Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to get dog put to sleep.

98 replies

YourAWizzard · 30/09/2019 17:05

Basically, I have a pet dog who is almost 12 years old. Max has been a family members pet but has been with me for 6 months. He has not been properly cared for previously, not up to date with vets or walked/ fed appropriately.

Anyway, he has been with me for 6 months, and upon taking him the vet, there is a lot of treatment he needs. Firstly, the expense is just too much for me. But, also due to his age and health needs, I just feel it’s too much. The vet wants to operate to remove an eye, he has arthritis so cannot walk much, he has IBS so his poos are really runny. He needs an ultrasound on his tummy to investigate what’s going on as his tummy is very hard and bloated. He often ‘fits’ and his tongue turns blue until he comes out of it. I really want to do right by him but I feel so bad to consider putting him to sleep even though it was offered by his vet due to all of the care he needs.

What would you do? How do you know what’s for the best?

OP posts:
flumposie · 30/09/2019 18:29

I made the painful and heart breaking decision to put my beloved 15 year old pet to sleep recently. Some days I question if I did the correct thing even though the vet agreed with me. You will know if the dog has real quality of life and is in pain. When I look back now the signs were there for my pet. Thinking of you.

Alsohuman · 30/09/2019 18:29

If the vet has suggested he’s pts, I’d do it. It sounds as if the poor old boy has very little quality of life.

Itallt0omuch · 30/09/2019 18:33

I don't understand the obsession with keeping an animal alive at all costs and putting them through extensive tests and treatments. It's not always in the animals best interest. He's never going to recover from his eye, or arthritis. He's fitting and nobody knows why and he's got the stomach problem. Let the old boy go with some dignity. Don't leave him hanging on when he isn't going to get better.

DifficultSituation19 · 30/09/2019 19:08

Another thing to bear in mind is that dogs mask their pain, so if you can tell he is uncomfortable it’s probably a lot worse than it looks IYSWIM

Aridane · 30/09/2019 19:14

YANBU - regrettably time to PTS

CallMeRachel · 30/09/2019 19:24

If I were you I'd probably try switching him to a raw diet ASAP. Between that and some gentle exercise, Canine hydrotherapy can be great for stiff joints.

If he's been fed cheap processed foods and not had exercise, his IBS may improve with better care.

FunkySnidge · 30/09/2019 19:25

Is he jolly and enjoying everyday life. If so, let him plod along. If not, relieve him from his suffering.
Life doesn't have to be perfect to be worth living.

Original poster
YourAWizzard · 30/09/2019 19:26

Thank you for being sensitive with a subject that is so difficult.

He is very much loved. On our last visit the vet we were told not to walk him due to the fits. As well as the vet saying his eye is now at the stage where it has to come out. This is when it was suggested to consider putting to sleep. I have never even considered it before.

As other posters have stated, I wasn’t aware that the ultrasound may be invasive, I was quite upset at out last vet visit due to the mentioning of putting to sleep. He’s comfortable for the time, but I think I have to have some serious discussions with the vet to see exactly what investigation he would like to do, and what quality of life we can have for Max. Either way, I will make the decision for Max based on love and what’s best for him.

OP posts:
pigsDOfly · 30/09/2019 19:29

If this were my dog I'd have no hesitation in pts.

It's all about quality of life, once a dog's life has little quality it's the kindest thing to let him go because that's all he has and he's relying on you to do this last kindness for him.

I'm amazed sometimes the way some people keep their pets alive at any cost to the animal's well being. It does an animal no favours at all to keep on treating and operating once a certain stage has been reached and it sounds like your dog has reached that stage.

It's a horrible decision to have to make OP Flowers

MotherOfLittlePeople · 30/09/2019 19:30

YANBU.

It's not fair at such an age to prolong anything and if you cannot afford it, you can't afford it. Do not put your self in financial difficulty.

It's ok telling OP to find somebody else to love him and look after him but realistically what's going to happen? He will go to a charity organisation and either be left there till he dies or put to sleep. Most older dogs will not get picked by people looking for a dog unfortunately.

TeaLibrary · 30/09/2019 19:31

Strength to you op. I know making the decision to let a beloved animal go is very very hard and it hurts so much to lose them. Your compassion and your love for this old gentleman are clear.

Original poster
YourAWizzard · 30/09/2019 19:38

We weren’t prepared or expecting to have him with us this long, as I said, originally we were helping a family member out for 2 weeks while they were away with work. Upon returning they changed their mind and didn’t want him back, I did not hesitate in keeping him with us, as I said, we love him.

This is all new territory for me. Cleaning up his messes due to his low mobility and IBS is one thing, but him being in pain and having to go through hardship is another. He really is a grumpy old man, and I do want to do right by him, whatever that may be.

