To mourn MN as it was in the Moulden Days

[GregoriaTheGreat]

Admittedly, it was not perfect (full of quiches and Queen Bees). So much so that I gave it a rest for a considerable while. I may even have Flounced at some point (though was not a Mouldie. I would never have been cool enough).

But I now mourn the Olden Days when nobody had to bother with "lighthearted" when a thread was evidently lighthearted. Nobody took everything quite so seriously, even when they would have good reason to.

Posters generally had a decent command of spelling and grammar, too.

Maybe I'm just old and need to take up knitting or something.

You had your name taken off you at one point didn't you AF? MN got a bit funny about usernames with swear words in them or summat.

I got a warning from MNHQ once that I had seriously upset a "regular" (I reckon one of them-there "royals") who had posted something daft under a name change. I wondered for a while who it was. If they had told me I would have apologised but I didn't get the chance.

Like Tortoiser I miss CogitoErgoSometimes Does anyone know what happened to Cog ?

To be fair, they didn't take my name off me but it was "strongly suggested" by HQ. There was a bit of a tizzy about it

CuntWorms had to change her name. It was upsetting people.

Another one missing @CogitoErgoSometimes.

I think she took a breather, never to return. She was probably the pp I agreed with most times on Relationships. I often wonder if she's still posting under a different nn, but I'm a lot less on Relationships these days too.

I'm way too late to the party, as ever, but this is bringing back some great memories.

I joined in about 2010, I think, knew no one and was mainly a shy lurker. But I met people on book threads (there was a brilliant one that turned classics into AIBUs), West Wing appreciation threads and eventually became a Nobdie. Which kind of sums up my MN experience There was - presumably still is - always a quiet corner for the less confident MNer.

I also joined the Woolly Huggers which converted me from lifelong scoffer to paid-up yarnaholic.

I recognise so many names on here and it is rather brilliant to see them, as it reminds me of a time when I got a lot of support and FUN from this place. I still check in occasionally, mainly when I want to know how to do something and I am absolutely certain that a MNer will have the best, most informed or inspired answer. Fuck YouTube!

Just want to wave to Fiderer and any Nobdies still around.

Oh, and the

I love the SO MUCH.

I've been thinking a lot about this thread and cogitating about the issues it has raised. There are often threads like this, as PP have attested - although not every week! - and there's always the same accusations that newbies were deliberately excluded and oldies (or the dreaded 'royalty') came flocking in to defend their own when a mythical klaxon went off somewhere.

I think some of this is true.

I joined in 2006, and it was already quite a big site, but you did get to know people and see the same posters because the number of boards was so much smaller, and people didn't change their posting names so often. So it was inevitable that friendship groups formed. There definitely was a group who revelled in making their friendships obvious and also obviously exclusive - there was the constant call to take the conversation on to MSN - making it clear that you were no longer part of the group or that chat.

In many ways Moldies was just an extension of that. It was very hurtful to know that not only were you not one if the chosen ones but also that you had been rejected!

There was/is also definitely a 'call to arms' from time to time. There are countless other enclaves of MNetters in other parts of the internet - Facebook groups or subs on Reddit or private forums, for example - and if a poster is getting a hard time then they ask their mates for support. (I'm actually not sure what's wrong with that, to be honest).

But I think the level of nastiness displayed here, most of it directed at @Hullygully, is not only unnecessary but also symptomatic of the changes in MN are bring referenced here.

If you form friendships on MN (or anywhere else online), what's wrong with chatting to your mates, or waving st them? (That heinous crime!). None of that is deliberately excluding others. There's nothing to stop anyone else joining in a conversation.

I get that it might feel a bit intimidating when you're new, but we all had to start somewhere!

Anyway this has rambled on for too long. No doubt I'll get accused of piling on to support a mate (and believe you me I thought long and hard about posting this for that very reason).

If you don't like people reminiscing about how it used to be here, why post? Why be so sneery about it? Things have undoubtedly changed - inevitably since the site is so much bigger. As someone used to say here - let's have a bit of PARD

Polite and reasonable discussion

But in general, I find that men just aren’t bitchy and mean about other men in a way that women are.

