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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be furious about in-laws not using car seat!!!

73 replies

Rawrwoof90 · 04/10/2019 13:14

I have recently found out 2 of my in-laws have not put my child (who is 5) in a car seat when they have been in the car.

Both of these in-laws have car seats but have chosen not to use them.

As soon as I found out I absolutely flipped and their excuses were -

“It’s only round the corner”
“I didn’t know she needed one, she’s not a baby” - why would we buy you a car seat for her then?!

Surely most people know kids have to be in car seats?!

OP posts:

KatnissMellark · 04/10/2019 13:15

Idiots.

FizzyGreenWater · 04/10/2019 13:17

No more lifts - ever.

Billballbaggins · 04/10/2019 13:19

Well of course YANBU and you know that. I wouldn’t be allowing them to look after my child in my absence. Car seats have been a standard legal requirement for years now and you’ve said they do have access to car seats so there is no excuse.

PhilomenaButterfly · 04/10/2019 13:19

I'm completely gobsmacked. They wouldn't be taking my DC in the car ever again.

PhilomenaButterfly · 04/10/2019 13:20

Also, who the fuck voted YABU?!

Elpheba · 04/10/2019 13:20

YANBU and I’d not let them drive your DC anywhere again

FizzyIce · 04/10/2019 13:20

My dh did this once with my 7 year old ,again he said “it was just round the corner “ and yes it literally was but I went apeshit .
I’d say no more until you stop putting my kid in danger

Mintjulia · 04/10/2019 13:23

My dc wouldn’t be travelling with them again ever.

What they are saying is they are happy to risk your child’s life to save them less than a minute. Beyond comprehension !

Miskate · 04/10/2019 13:24

We bought furniture in IKEA that didn't fit into our car without some of the seats being tipped forward, so my husband suggested we drive home with my two year old strapped in his seat, but the five year old on my lap.

He could not understand why I COMPLETELY refused! YANBU! You gave them seats for a reason. Tell them they are not allowed to drive your child ever again unless they swear to use the seats. Also your child will totally grass them up, so ask her in future if her seat was used.

Ridiculous.

stucknoue · 04/10/2019 13:24

The law changed 12 or so years ago but I still see parents let alone grandparents not using them, worst thing recently was 8 or 9 people out of a small car so the kids were on laps - partly cultural around here because cramming people in is normal and car seats / seatbelts aren't the norm everywhere. My kids school tried to educate but the teachers can't patrol school pick up

CuriousaboutSamphire · 04/10/2019 13:27

You bought them a car seat to use with her and they didn't use it cos they didn't know she needed to use one?

However inconvenient it is for you they NEVER EVER get to have her in their car without you present.

And tell them, apart from her safety there is a £100 fixed penalty notice for not using the bloody things. They couldn't claim ignorance or a short trip if they got fined?

MulticolourMophead · 04/10/2019 13:30

“It’s only round the corner”

The number of accidents happening within a mile of the house is estimated to be 1 in 3. And these idiots have a car seat. It's been a legal requirement since 2006, so quite a while. These people are twats.

KUGA · 04/10/2019 13:31

FizzyGrrenWater is spot on.

SmellbowSmellbow123 · 04/10/2019 13:32

What kind of car seat do you put your 5 yr old in? I ask because I also have 5 yr old and she uses a high backed booster.

GracefulHare · 04/10/2019 13:33

My mil used to think my dd would be perfectly safe sitting on her knee in the back seat because she could hold onto dd if there was an accident. She was serious. I was labelled over fussy for refusing to let dd go in the car without a seat. YANBU, what's the matter with some of these grandparents! My fil used to think it was fine to have a few drinks as long as you were only driving locally Neither had any idea of what could happen due to their stupid choices.

DCOkeford · 04/10/2019 13:34

YANBU, but the law does say that a DC over 3 doesn't need a car seat if the journey is short, necessary and unexpected.

I'd also be furious, but after 3, its not the same legal requirement as it is before that age.

Patchworksack · 04/10/2019 13:39

smellbow a high back booster is a car seat. Presumably the OP has either supplied or checked the grandparents have available the right seat for the height/weight of the child. I would be furious. We found out our ex-childminder had done this once - my child never went back and we reported her to OFSTED. Why would you take the risk for 2 mins work to fit the seat correctly?

Patchworksack · 04/10/2019 13:44

The exemption for 3-12yr olds is only for short emergency or unplanned journeys where a seat is not available - it does not apply to lazy arse grandparents who can't be bothered to fit a seat they already have.

Instatwat · 04/10/2019 13:45

They wouldn’t be getting to supervise my children again until they apologised and seemed to understand why they got it so badly wrong.

If they think it’s ok to do this, which other corners are they cutting on safety?

Namenic · 04/10/2019 13:47

I think just try and let this go. Emphasise that this is something you care a lot about and is non-negotiable (ie otherwise they won’t look after the kids alone). Culturally some people didn’t grow up with seatbelts so don’t see why it is such a big issue - my family didn’t see why I was so fussy but respected my wishes.

Jellybeansincognito · 04/10/2019 13:50

Stop leaving your car with them, they cannot be trusted.

Going around the corner with no car seat is dangerous- all it takes is one drunk driver and a case of being in the wrong place at the wrong time for your child to be catapulted into the road from their seat.

It’s unforgivable and they’d no longer be allowed unsupervised contact.

Jellybeansincognito · 04/10/2019 13:51

Stop leaving your child with them’

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 04/10/2019 13:52

Good grief! I grew up in the days before seatbelts - I remember sitting on the edge of the back seat so my sister could lie down and sleep, and what a Big Thing it was when compulsory seatbelts were introduced - car seats were not even dreamt of, when I was a child - and I still know that car seats are a vital piece of safety equipment!! Your ILs have NO excuse, @Rawrwoof90.

blackcat86 · 04/10/2019 13:53

No more unsupervised access to your DC ever. They dont care what you think or what you ask and probably had a good little laugh about how fussy you as they put your children in the car without the right seat. Awful people.

ChicCroissant · 04/10/2019 13:54

Do these in-laws do free childcare for you OP? Not that it is an excuse not to use a car seat but I notice there is no mention of them not taking the children in the car in the future?

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