OP posts:
tabulahrasa · 30/09/2019 19:39

I’d definitely seriously consider having him PTS, or doing nothing invasive and keeping him as comfortable as possible until you have him PTS - that many health issues doesn’t really sound like they’re all going to be treatable tbh.

altiara · 30/09/2019 19:41

I think it’s time to PTS. Just had my cat PTS, thought to have had a tumour behind her eye and I didn’t want her to go through more scans and taking her eye out as she was quite old. Vet thought she was in a lot of pain. It’s very sad but you want them to have a good quality of life Flowers

Original poster
YourAWizzard · 30/09/2019 19:43

Thank you for all your kind words guys, I thought I was in for a good bashing when I posted this. Thanks for the understanding.

OP posts:
Honeyroar · 30/09/2019 19:50

I would 100% PTS at this point. You could do the ultrasound if you wanted to be sure, we had one on our dog last week and it was about £400, no anesthetic needed), but for me he's got too many other serious issues going on. Give him a few days of total fuss and spoiling him, then be there for him when he is quietly and calmly PTS. We had to do this for one of our dogs last week. It was very hard to make that decision but it was the right one.

ThatLibraryMiss · 30/09/2019 19:50

I'm sorry, but he's probably a poor anaesthetic risk and he has so much wrong with him. Even if you get his eye sorted and his IBS fixed and cure what's going on in his abdomen, you won't have an active healthy dog with a long life ahead of him. He'll still be an old boy with arthritis who fits and can't be walked. You'll put him through a lot of discomfort and unhappiness and the payback just won't be worth it. Give him a happy day with a roast chicken and stay with him while he slips away. I did it for my beautiful old girl recently. It was absolutely shit but it was right. If the vet's suggested it they must think it's a reasonable course of action.

Veterinari · 30/09/2019 19:58

There’s some guilt inducing nonsense on this thread..
It doesn't sound like he is really to be PTS. IBS can't be very serious, and arthritis certainly isn't in older dogs.

IBS can be very serious and toileting accidents are very distressing for dogs. Arthritis causes moderate to severe chronic pain, reduced mobility and behavioural frustration - that can certainly be pretty serious from a welfare point of view.

OP
Euthanasia is a perfectly reasonable option for an older dog with multiple health problems - better a day too early than a week too late. If he’s a grumpy old man then he’s likely grumpy for a reason and chronic pain and anxiety are likely to be adding to that.

PurpleCrazyHorse · 30/09/2019 20:00

We put our cat to sleep not so long ago. She was 12yo and had a short illness before we decided that her quality of life wasn't worth keeping her alive for.

To be honest, our usual vet took a bit of convincing but they weren't the ones having to catch a scared, sick cat and force tablets down her throat every day. She ended up frightened of us. Ongoing cost was also a consideration, we're on a reasonably tight budget and we realised too late that you need lifetime insurance to cover older cats.

DH and I talked for days about whether to put her to sleep, when we should make that decision, how to tell the children. We decided it was better for her to be PTS before she died being hit by a car on our road (busy and our cat was losing use/feeling in a back leg), or dying on her own in a corner somewhere. Other more mundane issues were also in the mix.

Basically, we felt awful and guilty. It felt like we should have done more, yet my rational brain says we couldn't. We were dealt the hand we were dealt at the time we were dealt it. You can only work with that. We would have loved more time to decide, more money, a cat who would take tablets!

Good luck OP. It isn't wrong to have an older pet PTS, sometimes taking control and making a difficult decision is the kindest thing you can do.

PurpleCrazyHorse · 30/09/2019 20:05

And also, we explained to DD how frightened our cat had got and how we couldn't explain to her what was wrong. We talked to her about how leaving our cat so frightened was probably cruel. Our cat didn't know why she was going to the vets that final time, I take some comfort in that.

ChardonnaysDistantCousin · 30/09/2019 20:09

I know it's a cliché of the highest order, but loving someone means you have to let them go when it's time.

Cherrysoup · 30/09/2019 20:11

Having put one of mine to sleep this year, I would do the same for Max. He can’t go for walks, he’s half bind, legs seized up with arthritis? He doesn’t sound like he can be happy. Being grumpy is possibly a sign of pain. The hard stomach makes me think of another dog of mine who had stomach and spinal cancer, I didn’t even hesitate when I found out. Vet straight round to the house.

It’s the hardest and bravest and best thing you can do for a much loved pet and even though you’ve not had him long, you sound like you love him.

SuzieSunshine · 30/09/2019 20:41

A truly heartbreaking decision to have to make but I agree that in these circumstances it would be much kinder for Max to have him PTS. You can be rest assured that you have given him more kindness in the last 6 months than he had ever experienced and for that you should be very proud of yourself but now is the time to let him go. Sending you strength and much love.

Fowles94 · 30/09/2019 20:55

We've got a 12 year old family dog and if he had all them issues I would agree that's the nicest thing would be to put him down. Money wouldn't come into it, it's about what's best for any living creature 💕