Inconsiderate Neighbours

[Gorillaandme]

AIBU to think it would be polite if having loud building work done to prior warn next door neighbour (semi detached) of it taking place when they know I have a toddler? (As do they)

I have new neighbours who are completely renovating next door. I have already had issues with them drilling and hammering late at night. Once until 1am. My husband has already had a polite chat about this and they agreed to stop at 8pm. I'm aware most of the renovations are happening after work so that's why we agreed 8pm.

They are having windows fitted this week which we knew nothing about. My daughter (18 months) will only sleep in her pram and I have to push her around for an hour before she falls asleep. This week she has also been teething so getting minimal sleep. Yesterday I took her out and walked around until she fell asleep. I returned to the house shaking and the noise was horrific she woke up instantly and was really distressed. My dog who had been at home well I poped out had shit on kitchen floor because he was so scared and today isn't eating and got upset stomach from stress.

I ended up having to go out in car to let daughter sleep. I got no rest and I didn't have anywhere to take dog.

I'm just angry because if I had known in advance I could have arranged with my sister to go round there with daughter and dog. I'm not sure how long this will be going on either.

Do you think this is inconsiderate on there part or am I the unreasonable one? I don't know whether to say something because I don't want to fall out with them.

Also I wouldn’t pre-warn my neighbors of daytime building work at all. Only evening.

@Totalwasteofpaper you say you "would not allow" neighbours to work as late as 8pm but by law they are allowed to work later than that. How exactly would you "not allow it"?

if you read the OP, it's not ONE occasion, and even if it was, that's too many already! WHO in their right mind does building work in the middle of the night? Do they assumed that their neighbours were deaf, or did they just don't care?

But it was just one occasion any other noise has stopped at 8pm as per the Op's DH's request which seems pretty reasonable. They probably got carried away trying to get a job finished because until it was done the next job couldn't begin. Yes it is unreasonable but it was a one off and the Op says they have been considerate in sticking to the agreed timings ever since.

Sadly even those of us living in semi-detached and terrace houses have to do building work sometimes and unfortunately that work will disturb our neighbours. Its inevitable but it certainly doesn't mean they are going to be horrible neighbours. I'm sure if the Op goes round and explains that advance notice would be preferred due to the dog and child then they will be accommodating.

@Icantthinkofanewname87 I don't need update of drilling and hammering in daytime because I can put my daughter in different room and her nap through but I'm noise yesterday shook the whole house and was ridiculously loud. I just wanted prior warning of noise that is that loud so I could move out.

@SmileCheese 1am was one occasion but we grin and beared work until 11.30/12 at night on multiple occasions. My husband even went round at 11pm one night because he gets up at 4am for work but they didn't answer.

Except for the 1am thing, which was ridiculous of them, I think you're being unreasonable. It's unfortunate that your child is waking up during a daytime nap, and it's unfortunate that you're exhausted because of your pregnancy, but your neighbours can't time their whole renovation around your particular timetable.
Every day of renovation will be noisy, so there's not much point asking for them to tell you when it will be noisy either.

I appreciate it's frustrating, but you having a nervous dog, a toddler who won't sleep and a hubby who works long hours is not their problem.

Building work is unpredictable; people cancel, people don't show up... if it's good weather, the builder booked to do the windows might need to do a roof job somewhere else; if it's raining, they might rearrange to do an inside job.

I say this as someone who was doing renovations on and off for 10 sodding months; if all had gone to plan it could have been done much quicker. I kept apologising to my neighbour but there is no way I could have updated him every morning with 'You might hear a bit of noise between 10am and 2pm' or ''They will be some hammering around 12.30'.

They have agreed to finish by 8pm every day, which is good but actually means it will probably go on for much longer overall. Maybe just go and stay with your sister for a week or so for a break?

I think they definitely should warn. I know how much it makes you want to scream when they are so inconsiderate with noise!

Mine decided to have loud music and shouting last night (effing MONDAY night?!) room next to my bedroom, until gone midnight. I'm a knackered single mum on the very edge as it is.

Like I and others have said I'm sure if you go round and explain to them about the anxious dog, waking child and you being pregnant they will try to be accommodating. Sadly if the work needs doing then it needs doing and if its going to be loud there isn't much they can do to lessen how loud it is going to be.

I see that it has been a few occasions where they have continued work late but if they have stuck to the agreed timings since you spoke with them then there is nothing to suggest they wont be happy to help find a resolution that works for you and them to this new problem. However at the moment they don't know you have a problem because you have not spoke to them so they cant help to fix it.

Neighbours are CF and I am polite. It cost nothing to pop next door, warn people and apologise. A bit of consideration goes a very long way.

It's not up to the OP to go and tell them that it would help if she had a bit of warning!

The only positive thing is that you know, when the building work finishes, if the CF do live there, you haven't got to be careful about your own noise and you can make as much as you want. I'd expect them to plonk a tv on the communal wall though, and be as loud and unpleasant as you can imagine.

A lot of people do building work, have extensions build, and so on. Many of them still manage to be as considerate and pleasant as possible. It costs nothing and it makes life so much more liveable.

However at the moment they don't know you have a problem because you have not spoke to them so they cant help to fix it.

How can they not know when the OP and her husband have already told them several time?

Either the neighbours are thick as a plank, or just inconsiderate.

How can they not know when the OP and her husband have already told them several time?

Because the Op's initial problem with the work was how late it was going on and now her problem is how loud it is during the day. These are separate problems. The probably think its fine to do all the noisy jobs during the day because they agreed with the Op that the work would stop at 8pm. Now the OP wants to know when these jobs will happen even during the day because of the anxious dog, lack of sleep due to pregnancy etc.

