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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to get dog put to sleep.

98 replies

YourAWizzard · 30/09/2019 17:05

Basically, I have a pet dog who is almost 12 years old. Max has been a family members pet but has been with me for 6 months. He has not been properly cared for previously, not up to date with vets or walked/ fed appropriately.

Anyway, he has been with me for 6 months, and upon taking him the vet, there is a lot of treatment he needs. Firstly, the expense is just too much for me. But, also due to his age and health needs, I just feel it’s too much. The vet wants to operate to remove an eye, he has arthritis so cannot walk much, he has IBS so his poos are really runny. He needs an ultrasound on his tummy to investigate what’s going on as his tummy is very hard and bloated. He often ‘fits’ and his tongue turns blue until he comes out of it. I really want to do right by him but I feel so bad to consider putting him to sleep even though it was offered by his vet due to all of the care he needs.

What would you do? How do you know what’s for the best?

OP posts:

NoTheresa · 30/09/2019 17:06

YABU. There are other options. Ffs

LEELULUMPKIN · 30/09/2019 17:06

Have you looked into charities that might help you with the cost?

EvenPhilip · 30/09/2019 17:07

I don't really think it would be kind to keep a dog of that age with so many ailments alive tbh.

hammeringinmyhead · 30/09/2019 17:09

I would get the ultrasound. If he is riddled with cancer your decision is made then.

Grumpyoldpersonwithcats · 30/09/2019 17:10

Personally I think that just because a pet's illnesses can be treated, it doesn't always mean they should be treated.
Given the age of your dog and his general poor health I would seriously consider putting to sleep.

Span1elsRock · 30/09/2019 17:11

Did you not think an old dog was going to need a lot of veterinary care? Chances are the IBS can be sorted with a better diet. Dogs with arthritis need a comfy warm bed and painkillers, again easily sorted.

Find him a home where he can live his last years out with love and kindness.

JulietTango · 30/09/2019 17:13

I find asking the question, who am I keeping this animal alive for? Usually helps with the decision.
If the answer is me, rather than the animal it often makes the decision easier

Butchyrestingface · 30/09/2019 17:15

I would get the ultrasound. Without meaning to be harsh, perhaps adopting an older pet that has been neglected isn’t a good move for anyone who doesn’t have a plentiful supply of cash.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 30/09/2019 17:16

For me, it comes down to quality of life. If you think he still has quality of life, then you would be unreasonable to put him down - but from what you have said, it certainly sounds as if his life isn’t much fun for him. If this is the case, then it may be time to start thinking about euthanasia - if he is elderly, uncomfortable and unhappy, I’m not sure it is fair to put him through surgery for the eye, and investigations for his swollen stomach.

For me it comes down to a cost-benefit analysis - where the cost is what the animal has to go through if you choose treatment. If doing it all would give him more years, happy and pain free - that longer term benefit is worth the short term discomfort of surgery etc.

But as dogs get older and more infirm, I think that there needs to be less cost for the same benefit, if it is going to be fair to put the dog through it.

It is a difficult decision to have to make - hugs for you and your poorly dog.

Butchyrestingface · 30/09/2019 17:17

Find him a home where he can live his last years out with love and kindness.

The dog may have cancer. Until an ultrasound is performed, any notion of its happy ever after is just pie in the sky.

Namechangeforthiscancershit · 30/09/2019 17:17

Older dogs are expensive unfortunately.

It doesn't sound like he is really to be PTS. IBS can't be very serious, and arthritis certainly isn't in older dogs. Surely mostly older dogs have it, especially if he is reasonably big.

Can the vet help you rehome him?

Idontwanttotalk · 30/09/2019 17:18

I think you would be doing the kind thing in having your dog PTS and am surprised the vet hasn't suggested it.

You normally instinctively know when it is the right time, even if your dog doesn't show pain. You can tell how unhappy or happy your dog is. Are they still eating and drinking and greeting you happily?

The regular fitting and arthritis are bad enough but with IBS, which must make the dog feel uncomfortable, and now the eye, l think it is just too much for him/her to cope with.

I'm so sorry you are having to make this decision.

DriftingLeaves · 30/09/2019 17:19

YANBU. Have him PTS unless his previous owner is prepared to pay the vet's bills. It doesn't seem that he has much quality of life anyway.

