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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU about DIY

71 replies

IAmALazyArse · 02/10/2019 20:01

I think women should really go and learn basic DIY. How to handle electric screwdriver, drill, how to pressure a boiler, how to change a silicone around bath and sink, use spirit level, turning off water.
The basics. There is always something what needs tightening, repairing, changing etc at home. It's quite awesome to be able to do bits yourself, at least for me.

I just spent half an hour on a phone with a friend explaining to her how to re pressure the boiler after I explained to her yesterday how to bleed radiators. She is by far not the only one! I get the "OMG no way" when I say I repaired something, built a flat pack furniture (some of it actually doesn't even need extra tools), changed silicone around bathtub...
It's nothing extra like if I carved furniture from oak or rewired whole house. I never met a guy who couldn't or wouldn't do it.

AIBU to think that in 21st century we can do it and we SHOULD do it instead of "I ask my xxx to do these things. I don't know how to screw/cut/drill"? Same way like man should clean up instead of doing "I ask my xx to do it. I don't even know where hoover is"?

I sometimes worry about women and am kind of hoping now friend's boiler is okBlush

OP posts:
Ariela · 02/10/2019 20:53

I think most people under the age of 30-40 could do with learning how to do DIY.
Certainly my school year group all knew how to wire a plug etc.
I was in a bicycle shop recently and was amazed when a pair of youngsters came in and actually PAID to have their tyres blown up and their brakes checked!!!!

RetreatingWeasels · 02/10/2019 20:56

I can do it. I choose not to, on the grounds that if I do something once it becomes my job forever after, and because I do everything else. Lazy arse DH can get off his backside and do the DIY himself.

babycatcher411 · 02/10/2019 21:01

Completely agree. Basic DIY skills are very easy to learn and could save you a lot of money/save you having to use other peoples time up. Whilst this applies to many/most females, it also applies to very many males too! brother I’m looking at you

Knowing how to hang a curtain pole or a mirror would’ve been far more useful skills to learn in DT at school than how to make/carve a trinket box and solder a metal statue

Ilikewinter · 02/10/2019 21:04

I enjoy doing DIY, id rather do it myself than pay someone to do it.

Have just ordered ladders so I can clear the guttering and people at work seem genuinley horrified that id attempt this myself and not get OH to do it.....who is scared of heights!

Original poster
IAmALazyArse · 02/10/2019 21:04

Actually soldering would be really handy for my garden project😮

@RetreatingWeasels swap it with him 😁 You screw, he hoovers

OP posts:
june2007 · 02/10/2019 21:11

I doo agree. I am dyspraxic. I can not draw in a straight line but will have a go. But hubby is more practical. at least 2 of my sisters however are more practical then there hubby's.

IWantMyHatBack · 02/10/2019 21:15

You can learn so much from YouTube

I didn't know how to repressurise my boiler last week. Now I do.

I think it's confidence in your abilities tbh. It's easy enough to find out how to do something..

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 02/10/2019 21:16

Your post is very generalising towards women. It's like saying "men should learn x/y/z" - erm, some men should. Others know.

Same with women and diy.

MrsTerryPratchett · 02/10/2019 21:16

My Grandmother told my mum she'd better learn to do it because my dad is useless. The man could fall over in an empty room. So my mum learned how to do everything and taught me how to do everything. And I'm teaching DD.

I married a man who wants to take over even though I paint better than him and Ikea flat packs hold no fear.

With YouTube and wiki how there is really no excuse.

ConFusion360 · 02/10/2019 21:21

I can do it too. I'd rather other things though and, to be honest, my husband is better at it... except tiling... and paper hanging.

FlatheadScrewdriver · 02/10/2019 21:22

I taught myself (heavily relying on Readers Digest big book of DIY). Have been putting off re-doing the bath seal though - you have inspired me to crack on with that!

TrainspottingWelsh · 02/10/2019 21:22

Yanbu. I've always preferred that kind of thing anyway, but even if you don't there's no reason not to be capable of it if necessary.

Same with cars, it's beyond me why anyone wouldn't know how to do basic routine maintenance, or change a tire or a bulb.