You are unreasonable they can get work done during the day as much as they want. Apart from the 1am thing which they haven’t done again after you asked. They are not in the wrong. You yourself will need works done at some point so it evens out.

You are v generous, I wouldn’t allow them to make noise as late as 8pm.

How do you propose to stop them doing something perfectly legal?

OP, it’s only temporary. Hopefully normal operating conditions will resume shortly.

Have a chat with them, explain your situation and ask them to give you advance warning if anything particularly noisy is going to be done. That's all you can expect. The work has to be finished, and it's not forever (although it might feel that way).

You might have to make allowances for the unexpected, though. You never know with builders if they are going to show up on the day they told you... Last year we had some major landscaping done. The guys were supposed to start Tuesday. I came home from a supermarket shop on the Friday before to find three guys with strimmers (the noisy kind) working happily away getting rid of the 2-foot weeds, while a fourth guy was manoeuvring a huge digger to park on our land. I had told the neighbours to expect noise the next week, of course... Right now, on the other hand, I am waiting for the builders, who are doing our terrace and were supposed to start yesterday. Ah well.

I think they could do more. We're in a flat and have done building works recently - we got the neighbours' numbers and wrote to say that we were doing x, y and z and that it would take approximately amount of time. We also promised to let them know when the heavy duty / loud stuff was happening, and did. Strikes me as common decency.

Hopefully it will all be over by the time your new baby comes - my neighbours started a massive extension just before I had my baby - I had the last few weeks off work and was looking forward to lying on the couch watching crap tv and they ruined it with the noise of the foundations being built. Still makes me cross to think about it!

It would have been polite to let you know, but they don’t need to update you on every part (eg the windows). My downstairs neighbour is having some work done today (cue lots of banging) and hasn’t informed me, even though I bumped into her last night.

Now the OP wants to know when these jobs will happen even during the day

and that's unreasonable to you because?

Babies, illness, working from home... there are so many perfectly valid reasons to expect a bit of warning.

I am amazed by the amount of rude people who don't give a damn about anyone else and think others should just suck it up. Why? Wouldn't you like if your own neighbours were considerate and making YOUR life easier?
A warming can mean someone goes out for the day, or the week or make alternative plans - at least they are warned.

I can't for the life of me comprehend people who think that's below them to be a bit neighbourly.

You’re getting a hard time here OP. out of courtesy they could’ve come round to introduce themselves and tell you they were doing renovations. Once they’d done that, it’s then easier for you to knock on and ask to be warned about noisy works.

Tbh I thought I’d started this thread and forgotten! We are currently living next to a complete whole house renovation in a terrace. My gripe is the same as yours- I completely understand it will be noisy but they turn up really sporadically to do the works and this is hard to cope with when you’ve been up all night with pregnancy insomnia and then they start hammering at 7.04am. I could’ve gone round to complain as that’s outside our councils permitted hours but what’s the point? I was already awake. Or when they are sanding every wooden surface from 8am to 9pm on sundays and bank holidays with windows open and you have a newborn/sleep deprivation. I just want to know when they will be there so I can plan around it!

I sympathise OP. Most people accept that their neighbours will make noise due to building works at some point but a little courtesy goes a very long way - simply because it shows an awareness of how it might impact on others, instead of an arrogance that their wants trump everything else, end of.

I'm in one of four houses at the end of a no through road. Our next door neighbours but one disappeared for the best part of 6 months without a word to any of us, so we had absolutely no idea how long the disruption was going to last. Apart from the noise (including loud incessant crap music and frequent swearing) their builders parked inconsiderately time and again blocking us all in, or out. There was no urgency when asked to move, repeatedly. We felt very uncomfortable using the garden because of being overlooked by scaffolding, let alone the language. We had no contact number for the neighbours, and it was hellish not knowing when the noise would stop. I work from home so I couldn't escape.

To add insult to injury when they eventually came back there wasn't any acknowledgement or apology. Nothing. And they had an all day housewarming party which was also extremely noisy. The whole bloody thing felt like 'don't mind us, we just live here'. They can whistle now if they think I'm taking their parcels in!

All it would have taken was a simple chat and some recognition we existed in close proximity.....

A warming can mean someone goes out for the day, or the week or make alternative plans - at least they are warned.

As nice as this would be its would be impossible to know when certain jobs would be being completed as you can never be 100% sure if the builders/traders will turn up or if they are stuck on another job. They could have informed the OP that the windows would be being fitted this week and she might have gone away only to come back and find that for a multitude of reasons they had to push back fitting them to next week instead.

Tbh I think it's good that they've agreed on times with you.. but their heads are probably up their arses with it all, it can be so stressful, particularly trying to get all the right people in one place, when you're fitting it around work. Any inconsiderate behaviour won't be because they're bad people, just because you get very insular when you're doing projects like this, and just want to get them done.

That being said, when our neighbours were renovating, they came around and apologised, and said it would go on for months. It did. It annoyed the hell out of me, as I work from home, but ultimately it wasn't their fault, as they needed it done.

When we were getting our kitchen done we knocked at theirs, as he works nights so sleeps in the day. I knew he'd slept at his mum's while their work was being done, and figured he might want to do the same while we were making noise - he did, so he appreciated the warning.

Whilst 1am is unreasonable, 8pm is not late for noise and I think you were being U asking them to stop before then, especially if they are doing it after work.

Yes it's annoying but it won't be forever and being neighbours is about give and take. In a few years your kid might have a horrendous party that goes on all night, for example.

I wouldn't expect to be updates about what exactly they're having done - if you know they're having work done that's enough. Likewise it would have been nice to tell you before the work started but not everyone will do this and I doubt there would be much you could do about it had you known anyway.

Doing building work until 1am is clearly outrageous. You shouldn't have to tell them that it's disturbing you it's bloody obvious it would be.