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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DP friend saying I should be waiting on him hand and foot, AIBU?

90 replies

Tyarami · 04/10/2019 10:28

DP recently lost his job and is looking for a new one, he has a friend locally who pops in for a cuppa once or twice a week.

Every time he's here since he's saying to me "I hope you're looking after him now he's at home, making him breakfast in bed every day and running his baths" amongst other things implying I should be waiting on him hand and foot. I have two kids to wait on, thank you very much.

He'll repeat more of the same at least another two times per visit.

Obviously it is said in jest but I'm getting annoyed about it. It's every single time.

I laughed it off the first two times but it's getting bloody annoying. He was here last night, yet again saying the same, I just looked at him with a poker face and sighed. I'm starting to dread him coming round.

Am I being an unreasonable grumpy cow or would you get annoyed by this?

OP posts:
ThumbWitchesAbroad · 04/10/2019 11:53

I'd be turning that one around and saying "no, now he's not out of the house working, HE should be running around making MY breakfast, running MY baths etc. while I look after our kids".

What a misogynistic shit "joke" it is. Fuck it off once and for all.

katkit · 04/10/2019 11:53

it sounds like a joke- some people just aren't that funny!

RhinoskinhaveI · 04/10/2019 12:03

How about 'oi, you, shut it'

ScrambledSmegs · 04/10/2019 12:04

I’d be tempted to turn it into a drinking game but the danger is you’ll get drunk very quickly if he makes the joke several times in a row.

EKGEMS · 04/10/2019 12:04

"The Neanderthal era called they want you to come back to the cave!"

onanothertrain · 04/10/2019 12:06

It's obviously a joke although clearly not very good or funny. If it annoys you tell him it annoys you. No need for all this PA shite or a tinkly laugh Hmm

timshelthechoice · 04/10/2019 12:07

What's your partner doing when he's running his mouth?

AngelsSins · 04/10/2019 12:08

I know this isn't the point, but I don't even really get it as a joke

Well it’s not is it, but you can guarantee that when OP pulls him up on it he’ll say “it’s just a joke” - the go to defence for unfunny, rude men. So better to head him off at the pass.

Whitejasmine · 04/10/2019 12:08

Stop being polite, that’s why misogynists get away with shit like this.

Lots of great responses above.

LagunaBubbles · 04/10/2019 12:10

Not really sure why haven't actually spoke and said to him to stop as it's annoying?

SchadenfreudePersonified · 04/10/2019 12:12

I was watching RuPaul on Graham Norton and he came up with 3 really good lines. One is very appropriate for your circumstances
“I don’t see how that’s any concern of yours”

What were the other two?

Mamabear500 · 04/10/2019 12:13

I agree with @Chickychoccyegg

ginghamtablecloths · 04/10/2019 12:18

He's really asking for it , isn't he?

"Are you always this much of an idiot or is this a special occasion?"

PEkithelp · 04/10/2019 12:19

Huh? Surely it should be more the other way around that he is picking up slack at home. Am I missing something?

UnfamousPoster · 04/10/2019 12:20

I think I'd have said "you do realise that joke wasn't funny the first 30 times you said it? Haven't you come up with anything better yet?"

LovePoppy · 04/10/2019 12:21

Shouldn’t your partner be waiting on you now that he’s home?

Coffeeandchocolate9 · 04/10/2019 12:23

No need for all this PA shite or a tinkly laugh

It's the mumsnet law that at least one piece of advice on any thread on mumsnet should contain the advice to do a tinkly laugh Wink

ivykaty44 · 04/10/2019 12:24

Why do people think that others are so pathetic they need everything doing for them? How does your do feel about being insulted like this?

Vanhi · 04/10/2019 12:27

I find in these situations saying "that isn't funny" followed by walking off works quite well. They get the hump and don't like you for it but whatever. I don't see why I should be polite to someone who is being rude to me.

PablosHoney · 04/10/2019 12:29

He sounds extremely dull

AryaStarkWolf · 04/10/2019 12:29

Ugh I hope funny guys like him are a dying breed. I'd have to be deadly serious and answer truthfully, "Don't you think as I'm working, that it should be DH waiting on me or are you implying that as I have a vagina and DH has a penis I'm his inferior and need to be his servant?"

BigChocFrenzy · 04/10/2019 12:30

Reply "he should be waiting on ME"

incognito76 · 04/10/2019 12:32

God, he sounds dull as shit. He doesn’t really think you should be waiting on your DP; he’s just one of those annoying people who has one joke and will repeat it every single time he sees you.

SurlyValentine · 04/10/2019 12:32

@SchadenfreudePersonified

"I'll be the judge of that"
"Thanks for the warning"
"I don't see how that's any of your business"

Sunshine93 · 04/10/2019 12:34

Reply along the lines of "he's an adult so he looks after himself" make it clear you don't find it funny. Don't get worked up about it.

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