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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU about DIY

71 replies

IAmALazyArse · 02/10/2019 20:01

I think women should really go and learn basic DIY. How to handle electric screwdriver, drill, how to pressure a boiler, how to change a silicone around bath and sink, use spirit level, turning off water.
The basics. There is always something what needs tightening, repairing, changing etc at home. It's quite awesome to be able to do bits yourself, at least for me.

I just spent half an hour on a phone with a friend explaining to her how to re pressure the boiler after I explained to her yesterday how to bleed radiators. She is by far not the only one! I get the "OMG no way" when I say I repaired something, built a flat pack furniture (some of it actually doesn't even need extra tools), changed silicone around bathtub...
It's nothing extra like if I carved furniture from oak or rewired whole house. I never met a guy who couldn't or wouldn't do it.

AIBU to think that in 21st century we can do it and we SHOULD do it instead of "I ask my xxx to do these things. I don't know how to screw/cut/drill"? Same way like man should clean up instead of doing "I ask my xx to do it. I don't even know where hoover is"?

I sometimes worry about women and am kind of hoping now friend's boiler is okBlush

OP posts:
Branster · 02/10/2019 23:15

ThreacherousPissFlapp I am very impressed!
Absolutely, women should know how to do most basic DIY stuff. It’s like driving a car and not knowing how to change a tyre - you drive then you should be capable to maintain the car when you haven’t got a flat tyre next to a KwickFit. Have car, have responsibilities. Same with a house.
I wouldn’t know how to do a lot of stuff but I do a lot of DIY even though I have a very competent and willing DH. I stopped helping my female friends because instead of wanting to learn and do it themselves, they expect me to do it for them. Like flat packs. Really not difficult at all.

SunshineAngel · 02/10/2019 23:21

Well, I know how to do all of the things you mentioned, so I guess that's good.

I think fewer people in general (men included) know how to do these things than you might think. My brother in law is a tradesman and more than half of his jobs are things that people could do themselves in less than 10 minutes.

73Sunglasslover · 02/10/2019 23:29

I never met a guy who couldn't or wouldn't do it.

I've met loads.

MemphisMum · 02/10/2019 23:32

I’m a manager in s DIY store

It’s not the women who need to learn.... they are the ones who do the research and know what they need. They take advice, they listen and they read instructions

Crotchgoblins · 03/10/2019 06:39

I've painted put living room whilst heavily pregnant, plastered, fixed my washing machine motor, do all the gardening and furniture assembly etc.

It's got a lot harder now I have children under 5 to physically be able to look after them ( no family to help out) and complete a job. My husband hates doing DIY so these days we end up paying people to do jobs. There is no enough hours in the day.

I do get my kids to help me with jobs though. Putting together a kiddie table and chairs. They can use Allen keys easily and continue screwing once a screw set off for them. It would have taken me20 mins to do the job myself. 90mins later half of it was complete with kids help .....

20viona · 03/10/2019 06:56

I do a lot of the diy in our house. I put blinds up, curtain poles built furniture (most of which i was heavily pregnant). I feel so satisfied when I do something like that I love it!

LongtimeLurker29 · 03/10/2019 07:02

It baffles me why people pay for things to be done when they take seconds to do. Nothing I love more than a bit of DIY, I find it therapeutic. I will paint, tile, lay flooring, hang picture frames, sort the boiler. You name it and I'll give it a try 😂

khlo5 · 03/10/2019 07:04

Completely agree. My dad taught me the basics at a really young age. Rewiring a plug, using tools, basic plumbing skills. There really is no excuse in this day and age. Particularly with the help of you tube videos! I refer to them with I get stuck.

HemlockStarglimmer · 03/10/2019 07:19

I can do most things. My husband can do a few things. My parents taught me. His parents didn't. I was interested. He wasn't. Different strokes for different folks.

DappledThings · 03/10/2019 07:24

I love flat pack. I've built furniture for other people voluntarily and enjoyed it.

When I was on mat leave with DC1 but before he arrived I was one day putting up some coat hooks when the door rang. I swaddled downstairs and opened it still holding the electric drill to be treated by a woman from Hello Fresh who said, "Oh you're doing some DIY. I've got a man with me who could help if you like." She did not make a sale! She also followed it up with, "I assume you do all the cooking in your house".

TheAlternativeTentacle · 03/10/2019 07:37

It’s like driving a car and not knowing how to change a tyre - you drive then you should be capable to maintain the car when you haven’t got a flat tyre next to a KwickFit.

I know how to change one. I never have because it is fucking dangerous to change a car tyre if it blows in many situations. I also know intimately how to take many things apart and put them together again, I'd not do that on an open road, ever.

itwasalovelydreamwhileitlasted · 03/10/2019 07:41

I do all the DIY in my house including decorating, putting together furniture, minor plaster works, putting up shelves, mastic, guttering etc - DH only really gets involved if it's really heavy or really high. I'll generally have a go at most things once I've watched a few u tube videos

It really annoys me when female friends/family don't lift a finger and complain about works not being done round the house and wait for their DH to do it

I do think there should be more practical lessons in school though - I don't recall learning anything remotely useful in DT lessons - do they still even do those lessons anymore? School kids should be taught basic skills light wiring a plug; principles of using drills, decorating etc

lazylinguist · 03/10/2019 07:51

It really annoys me when female friends/family don't lift a finger and complain about works not being done round the house and wait for their DH to do it

In my experience these are often women who do most, if not all, of the daily, weekly housework and house admin. So it hardly seems unreasonable that the men do the one-off diy jobs.

