DP friend saying I should be waiting on him hand and foot, AIBU?

[Tyarami]

DP recently lost his job and is looking for a new one, he has a friend locally who pops in for a cuppa once or twice a week.

Every time he's here since he's saying to me "I hope you're looking after him now he's at home, making him breakfast in bed every day and running his baths" amongst other things implying I should be waiting on him hand and foot. I have two kids to wait on, thank you very much.

He'll repeat more of the same at least another two times per visit.

Obviously it is said in jest but I'm getting annoyed about it. It's every single time.

I laughed it off the first two times but it's getting bloody annoying. He was here last night, yet again saying the same, I just looked at him with a poker face and sighed. I'm starting to dread him coming round.

Am I being an unreasonable grumpy cow or would you get annoyed by this?

Mutter “not this shit again, can’t you give it a rest”

Ask if he is ok, you are worried he's forgetting how many times he repeats himself. Perhaps suggest he sees his GP.

Less tinkly little laughs, more hollow fog-horned cackling I say. Throw your head back, let it all out. For 10 seconds longer than is comfortable.
See if the fucker ever calls round again.

Look do you realise you day that SEVERAL times every time you come over and it wasn't even funny the first time? (no tinkly laugh)

I hope this is a joke! Not a very good one, either.

I would either say 'you've repeated this joke lots of times; haven't you any better jokes?' or just very pointedly ignore him and change the subject every time he tries this joke. Or you could say once, 'No, he's a competent adult, and I'm his wife, not his carer!' (which implies that he's insulting your dp as well as yourself - which he is!) and then do the repeated ignoring bit if the man continues. And try to see him as little as possible.

Turn it round on him "why do you keep saying that?" Make him answer. Take it all very seriously. "Oh, right, well it doesn't work like that in this house" then wander off. Don't make light of it.

Obviously it is said in jest but I'm getting annoyed about it. It's every single time.

Say "Yeah, you say that every time you come round. It's boring. If you can't think of anything else to say to me, don't say anything at all."

”It's the mumsnet law that at least one piece of advice on any thread on mumsnet should contain the advice to do a tinkly laugh”

Is there a rota, @Coffeeandchocolate9 - have I forgotten to sign up?

I’d be very tempted to pre-empt this ‘joke’ the next time he visits:

“Hello Hubert. No, I am not waiting on DH hand and foot, bringing him breakfast in bed or running his bath. So - now we’ve got this sexist nonsense out of the way....”

Wtf!

I'd be saying

"Number 1 it's NONE of your business

Number 2 he is a perfectly capable adult who just happens to be unemployed currently if ANYTHING he should be doing more at home and with the kids (if he isn't or 'he is rightly doing more at home and with the kids')

Number 3 this is MY home too and if you wish to continue to be welcome in it I STRONGLY suspect you treat me with some respect"

Actually - your DP should be putting this twat straight but then it's telling he's chosen such an idiot for a friend!

"I’d look him dead in the eye and say “you tell that mysoginistic, repetitive, disrespectful “joke” one more time and you can’t get the fuck out of my house and never come back”. " actually this is better, I'm not good at brevity!

"DP tries to steer the conversation away whilst looking awkward, because he knows I won't appreciate the comments, but doesn't actively say anything in the moment." Seems to me you have a spineless secretly misogynistic (is it secret or is your DP a sexist idiot too? Go on his actions NOT his words) DP problem!

I couldn't be with someone spineless again. Exh tended towards that and quite honestly I got heartily sick of him moaning certain people weren't treating him well or taking advantage of him when he would do sod all about it cos he was gutless!

"because I know there’s not I’ll intent behind them." How do you know? Bigots often hide behind "humour" because they're often also cowards and if challenged they can claim "only joking" as a get out!

YANBU. Whatever you say won't matter to him. He's obviously a sexist twat trying to get a rise out of you. Don't let him bother you.

Oh, what would that look like, then? Wait, I'll sit down and you can show me exactly what it involves...

You will never hear it from him again.

Actually, I'd probably ask him how his search for a dead bear is going. That works well in our house. DP's mate might not know the original expression though!

'You should be waiting on him hand a foot'

Is he pregnant?

I'd be expecting my dinner on the table when I got home and I'd have no hesitation telling the unfunny twat exactly that.

Obviously it is said in jest but I'm getting annoyed about it

Wow some of you are behaving like he actually means it and encouraging the OP to take this seriously!

Punch him in the throat

Are you always this extraordinarily violent and aggressive?

It’s a weird sense of humour. He thinks he’s funny for some bizarre reason but there’s ways of dealing with it without going all cuckoo.