Aibu to call in sick?

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Hi I've applied for special leave to go to a funeral (cousin died suddenly aged 45) and my boss has refused my request. Wibu to call in sick? Does anyone know what would happen if I did? Would they check?
I work in a primary academy if that makes a difference and the day I'm asking for is a sort of inset - no kids at school that day.

I see you mentioned Unison, so you’re not a teacher. The full pay thing probably won’t apply then unfortunately. Unfortunately teachers have a few more rights in this area over support staff. I’d still self certify with a couple of days off for stress and anxiety. Speak to your union and keep a log of any interrractions or treatment you get. Don’t fake another illness. Cite stress and anxiety surrounding the death of a family member and additional stress caused by your job at this time. I’m really sorry for your loss. Take care of yourself x

Hi op
I'm sorry for your loss.
I wouldn't pull a sickie,it will be very obvious and cast a shadow on your integrity.
Would you really leave a job you love because of this?
Take a step back and really think this through before you take any hasty steps.
If you cannot get the time off ,you can still say your own personal farewell to your cousin.
Would they want you to leave friends,colleagues behind because you were not allowed time off?
I hope you do get granted the time,but if not,perhaps,if it is local,you might be able to leave the conference for a couple of hours to pay your respects and then return?

@LolaSmiles she can sign herself off for a few days without the need for a gp appointment, but I would recommend taking union advice.

Staff well-being is actually looked at on the new OFSTED framework. I don’t think this would fit in with this very well.

Signed off for stress? Christ

I think they are being massively unreasonable TBH! I am very close to my Cousins and would hate to miss their funeral if they died (God forbid).I would contact your union ASAP and see what they say .I dont think you would be unreasonable to call in sick ,but they will probably check and you may run the risk of losing your job .Can you risk this?

Eemamc
Yes she could self certify for the first week, but again claiming stress for not having leave approved doesn't help the very real problem of stress in the sector.

I agree the OP needs proper union advice. I don't think falsely claiming stress to get time off is the right response here.

It's sad and unfair but schools are really clamping down on this both for staff and pupils. Is the inset day for compulsory training ?

Immediate family policies are unfair, and I think a cousin should be considered immediate family.

Policies should be based on how close you are to someone not how much dna you share. I have friends that are like sisters to me and i would 100% lie and tell work they were a sister if one of them passed away and I needed time off, and would not feel bad for doing so.

I'm sympathetic but they have to draw a line somewhere. I've got thirty cousins, if the policy is extended for one person's cousin then a precedent is set for all.

I would definitely speak to your union about this. Our official policy is similar but I've never seen anyone denied leave for a funeral regardless of who it is.

Also this made me laugh:
Perhaps the new head is concerned about your track record.
Track record of what? Knowing people who have sadly died? As if the OP has any control over it. I've gone years without attending a funeral, then had 4 close family members pass in a single academic year. It was awful enough without having to worry about getting days off or people judging my 'track record' of dead family members. What an utterly bizarre comment.

As ever, threads like this remind us that there are some unpleasant jobsworths out there - and I don't just mean your bastard of a Head.

A cousin is pushing it? WTF have I just read? 🤯 I’m closer to my 2 cousins and aunt than I am to my parents and siblings(I’m in fact NC with them all) but I’d get leave for their funerals but not the people I actually have a relationship because of dna? No chance. I would be going and would just deal with the disciplinary issue after the fact

Special leave is for immediate family. There has to be boundaries to special leave because people DO take advantage. It's discretionary not a human right. Whether you are closer to your great cousin's best friend's neighbour than your sister is irrelevant. It is what it is and it isn't an excuse to be signed off for stress or getting the union rep involved. How laughable!

If you’re going to go to the funeral I’d go anyway and be honest rather than lying.

Sorry your work were shit and about your cousin. Some employers have zero compassion.

@mummybears surely as adults we are able to decide and attend whatever funerals we feel right? Our employers are not gods to decide who we mourn for an how. People can't really take the piss with things like this to any real extent can they? I mean you're hardly likely to find a funeral once a month to attend no how far far reaching your term of important people ranges.

The people that take the piss are more likely the people call in sick after two sneezes!

@mummybares sorry!

Whether you are closer to your great cousin's best friend's neighbour than your sister is irrelevant.

I totally disagree with you there, I think it's completely relevant. Not being 'allowed' to attend the funeral of someone you were very close to because they aren't immediate family is awful. Yes there has to be a boundary, but a one-size-fits-all, immediate-family-only boundary isn't a reasonable one imo.

I don’t say this lightly, but I would suggest getting signed off for stress

I think that's appaling advice. Its totally making a mockery of people who are actually struggling with stress. I'd be surprised if a GP signed someone off just because they're not getting time off for a funeral

@Eemamc thank you for your advice and kind words. I am so torn as to what to do! I dont want to call in sick as that would mean I get paid and that feels wrong after I've asked for the day unpaid. I guess I'll just have to wait and see what unison say

I would just go and say to them beforehand that you think it is unreasonable of them not to allow you to go. It's your cousin and you want to go to the funeral. Life is too short to put work first especially when it's a family thing

Sorry about your cousin, Yanbu op. As you say it's not exactly a fun day out, your boss is BU imo

I'm 37 and have been to 5 funerals in the last 3 years. People can't help when they die

They can't prove you aren't ill, seeing as it is stressful...

I dont agree with the coke family rule as pp said you may not see your mum/dad/sibling but be very close to a friend or cousin. Someone I know recently had a few weeks off work due to the sudden death of a friend that affected her badly. She couldn't work because she kept crying etc

Oh and I'm not planning on quitting. Its just that I have realised that I cant continue to work in this place. This isnt the first thing that's happened, more like the straw that broke the camels back. I intend to look for another job.

Wibu to call in sick? Does anyone know what would happen if I did? Would they check?
Depends on your school policy. If you phoned in sick for a day you were denied leave for at my work you would have to produce a sick certificate for that day to prove you were genuinely sick.
Definitely check with your union but I think it would be more sensible to appeal the original decision.

Posted too soon!
Look for another job in the near future.