This is part of the Patriarchy - bassically oppressed groups all have a tendency towards "bitchiness and meanness". It is part of the way such oppression operates, that the oppressed tend to use social control on others of the oppressed both to prevent the other person being punished by the oppressors and so as not to themselves come to the notice of the oppressors. Similar things happen in other situations with power imbalances (slavery, feudalism, 1900s factories etc.)
And it is "shocking" because we "expect" a common cause from those oppressed.
Of course the term oppressed seems a bit OTT when talking to sexism etc.

And the "klaxon" stuff - I have been on another internet place where when I said something "wrong" - a lot of very powerful people suddenly appeared and piled onto to me. In that case there definitely was some communication "behind" the scenes as few if any of those people had been active before.
If that had ever happened to you before and something similar happened on MN you might well wonder what was going on "behind the scenes".

Funnily enough biwi I thought about all this too. over night.

I think that what the posts on this thread show is that it comes down to the individual, some people are confident and jump in and post loads and get noticed, others are quieter and build up slowly and gradually get to know people and get known, kind of "paying their dues" while others feel left out or excluded if they aren't responded to.

Character is fate as dear Thomas Hardy nicked from the Greeks.

So with the third category it becomes self-reinforcing because they feel excluded so their posts are aggrieved and not very nice, which doesn't make anyone warm to them, which makes them feel excluded and so it goes.

I fully admit I don't know what it is to feel like that because if I am ignored I go elsewhere and look for chums and don't take it personally,. just assume everyone is busy chatting and good luck to them.

I don't know what the answer is.

This is different from the nasty pile-ins of course (which I don't participate in so don't really see) or the summonsing off here (which again I don't partake thereof).

But overall it is genuinely sad (that word again) if people feel unheard and unseen both here and in RL .

I agree with BIWI. None of the aforementioned "royalty" were ever nasty to me but I was hounded off at one point by someone v nasty who I think had me on search and popped up on every thread I was on to be vile. Can't even remember their name now.

Like wanting to know why Liz cut off Mary's head. It's MN history.

I read this and thought, 'bloody hell, I remember mouldies and yoni's....how the fuck did I miss a Mumsnet decapitation!'
......I'm tired.

Then there was one poster who very kindly made it her mission to bump messages that had not been replied too. Is that even a highlighted thing anymore?

I remember that, I always thought it was such a kind thing to do.

I was hounded around the boards once by someone who took agin me. It was just really odd. Up she'd pop, having a pop, and it was just, why? How can you be bothered? Says so much more about them than the hounded.

Then there was one poster who very kindly made it her mission to bump messages that had not been replied too. Is that even a highlighted thing anymore?

There’s a New tab on the mobile site, I don’t know if it’s on the app.

Hmph well I said more or less the same as BIWI this morning and I got stepped over because I am not royalty .

I once found a Reddit group that "monitors" MN, with some, ahem, interesting comments.
They were quite angry when I mentioned it and linked to the group. The post was deleted.

But I think it's only fair that the focus is reversed. If you're going to bitch about MN do it in private or don't complain.

Correction: bitch about MN pps.

Sorry @Nextphonewontbesamsung

Oh and I include myself in the call for PARD. I've posted stuff recently that hasn't been very nice and I'm ashamed of that. This thread has been a reminder to me that the site, for all its faults, is still a place to give support and be supportive.

BIWI!

I can't imagine you ever being anything other than nice.

Re the women saying stand by your man, they can't help it, bless their little mansocks cotton useless hearts, bet you a billion they have just such a specimen at home so want to normalize it. Otherwise they might have to do something about it. Misery and subjection loves company.

Justine was on something a while back (desert island discs?) And she said the early days of MN were mainly her and a few employees talking to themselves under various fake names. Unlike now when everything is 100% genuine

Yes I think they were quite shocked when someone 'genuine' popped on one of the threads!