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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

About Inheritance

447 replies

Sunshinelollipops1 · 05/10/2019 12:59

4 siblings A, B, C and D. 3 eldest are in their 50s. Youngest was “a happy accident” and is in 30s.

After D was born the Mum of the family developed serious illness and A who had just finished university came Home and basically brought up A and looked after Mum while the Dad worked. A has spent her entire life as Carer for Mum who died 5 years ago. A couple of years after this Dad became ill. A cared for him and he has now died.

Only real asset is House. Worth about 500k. Will says divide by 4.

B and C have good jobs (probably 50-60k per annum), houses and families. C has a huge mortgage as they have pulled out equity to fund holidays, cars etc. Both have kids in their 20s.

D is a professional and earns 150k. Married and young children.

2 bed flat in area of House will cost 350k (SE). D says A should get enough of will to buy flat and rest can be split between 3. (This means B, C and D will get about 40k each rather then 125k).

B says while he would like to do that he needs to help his kids on property ladder and that 40k won’t be sufficient (3 kids).

C says the will is clear and should be shared equally. He also adds D is only suggesting this as they will end up sole beneficiary of As will (A and D being incredibly close).

D has offered to give B and C their proportion of money so they would get 60k each. Both have said no.

A doesn’t want anyone to fall out, says the money should be shared in 4 and says it’s fine, they’ll find work and use the equity as rent (they won’t get mortgage).

D thinks B and C are being selfish. C thinks D is (and ultimately doing this to get all the money).

Who is AIBU and what should be done?

OP posts:
usernamerisnotavailable · 06/10/2019 08:04

Simple solution is that A and D buy a flat together. A can live there and D has an investment.

catspyjamas123 · 06/10/2019 09:17

A can also move to a cheaper part of the SE - with a small mortgage she can have a one bedroom flat no problem.

ispepsiokay · 06/10/2019 09:27

Could A live in the house and eventually raise capital to be able to buy the other 3 out?

diddl · 06/10/2019 09:45

Even if A was left everything, she'd still be looking at having to support herself I would have thought.

Hesafriendfromwork · 06/10/2019 09:54

Could A live in the house and eventually raise capital to be able to buy the other 3 out?
How? In her 50s, never having worked? Cant get a mortgage? She wouldnt even have chance to do that.

Besides which, op has never said A whata to live in the house. How would she maintain it and pay things like council tax and utilities? How will she pay for things need fixing? Boiler? Electrics?

A wants the money splitting 4 ways.

AnotherEmma · 06/10/2019 10:43

"Could A live in the house and eventually raise capital to be able to buy the other 3 out?"

On what planet could a woman in her 50s who has never worked "raise" £375k?

The only way you'd manage it in those circumstances is if you got an inheritance or won the lottery.

Mosaic123 · 06/10/2019 11:12

If A lived in the house she could have lodgers for an income. BC and D could still own a portion of the house.

AnotherEmma · 06/10/2019 11:36

It would be no use to B and C, though, if they want the capital to help their children get on the housing ladder (which is understandable).

callmeadoctor · 06/10/2019 13:32

Well as A is now 50, probably that her seriously ill mother and baby sister needed someone to look after them. Also assuming the father did this instead of earning, then they would probably would have become homeless. Also women back then would have had not a great earning potential anyway and would have been expected to give up their careers if they got married so it would have made alot of sense to give up your career. A was just in a very unlucky situation Whoever put this on!!!!!!!!!!!!! 30 years ago was 1990!!!!!! I think you are thinking of the 1950s!!!!!!!!

FelicisNox · 06/10/2019 17:50

If the will states it is to be split between 4 then that is what should happen.

Everything else is circumstance and has no bearing on the will.

Shell4429 · 06/10/2019 17:58

There won’t be enough for A to buy property but they will be able to buy a shared ownership. I don’t think the will should be opposed. I got a third of my dad’s property - a measly amount. Even though he is living with me and my youngest brother has been to see him about six times in three years.

fib88 · 06/10/2019 18:02

I think A should be allowed to stay in the house as she gave up her life prospects and youth to look after B,C & D... being a carer is the hardest and most stressful job going. If B and C were decent siblings they should be grateful for their sisters time and energy looking after their parents. If they’d (parents) had gone into care homes than nothing’s would be left by now anyway. Sick to death if greedy siblings who do nothing but expect everything!