My dh does all diy stuff in our house (bar decorating, which I do). I occasionally wish it were the other way around, as diy jobs tend to be one-off jobs you can proudly go 'tadaaah!' at the end of, and everyone notices and says well done. Unlike the endless drudgery of housework, where nobody notices it unless you don't do it.

And yes, I know I could perfectly well learn (and would do if I needed to). But dh is pretty good at it tbh.

itwasalovelydreamwhileitlasted · 03/10/2019 07:55

@lazylinguist
Perhaps but not always - some of those friends their husbands also do a significant amount of cooking and cleaning

I don't think there should be pink jobs and blue jobs

Original poster
IAmALazyArse · 03/10/2019 07:57

I do apologise for the generalisation. And it wasn't intended to be judgy. It's more about... I still don't know how to explain it so it won't be the most eloquent one here... It's equally concerning that many women can't do basics as it is concerning that many man can't cook a simple meal. Or maybe it's more of a won't? IYSWIM. I think knowing basics helps one's self esteem and that's only a good thing.

Great to hear so many here with some amazing skills!

Agree about DT! Not from UK but we had them too and yeah... Made a key hanger🙄

OP posts:
Original poster
IAmALazyArse · 03/10/2019 07:59

I don't think there should be pink jobs and blue jobs

Yes! That!

OP posts:
ConFusion360 · 03/10/2019 09:34

I don't think there should be pink jobs and blue jobs

Agreed, we do the jobs that best suit our skills and temperament, although it does seem to usually end up with each of us doing the traditional pink and blue jobs.

Sinnyfo34 · 03/10/2019 10:41

I completely agree, I've learnt myself all aspects of DIY...from changing a plug to skimming walls...i can completely re-decorate and keep up with repairs in my home without needing to ask for help or pay anyone..it also feels like an achievement which is good.

LonginesPrime · 03/10/2019 10:45

Just because you don't know any women who can do this, doesn't mean we're all the same.

^ This. I do plenty of DIY while simultaneously being female, thanks!

nokidshere · 03/10/2019 11:01

I've always loved doing diy. I have tackled pretty much everything in the house over the years. DH can and will have a go but he hates it, gets flustered and doesn't have vision. Now I can't physically do it and, whilst DH does some things, I often pay for someone to do the things I can't.

My female friends are all pretty handy too and tend to do their own diy. I don't know anyone who is unable to do basic maintenance, but I know lots of people who don't want to.

Cars though are hideous and, as far as I am concerned, best left to a garage.

Original poster
IAmALazyArse · 03/10/2019 11:08

I think it may be an age thing? I know from my mum's gen everyone knew everything. My age group? Not so much🤔

OP posts:
AryaStarkWolf · 03/10/2019 11:13

Lots of men don't have a clue about DIY either. I would say I'm decent enough but I always had an interest in it. Would be an idea to have some sort of "life skills" classes like these in school I think actually

incognito76 · 03/10/2019 12:03

My DP has absolutely zero skill or knowledge about DIY, so it's not just a woman thing. I know loads of men who don't have a clue about this stuff.

I can do a bit - painting and decorating, flatpacks, sealing a bath, bleeding a radiator, minor repairs, putting up pictures etc - but that's about it. I get zero pleasure or satisfaction from it and would rather pay someone else to do it wherever possible. The money is well worth the lack of hassle to me. But each to their own. I've got plenty of other practical skills and we all have our strengths and weaknesses.

AryaStarkWolf · 03/10/2019 12:11

My DP has absolutely zero skill or knowledge about DIY, so it's not just a woman thing. I know loads of men who don't have a clue about this stuff.

My DH is good but he did work in the building line for a longtime. My brothers and dad didn't have a clue though (still don't) I was the DIY person in our house growing up

Appletreehouse · 03/10/2019 12:32

I think it's the fact that people didn't have the money or it just wasn't the done thing to pay someone to do the work, my parents always shocked at the jobs we pay people to do but we're lucky enough to be able to afford it and I'd rather have the time rather than save the money.

Now with social media etc it's pretty easy to find trades people, a piece of gutter needed replacing last week, within an hour of asking for recommendations on Facebook I had someone here, within two hours it was done, £50. I don't want to spend time finding a neighbour with a ladder then spending a couple of hours fixing it myself. Job done.

Also technology has changed so much, who actually needs to rewire a plug now? On the other hand, putting up a curtain rail or mirror, boiler pressure all useful to know. I know how to change a tyre but that service is included in my breakdown cover which I'm paying for anyway (tow to home or garage) so why would I put myself in danger and get wet etc trying to do something that a pro does in half the time much more safely?

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