About Inheritance

[Sunshinelollipops1]

4 siblings A, B, C and D. 3 eldest are in their 50s. Youngest was “a happy accident” and is in 30s.

After D was born the Mum of the family developed serious illness and A who had just finished university came Home and basically brought up A and looked after Mum while the Dad worked. A has spent her entire life as Carer for Mum who died 5 years ago. A couple of years after this Dad became ill. A cared for him and he has now died.

Only real asset is House. Worth about 500k. Will says divide by 4.

B and C have good jobs (probably 50-60k per annum), houses and families. C has a huge mortgage as they have pulled out equity to fund holidays, cars etc. Both have kids in their 20s.

D is a professional and earns 150k. Married and young children.

2 bed flat in area of House will cost 350k (SE). D says A should get enough of will to buy flat and rest can be split between 3. (This means B, C and D will get about 40k each rather then 125k).

B says while he would like to do that he needs to help his kids on property ladder and that 40k won’t be sufficient (3 kids).

C says the will is clear and should be shared equally. He also adds D is only suggesting this as they will end up sole beneficiary of As will (A and D being incredibly close).

D has offered to give B and C their proportion of money so they would get 60k each. Both have said no.

A doesn’t want anyone to fall out, says the money should be shared in 4 and says it’s fine, they’ll find work and use the equity as rent (they won’t get mortgage).

D thinks B and C are being selfish. C thinks D is (and ultimately doing this to get all the money).

Who is AIBU and what should be done?

A made their own decisions.
Mum and Dad has the opportunity to redress that and didn’t.
D can give her share to A if she wants.

D is morally kind to suggest it up B & C, but morally wrong if it goes beyond a suggestion and into pressure once rejected.

What the will says of course

Follow the will, split by 4.

A does not want bad feeling.

D can then choose to help out A with their portion of the inheritance, if they wish. Or help to fund a mortgage by being joint owner with A using their higher earning power.

B & C are never going to view this differently so leave them out of it and follow will.

Who is AIBU and what should be done?
Anyone who doesn’t want to follow the will ibu.
Are you a?

A was unreasonable to not begin her career after uni.
A should have sorted her long term needs out, so she was not far behind the other siblings.
I can see how A & D are closer due to shared history and D if so inclined could gift her some additional funds.
But, home ownership involves upkeep and maintenance. She will still need to be working, and gifts of money may end up affecting government support she may be entitled to.

But in fairness they chose to do this, knowing they were limiting their own earning potential.

I'm not sure "choice" came into it. A had just finished university when their mother developed a serious illness after the birth of D. There would have been quite a gap between the ages of the first child and the youngest child. A would have been the only adult child at the time and probably felt obliged to be the carer.

I had my education cut short by my parents and ended up looking after my baby sister. It was definitely not my choice and it curtailed my career options hugely but that was how it was.

I'm not sorry that I cared for my little sister. We are very close and there is no doubt in her mind, of mine, that our mother was unable to care for her as I was able to.

However, "choice" would have been a fine thing.

If d feels so strongly, they should just give their share to a. 250k deposit on a 350k flat is a darn good start. Even on a fairly low income they should be able to get a mortgage with that kind of deposit.

A should get more, the parents should have recognised that. Shame her siblings don't.

Theres no way of knowing they should have more.

While A has cared for the parents, they may have done so because they just didnt want to work or did so because ot worked better for them. A has benefited from never having to pay rent or a mortgage.

I remember my dad sister cared for my grandfather. Until she found out he woildnt change his will and leave everything to her. Then she moved him into a home.

I am not saying A is this type. But saying they automatically deserve more, isnt something anyone can say. Without knowing the individuals.

And D stands to get it all, so it doesnt seem like they are doing it for selfless purposes. D wants A to buy a property not rent. It's not coincidence that D will inherit the house. D will get enough to supplement As portion.

Interesting nearly everyone saying morally (legally is another issue) that will should be followed

It is both morally and legally correct IMO.
To me, there is no grey area - it is the deceased’s estate and they choose what to do with it.
If siblings want to help out other siblings once the money is theirs then fine.

The parents wanted their assets to be split equally between A B C and D; that's stated in the will, so that's what should happen. It is up to each individual to decide what they want to do with their share, and nobody else needs to know what they decide.

Not sure that I'd be happy to be funding a 2 bed flat fir a single person from my inheritance. Making sure they were able to have somewhere safe and secure to live, yes, but a studio/1 bed would surely be fine.

