To have expected DH to stay in contact while he's away?

[JustWannabeCaredAbout]

DH has gone away for a long weekend to visit family abroad.

I am quite peeved about this as I never get to go off on my own for a weekend (4 DC, 1 with SN). I got up in the middle of the night to drive him to the airport as he didn't want to pay for parking getting back at 5am and then having to do school runs which included an hours round trip to DC3's specialist provision twice so had a pretty tough day.

He called me quickly in the afternoon to let me know he was there but got cut off due to bad reception. I hoped he'd call me later to say Goodnight but he didn't.

I expected him to call me to check in this morning, just a quick call. He knows I struggle being on my own at night as I have an anxiety disorder and him being away overnight is a trigger. DC are not small but hard work and stressful.

He didn't contact me at all. I called him at 3 pm then tried again at 7pm but no answer. DD messaged him at 8 pm saying I was pissed off so he called then saying he was tired after the travelling yesterday (as if I wasn't, it was a 3 hour flight he could sleep on), got up late this morning then went out.

I hung up on him.

WIBU to be pissed off then he obviously doesn't give a shiny shit about me. We have had ongoing issues about his lack of affection and emotional attachment to me which we have talked about on many previous occasions. I just want to feel like I'm important to someone. We had over 2 years of no intimacy as at all but started to get back on track earlier this year(married for 26 years).

Is it 'needy' expecting a quick call or text saying 'good morning'?

Isn't it likely that he fired up the app to check if you'd sent any messages? As you hadn't, there was presumably nothing to report, he answered the message he did have and was done?

I think you could be reading more into his using the app than there is to it.

However, I'd be expecting somebody to book a taxi rather than get someone else out of bed to drop me off - but if I'd got a hard time over contacting them/not contacting them to the extent of being blocked, I have to concede that I'd be wondering whether it was worth asking if I could stay for longer.

You are doing too much, you need to ask him to help.

My OH goes away for months with work and is not contactable at all. I accept this is not the norm but it’s my norm so I am pretty self sufficient, which I think it’s important to be.

Isn't it financial abuse if there is cash for him but none for you op?
He can pay for a taxi back imo.

Not enquiring about your dw /dc while you are away is crappy.
Or is it just his family he is seeing that matter?

He needs to make his own way back from the airport. Selfish twat.

You may gently want to ask yourself what you’re getting out of this relationship, if anything, and what the next step might be.

I don't think you're being unreasonable at all. It's a common theme on here, threads like this will always end up with people telling you that you're hard work, needy, overly anxious etc.

FWIW I completely agree that given the situation with your son and that he sleeps badly and had additional needs, that he should at least have the courtesy to ask if you're ok.

Why didn't he? Because he's not thinking about you, he's on holiday having a lovely time. He's selfish, end of.