And I really don't understand people that seem inordinately proud of the fact they haven't got a clue, whist simultaneously being frustrated that hubby hasn't yet got round to doing x,y, z diy tasks.

ifancyagreencard · 02/10/2019 21:25

Tomorrow night we will be teaching our Rainbows (aged 5-7) to:
Screw in a screw
Measure with a proper tape
Hammer a nail into a pumpkin
Find and fix a puncture
Change a light bulb

“This girl can” and all that.........

I remain astounded the degree of helplessness I sometimes witness. Not having the physical strength to do a task I totally get. Not being able to YouTube instructions for an unfamiliar job and having a crack I don’t .....

coastergirl · 02/10/2019 21:25

I've always enjoyed DIY, especially flat-pack furniture. In every relationship I've been in, I've been the one doing the DIY. I was very excited to get my own drill!

flouncyfanny · 02/10/2019 21:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SallyLovesCheese · 02/10/2019 21:30

YABU. You can't tar all women with the same brush! I'm just as likely to do DIY as my husband. I can wire plugs, put up shelves, measure and saw wood, fix a toilet, change a light switch, put up flat packs, lay laminate flooring...

Just because you don't know any women who can do this, doesn't mean we're all the same. How about offering general DIY skills to all when they're about 16 and not generalising and segregating by sex?

Idontwanttotalk · 02/10/2019 21:35

I really like DIY when I am in the mood for it and am more than capable of doing most things required in a house. DH is good at DIY too but I have a DB and a BIL who always pay tradesmen to do everything and another DB who DH and I do that stuff for. I don't think they've ever even emulsioned a wall.

DoubleFunMum · 02/10/2019 21:36

YABU to say this a male/female issue. Some people enjoy DIY (like me) and others don't (like my husband). Today I had to explain to my 4 year old nephew why his Aunty had a toolbox and his Uncle didn't! But if someone doesn't like/know DIY that you do, perhaps they have other skills? My husband, for example, can do IT things I don't know about. Maybe they can sew/cook/garden/clean/fix a car/something else they are more interested in that saves them money and that you may not do. Well done you for helping a friend but perhaps it could be done with less...judgement!

moonlight1705 · 02/10/2019 21:37

My DH often says to me that something needs fixing and he will get my tool box for me - note its my tool box and not his as he is awful at practical things whilst I'm pretty good.

My PIL bought me a drill for my first Christmas and we have bonded over DIY.

Mummoomoocow · 02/10/2019 21:42

I do these things. It’s nothing amazing. I am also not amazed when I see men cleaning. I hate cleaning and I hate diy. As does my dp. Guess who does both though

TheAlternativeTentacle · 02/10/2019 21:54

I was an engineer for 20 years pal. I have all the tools.

You don't need to worry about us. We're fine.

beatriceprior · 02/10/2019 21:56

Today I had no hot water because the pressure had dropped on my boiler.

My DH used to be a gas fitter. He face timed
Me through re pressuring the boiler.

Definite need to know this. It's so easy!

TreacherousPissFlap · 02/10/2019 22:04

I've just fitted a new bathroom

Truthfully DH explained most of the first fixing, and he did fit the toilet as we only have one so speed was of the essence. I did everything else myself though.

alwayscoffee · 02/10/2019 22:05

I like paying professionals to do things - it’s good for the economy and I prefer sitting on the sofa drinking coffee to do doing stuff.

Doingtheboxerbeat · 02/10/2019 22:39

I learned how to a solder when I was 12 years old from a old neighbour as I had a radio cassette player that kept breaking on me.
I loved my music and we (DM and me) were poor and couldn't afford to replace or take it to be repaired, so she asked our neighbour (the only time she asked a man for help Blush as she hated being dependent).
Because it kept loosing connection, in the end he gave me some solder and taught me how to do solder the wires myself.
I loved that I knew how to do this myself and at such an early age. DM taught me how to do everything else though like paint, wallpaper and wire a plug.
When there are no men around you pretty much try to rely on yourself.
RIP Sam.

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