Itsreallymehonest · 30/09/2019 17:19

The main questions you need to ask yourself are:
Is the dog comfortable and happy?
Are his conditions manageable?
If the answer to any of these is no, then sometime the kindest decision is to let them go.
I hope people are kind to you with this post.

KitKat1985 · 30/09/2019 17:19

To be honest to me, the fitting and hard tummy sounds like there's something (or somethings) quite serious going on. It's unlikely to be realistic to do any intensive treatment with an elderly dog, and it might be kinder to pts rather than put through any traumatic investigations.

Original poster

YourAWizzard · 30/09/2019 17:20

The dog was not adopted, a family member has work commitments so I was asked to look after him for 2 weeks, the person then decided they didn’t want him back. But it was fine, I love dogs, I love him, he was better with me than just left alone.

I think it’s best to investigate more of what is going on with his tummy, and make decisions when I have exhausted every avenue possible. I love him, no decisions would be made I a rush.

OP posts:

TheMustressMhor · 30/09/2019 17:23

This is such a difficult one to decide.

Is the pet suffering? Can the suffering be alleviated realistically, or will the dog still suffer even if he is treated?

I think you should let him have the ultrasound and go from there.

Vets are very kind when you're having trouble making up your mind about this. Be guided by the vet.

NoSquirrels · 30/09/2019 17:23

I wouldn’t think any less of you if you PTS in this situation.

Suggesting rehoming a 12-year-old dog with significant health issues who has only been with the OP for 6 months (I am assuming used to live with e.g. an elderly family member who is no longer around or capable) isn’t realistic or, in my opinion, kind to the dog.

ScreamingValenta · 30/09/2019 17:24

I agree you have to look at quality of life - is he spending more of his time happy than unhappy? I wouldn't put an elderly dog through complicated surgery with a lengthy recovery time, but I would keep him going with palliative care as long as he was enjoying a good quality of life..

Echobelly · 30/09/2019 17:25

YANBU. I would PTS - animals can't understand the treatments they're getting and I'm not sure it's fair to put them through that just to keep them with you for longer. His needs add up to an awful lot both in terms of time and money and you're not obliged to meet all of that. It's not like he's young with years to live so might at least be rehomed by someone who likes challenging cases, or it's just one thing, you're not being capricious or cruel.

Frenchfancy · 30/09/2019 17:26

YANBU. Better à day too soon than a month too late.

OnlyTheTitOfTheIceberg · 30/09/2019 17:31

Dogs with arthritis need a comfy warm bed and painkillers, again easily sorted.

That very much depends on which joints the arthritis is in and the stage it has reached. Also many of the anti-inflammatories that may be prescribed to try to control it (not always successfully) would make an IBS-type condition worse so would be contra-indicated. Not every case can be treated with a cushion and the equivalent of an aspirin.

OP, you have an ageing dog - you don't say what breed/size but in some dogs 11/12 is already well into the geriatric stage with at least one degenerative condition, who needs potentially extensive testing on stomach and brain, is apparently about to lose an eye and your vet has mentioned PTS as a reasonable option. What kind of quality of life does he have? He can't enjoy walks, food upsets his stomach and his vision is deteriorating.

In your shoes I'd have no qualms in agreeing with the vet that you'll give him a few days where you spoil him rotten and then let him go peacefully and while he still has some dignity. There are far worse fates for a seriously unwell pet than being PTS calmly and kindly in his own home ...dying during a seizure would definitely be one of them.

Chocolatelover45 · 30/09/2019 17:31

I wouldn't put an old dog through major surgery when he has so many other problems, some of which are serious. Arthritis is painful. Is the eye condition painful? The hard tummy sounds potentially painful. The fits could have several causes but all likely serious.
Plus it will cost hundreds. Don't start investigating unless you have enough to see it through otherwise it's pointless to put the dog through it. Ultrasound may lead to biopsies/surgery/xray/blood tests. It isn't as simple as a quick ultrasound.
Have a serious chat with your vet about quality of life, likely costs, palliative options. Don't feel guilty about your decision.
Ignore idiot posters banging on about removing the poor dog!

Tonnerre · 30/09/2019 17:34

YANBU. The eye operation on its own would be traumatic for the job, the fitting suggests something going on in his brain, and there could well be cancer in his abdomen. He can't be living a happy life.

Tonnerre · 30/09/2019 17:34

dog, not job. No idea how that got in there.

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