I would imagine As share plus D's share (since D seems happy to forgo his inheritance to help A) would be enough to provide suitable accommodation. It would be nice if B&C also chipped in in recognition of As help over the years, but maybe to a smaller financial level.

Oh and D earns enough to help A get a mortgage, if they really felt that's the right thing to do.

You do as the will says. If D so wishes then they can give their share to A to purchase a property and A can then leave that property to D in their will.

Pay out exactly what the Will says then if others choose to give the others money that’s up to them

250k deposit on a 350k flat is a darn good start. Even on a fairly low income they should be able to get a mortgage with that kind of deposit.

Plus the fact that D earms 150k. They could help with the 100k amount of money.

I was my mum's executor when she died.
My understanding is that the executor has to follow the terms of the will, i.e. split it 4 ways.

If D wants to give money to A, that's up to them to do out of their own share.

But A and D can't decide what happens to the money that the will says should go to B and C - that is theirs.

This all goes to show that families need to be open about wills etc.
Maybe if someone had had a conversation with the father to explain that A would be left short after giving up so many years to look after both parents, the father could have made that decision.
However his will says to share equally between all 4.

all those people saying legally they must follow the will

• if all beneficiaries agree you can change a will. It's called a Deed of Variation.

However, that's irrelevant because 2 of the beneficiaries don't agree. That being so there is not much D can do other than help A as much as possible. Take them on holiday, invite them for Christmas, buy expensive useful presents, maybe pass on an older car...

And if A does end up leaving D everything, split it equally between the nephews and nieces

Ok so I’m actually D’s friend in this post. She doesn’t have an account.

A is a woman. B and C are men. D is a woman (Consultant Doctor).

She is really upset by the whole situation. She feels her brother’s have quite happily left all the care of her parents to predominantly A and to a far lesser extent her. They never came to any appointments etc. She feels A has given up her whole life and has really nothing to show for it. She feels B and C never challenged their Father (who sounds a misogynist) that he should have stepped up and let A have a life, nor did they offer to help/share the care. They both moved away at 18 and were never expected to come back and help.

But her brothers (well c mostly) are very much she’s selfish and after all the money. D has said she’s happy for the purchased flat to be left for their kids in any will, she really just wants to see her sister looked after.

Legally there is nothing A can do Ive explained.

I’ve shown her this thread. I think we are both a bit surprised that everyone felt she was in the wrong.

Her plan now is to give her sister her entire share and look into become a guarantor on a mortgage so her sister can buy a flat. Regarding moving away she feels this wouldn’t be best for her sister. She has a few friends in area and D feels it would be too much to make her leave the limited friendship she has given she has no partner/children etc.

The will should be upheld and split four ways, especially as A says she will be fine and won't end up destitute.

D need some to stop telling other people what they should do with their inheritance, and if she wants to help A financially then she is free to do so.

Well if the will says split four ways, you split four ways, equally. Your parents, as mentioned by a pp, could have addressed the work time and effort that your eldest sibling put in, but they didn’t. Little to be done now.

You have to follow the instructions in the will.

If D (or any of the other siblings) then want to contribute some of their share to A, that is up to them.

I don't even like my sister much, but if I was B, C or D I couldn't take my share in this situation.

I think it's extremely unfortunate that the parents didn't address this issue in their will. They may have been attempting fairness and to keep the peace, but in the process they've thrown A under the bus. Really sad situation.

Split 4 ways as the will specifies, D gives A their share, giving A £250k and A gets a mortgage on the remaining £100k on a £350k flat.

B & C are mean. If it wasn't for A, they'd be getting £6k apiece, because the rest would have gone on care home fees. But the will is clear and I doubt if it can be challenged.

As D has a good income, could they (for example) afford a property with an annexe that A could live in?

Poor A is in an awful position. Piss-poor earning potential, having never worked, sod-all pension to look forward to and won't be entitled to anything in benefits because they will have capital over £16k.

Is it possible that A could move to a cheaper area where they could get a flat for, say, £100k? Alternatively, A could use their inheritance to buy a share in a shared ownership property. They would then be entitled to universal credit to help with the rent & service charges on the rented portion.

Of course, it would be lovely if D felt able to help A out by gifting D their inheritance so that they could buy something suitable nearer the area where they have lived all their life. Even if B&C stumped up £25k apiece towards it, that would be a tangible ackowledgment that A has sacrificed their financial security for the benefit of DM and A's siblings.

I really think B & C are shits though. Especially C, who (by the sound of it) has spunked their inheritance in advance.

Mumsnet tends to be very black and white on many things, but especially wills IME. I think both A and D sound like pretty fantastic people.