you want to give it to him once you will need the space for the heater? But as you are struggling with money, that might take a while, did I get that one right?
How much do you need the heater? As in, is it to replace one that doesn’t work well/cost a lot of money to heat or is it a case of not having any heating in that room and really struggling with the cold?
If that is the case, YADNU and should just sell the item.

SmoothLawAbider · 06/10/2019 13:02

The old "ask online instead of just talking to the other person openly and directly".

I would just say to my brother "I need the money for a replacement. If I give it to you, I won't be able to get a replacement, meaning I need to keep it, so then I can't give it to you!" and then he would say "oh ok I'll pay you for it then" or "oh right don't worry about it then".

Sorted. Honest communication among friends and family is a wonderful tool! Try it some time!

BlackCatSleeping · 06/10/2019 13:04

Thanks for clarifying. That makes a lot more sense. It’s already October and getting colder. You need a heater. Sell the furniture and buy yourself one and don’t worry about your brother or people on MN.

Drabarni · 06/10/2019 13:11

What did your brother have from the relative when you got the furniture. Offer to do a swop, then sell what he gives you for the heater.

Apolloanddaphne · 06/10/2019 13:15

If you need the heater as you are cold and selling this item is the only way to raise the funds and will also clear space for the heater, then i say sell it. I reckon you need a heating source more than your DB needs a random piece of furniture.

MrsExpo · 06/10/2019 13:18

Either give it to your brother for free, or keep it and find a way to make it fit in with your new decor. Could you paint it, for example?

Maybe you could find a suitable replacement on Freecycle or somewhere.

WrongKindOfFace · 06/10/2019 13:21

What kind of a brother would see his sibling go cold just so he could have a free piece of furniture he doesn’t need, and isn’t even sure he has room for?

Sell it and buy the heater.

Unknownanon · 06/10/2019 13:30

Sell your unwanted furniture.

Your brother doesn't need it he has many, he's being cheeky assuming that it's his for free and that he can take it, dick about for a bit deciding if he wants it then let you sell it.

You need a heater for winter. Need trumps want.

MrsEricBana · 06/10/2019 13:48

What Unknownanon said 100%

BeanBag7 · 06/10/2019 13:50

I think you should ask the relative who gave it to you. "Do you want it back or do you mind if I sell it?" just to be polite really.

SmoothLawAbider · 06/10/2019 13:53

What kind of a brother would see his sibling go cold just so he could have a free piece of furniture he doesn’t need, and isn’t even sure he has room for?

a) a really crap one
b) one whose sister asked mumsnet instead of just telling him she needs the money to buy a heater for the winter

SpaceCadet4000 · 06/10/2019 13:59

At the beginning when you said furniture I thought YABU imagining a chair or sofa or something... but since it's an electric heater YANBU unless your brother lives in a shack with no heating or insulation.

BarrenFieldofFucks · 06/10/2019 14:04

Nah, I'd just sell it now.

morrisseysquif · 06/10/2019 14:12

Could you brother give you some of the item price? That would be nice, given both your circumstances.

NearlyGranny · 06/10/2019 14:12

I love that your brother has graciously given you his permission to sell if he decides he doesn't want an extra dining table or whatever it is!

I'd tell him it's his for a donation of (amount you offered it for sale -10%) to your winter heater fund and give him a deadline. It was never given to him in the first place.

He sounds grabby and entitled; you sound as if you'd be glad to be cosy this winter!

SusieOwl4 · 06/10/2019 14:21

what sort of value are we talking here ? Personally if its not a sentimental item - it was gifted to you . its yours to do what you want with - I think I would offer to sell it to him as you need the funds but at a slightly reduced price?

littlemisssugarpuffs · 06/10/2019 14:28

I would give it away For free, surely you could sell something else you no longer need to help you raise funds

I wouldn't sell anything I got for free I would donate to charity or give away to family or friends

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