TrixieMixie · 06/10/2019 18:35

Do what the will says. All four are equally the children of the parents and personal circumstances are not relevant.
However, that doesn’t stop anyone behaving decently and acknowledging A’s sacrifices and the caring she has done.
D can give A their share if they wish. A can leave D or D’s kids her entire estate so D’s family will have their generosity returned.

gill1960 · 06/10/2019 18:41

The will was wrong and didn't look after d who stayed home unpaid as a carer

1forAll74 · 06/10/2019 18:46

The will stated that everything should be shared equally,and so that should be the case full stop. It should matter not,what peoples financial situations are now.

Bubble2019 · 06/10/2019 18:54

The will clearly states the money is to be shared equally between the 4. Every family has siblings in different situations to the others. It’s outrageous to disrespect the wishes of someone who has passed. The siblings should be grateful to reactive anything at all. It’s a privilege not a right!

BatshitBertha · 06/10/2019 19:06

Will should've followed, it's the parents' wishes.

A & D can use their inheritance to buy a flat for A to live in that D can inherit if they wish.

It's not fair at all to expect B & C to forfeit part of their inheritances and effectively cut the grandchildren out if the will (also wrong because it's not what parents wanted in their will)

Tennesseewhiskey · 06/10/2019 19:13

I think A should be allowed to stay in the house as she gave up her life prospects and youth to look after B,C & D... being a carer is the hardest and most stressful job going. If B and C were decent siblings they should be grateful for their sisters time and energy looking after their parents. If they’d (parents) had gone into care homes than nothing’s would be left by now anyway. Sick to death if greedy siblings who do nothing but expect everything!

Have you even read the thread? Or the OP?

A, as far as OP says, doesnt want to live in the house. She wants to split the money.

She didnt bring up b,c and d. She apparently brought up d. Op tried to make out that A provided C with lots of free childcare, but that turned out to be misleading. As C kids are in their 20s.

AND the inheritence would not have been eaten by care fees. It could not be sold to fund the mother care, as the father was still living. The father need care for the last couple of years. So even if it had have been sold and used for care fees, it wouldnt all be gone.

And while A was a carer for her father, that doesnt mean that he needed round the clock care in a home. Theres a huge leap being made, saying A saved the house from being sold.

TommyJoesMummy · 06/10/2019 19:19

It gets more and more complicated as you try to see who is ‘right’, so I’d leave that for a later discussion.
Why don’t A and D keep their half of the house and buy out B and C with a joint mortgage? Should kill all arguments about gaining from future inheritance and A needn’t move at all?
I would probably make my comments as the years go by on how the parents/brothers treated it, or the decisions of the sisters in previous circumstances

veryverytiredmummy · 06/10/2019 19:55

Not read full thread but if B and C are concerned about losing inheritance longer term they could buy a property (probably in a cheaper area than suggested) together and sort out what happens upon the death of each of them in the purchase deed.

It could be in differing amounts to allow C's children also to have somewhere to live.

Yes legally the will is the will but family is also family and it's probably the case that the parents didn't think about A's position when they made it. Especially if it predated either of them becoming ill.

WalnutToast · 06/10/2019 19:57

Actually I think people who are dependent have rights of inheritance under the law, regardless of what the will says. A and D could explore this if they have not done so already as maybe the will can be challenged. (Apologies if this has been raised earlier.)

The situation seems to me grotesquely unfair to A. If they were decent people B and C would surely agree to change the distribution in her favour – this would be the kind of situation deed of variation could and should be used to address.

Jboure · 06/10/2019 20:00

The will should be split by 4. D and A can buy an apartment with their share and A can live there for her lifetime with the understanding she leaves her share to D in her will.

Hesafriendfromwork · 06/10/2019 20:00

A wants the money to be split 4 ways.

It seems that A is having her needs dictated by D.

areyoubeingserviced · 06/10/2019 20:02

The will said it the proceeds should be shared equally. That is what should be done. C and B are not under any obligation to give their share to A.

Jaxhog · 06/10/2019 20:06

Does A have any 'lodger rights' or was she a financial dependent of her parents? If so, it may not be possible to sell the house until A has passed on.

Otherwise , legally, the inheritance has to be split 4 ways as per the will. D (and C) can then choose to give their share to A.