AIBU to insist my Mil has a flu jab...

[Lou573]

...if she wants to sit for hours holding my very prem baby this winter?

Just that really - bringing a 28 weeker home soon, previous experience tells me that my mil would like nothing more than to install herself on my sofa with the baby for hours at a time. Can I tell her she needs the flu jab before she does this or is that unreasonable? To be honest even if it is unreasonable I think I have the right to be a bit unreasonable after the last few months.

For balance my parents get it every year anyway.

My husband's oncologist was insistent that we all had the flu jab before my husband started his chemotherapy. So clearly it has some protective effect.

You can say you would prefer her to have a vaccine. You can't insit. Lets face it they are more likely to get a bug from bottle not made/stored correctly

These are the guidelines for visitors to the neonatal ward at Great Ormand Street...
Anyone who has an infection should not visit until they are better. Please do not visit if you have a cold, cough or an upset stomach, or think you have recently been in contact with someone who has. You should wait until you have not had any symptoms for 48 hours before you visit. No visiting sibling or child will be allowed in to the ward if they have or been in contact with chicken pox. If in doubt, please speak to your bedside nurse or the nurse in charge. When you visit, please wash your hands thoroughly before you enter the ward and use the alcohol gel provided at each ward door.

Don’t you think if a flu jab was necessary to visit children with compromised immune systems, they’d insist on it? I don’t know why the op can’t just make sure her MIL follows these rules and doesn’t outstay her welcome.

Well the flu jab isn’t available on the nhs to everyone so a hospital would have a hard time insisting that family members pay for a private flu jab before visiting.

When our twins were in nicu during flu season we were absolutely encouraged to have it. They couldn’t force us. However, they’re not the parents. OP can set whatever boundaries she wants, and given that she’s had a very traumatic experience (which you may struggle to understand fully if you’ve never experienced) I would take whatever sensible precaution I could to protect the baby and reassure the mum.

@sinkgirl

No we haven’t had the flu jag, none of us have and none of us have been advised to have it, it we feel a slight sniffle or don’t feel 100% we don’t visit.

Was reading they are going to roll out the flu jab to year 6 pupils this year. The flu jab at boots is £12.99, money well spent in my case.

My youngest is a 28 weeker. Wouldn't let anyone within 5 foot of him before they antibacced there hands unvaccinated first flu season. Could be luck but fuck it we made it through with no serious illnesses and he was an oxygen baby.

He's 2 now I've loosened up slightly now he is 2 but YANBU.

It probably isn't necessary but I do understand why you are concerned.

If you are going to ask MIL to have the jab then I think the way you ask her to do it is key. Go in all guns blazing and say 'I insist you have it else you can't see DC' and she might get the hump. Say something like 'The doctors say it's really important that everyone who will have prolonged contact with the baby has the jab so they don't get poorly - when is the soonest you can get it done because I'm sure you can't wait to cuddle him'. Make it someone else's idea, justify the request and explain the benefits but most of all, be kind about it.