AIBU to feel fed about about money this evening?

[UndertheCedartree]

Background: I'm unwell at the moment so not able to work and it will be like this for the forseeable future. I am on benefits but not getting the full amount I should get so therefore money is very, very tight.

My DD has yet another birthday party tomorrow. I only find out about it on Thurs and not been able to go into town so just had to get something from the corner shop. I could only afford £3 so just got 3 bags of sweets/chocolates. Despite the fact I know none of the mums/kids will look down on it - I still feel guilty getting such a cheap present as at my DDs party much, much more than that was spent on all her presents (her school is in an affluent area). I just feel fed up as I'd love to let my DD choose a lovely present rather than having to always get the cheapest option. On top of that I also feel guilty that I was only able to buy a cheap packet of biscuits for my children as snacks for today and tomorrow. My eldest is 12 and has quite a big appetite now and I'm struggling to afford enough food for him. I just feel incredibly down and hopeless about everything right now

I can guarantee you that will be one of birthday child’s favourite presents! Don’t give it another thought.

please don’t feel too hopeless. Things will look up.

Haven't you got anything you could sell on Ebay? Outgrown clothes and toys? Could you make anything to sell?

Sweets are always a welcome treat. I hope you feel better soon.

single

God i hate it when people give that advice. Sell stuff on ebay. A lot of people dont have anything to sell and usually it doesnt go for as much as its worth. Not only that but it might not even sell and you don't get the money instantly.

op please dont feel bad about the present. The child will love it (so would i as a 24yo!)

I do understand what you mean though. Is the benefit issue likely to get sorted?

Don't feel bad OP, this happens.

On a side note regarding your son, have you got a food bank near you? If you're struggling, don't be afraid to ask for help.

Why are you not getting full benefits? Can CAB assist you? Can you get a food bank referral if you are struggling?

YANBU to find it demoralising. However, I am sure you are doing the best you can.

Just trying to be helpful holiday. We all have stuff around that's not used any more. Sorry you don't approve.

I hear you op, it’s shit.
My situation is similar in that I’m not in good health and my 16yr old went from high rate DLA for asd to zero points on PIP and everything has stopped.
Am appealing it but stats aren’t good.

What has got me through these last few weeks is thinking that things can only get better, have been trying out positive thinking/gratitude on YouTube as nothing to lose and my general outlook has improved.

Still doesn’t help in situations like yours over the party I know. I know if things get really bad for us then I will not hesitate to ask for food bank help but that’s the last resort for me. Ds just started 6th form college and it’s constant requests for money and he also eats like a horse!

I have got some bits I can sell so am doing that and also been shopping exclusively in Lidl. I hope things improve for you. They have to don’t they!!

Sorry to hear this

All I can say about the benefits is it is Universal Credit and it has been an utter nightmare. I have been attempting to claim for 2 years believe it or not and it is still not sorted. I spend time almost every week trying to move it forward and it's bloody exhausting. I have a social worker or advocate at the hospital (I'm an inpatient Sun eve - Thurs afternoon) who helps me with phone calls/forms.

Ebay is not really a possibility right now. I don't really have anything to sell nor the energy that goes into doing that.

I'm not able to collect from the Food bank myself as in hospital. A friend was collecting for me but has not been able to do so recently. I've asked the children's services about help like shopping vouchers but it's always a case of someone will phone me back but they never do. I will try and chase this up on Monday, though.

Hi op...I am really good at food shopping on a budget and have a greedy 11 year old ds to feed so know what it's like!...what do you have to spend on food per week? I might be able to share my tips and ideas with you!

OP, will DWP allow you to earn money without it affecting your benefits?

The reason I ask is because below is a really good thread for earning a bit of extra money, giftcards to supermarkets, Amazon, etc working from home occasionally.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/legal_money_matters/3705917-let-s-top-up-our-bank-balances-for-christmas-it-s-the-october-earn-10-a-day-thread

Check it out.

@zoflorabore - that sounds a very difficult situation. Thanks for the advice.

@formerbabe - I have £20 - £30 for food Thurs dinner to Sunday lunch. Any ideas appeciated.
@lifeisabeach09 - I have no idea about the benefits, really but will have a look at the link thanks

This is the September £10 a day thread. It has got all the websites listed and what they are.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/legal_money_matters/3680934-september-earn-10-a-day-thread

The October thread doesn't have them listed.

OP, sorry that you are having a bad time. I agree that the sweets will be one of the favourite presents at the party.
Can you encourage your DS to get a job on Saturday and Sundays if he hasn't got one already? I had a weekend job from 14 years old and earned my own pocket money and enough for clothes. I made new friends and it increased my confidence and common sense too. Now is a good time for him to try, as shops and restaurants take on extra Christmas staff.
Hope things turn around for you really soon!

Big block of value cheddar
Potatoes
Baked beans
Pasta
Can of tuna
Loaf of bread
Can of chopped tomatoes
Eggs

Cheapest value products you can get....I don't know where you shop but i can get that much for less than £6 in lidl.

Use pasta, tuna, chopped tomatoes and cheese to make a tuna pasta bake

Jacket potatoes with cheese or beans

Cheese or beans on toast

Omelette

Eggs on toast

Not very exciting but will get you through

My battery is running low so will post some more ideas later

OP, I think earning money will affect your benefit income so I suggest you use the sites for giftcards and vouchers to help with groceries and Christmas.

Rice pudding is a good treat filler for DC. Tesco’s cheapest tin is 20p for a 400g tin.

In-between meals my ds often snacks on cream crackers (40p a pack for own brand ones) carrot batons (bag of carrots about 50p). Both last a while.

Carbonara is a cheap meal..

Value spaghetti
Bacon
Egg
Any cheese you have
Chuck in some frozen peas if you have any

cheese & beans (boring suggestion but hey ho!) jacket pots, eggs your friend! they can be scrambled, made into savoury or sweet pancakes, omelettes, fried eggs or boiled eggs. My dear grandma use to say: fried eggs & chips (or wedge pots or mashed pots) with beans was an instant meal, Carrots onions peas pots are the best cheap veg with cabbage (which can be made into coleslaw) tinned toms/passata with onions & capsicum & grated carrots mixed with half a pound of mince can make bolognaise (pasta is always good) or lasagne. Cheese sauce for macaroni cheese (dd taught me easy way to make this: put cold milk in saucepan add marg & flour & mix slowly whilst slowly heating (you can add half a teaspoon mixed sweet spice or dash of mustard plus finely chopped half onion) when thick just add grated cheese & place it with macaroni into oven dish (this sauce can be used for lasagne) Meatloaf recipes add a slice of fresh bread crumbs to mince with onions & guess what! grated carrots, home made pizzas using scone recipes. Porridge for breakfast perhaps with jam to encourage them. (can be used for filling supper too)

Tuna mayo is also brilliant on jacket potato. So is leftover chilli or curry - carbs, fat and protein will keep a growing boy full for a good long while.

Could you get your dd to make an invitation to a play date and stick it in the card? Sorry if that’s not possible.