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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to get dog put to sleep.

98 replies

YourAWizzard · 30/09/2019 17:05

Basically, I have a pet dog who is almost 12 years old. Max has been a family members pet but has been with me for 6 months. He has not been properly cared for previously, not up to date with vets or walked/ fed appropriately.

Anyway, he has been with me for 6 months, and upon taking him the vet, there is a lot of treatment he needs. Firstly, the expense is just too much for me. But, also due to his age and health needs, I just feel it’s too much. The vet wants to operate to remove an eye, he has arthritis so cannot walk much, he has IBS so his poos are really runny. He needs an ultrasound on his tummy to investigate what’s going on as his tummy is very hard and bloated. He often ‘fits’ and his tongue turns blue until he comes out of it. I really want to do right by him but I feel so bad to consider putting him to sleep even though it was offered by his vet due to all of the care he needs.

What would you do? How do you know what’s for the best?

OP posts:

user1493494961 · 30/09/2019 17:37

He's nearly 12, he's in his final years with multiple problems, it will be kinder to put him to sleep. Don't feel guilty, it will be for the best.

Original poster

YourAWizzard · 30/09/2019 17:40

The vet will not treat the IBS until we know where we stand in regards to what is going on inside his stomach. His is blond on one eye, which is continuously becoming infected (always treated) but keeps coming back, it bleeds when is cleaned, hence the vet saying it’s about time it comes out. We cannot walk him due to him rear legs having seized up due to arthritis, but also told not to walk due to wanting to investigate the fitting.

Guys, this is not me being heartless. Again, I absolutely love the dog, he is such a character, a typical grumpy old man. My children know not to touch him and he does not like being touched. I think from reading all the replies I will do as much investigating as possible without it being too invasive, see what results we get from scans and go from there.

I am an animal lover, and for the hundredth time, I love him. But I’m human and it’s difficult seeing him deteriorate.

OP posts:

NoSquirrels · 30/09/2019 17:40

Previous owner sounds very much as if they washed their hands of their dog just as they got elderly, expensive and inconvenient. That doesn’t mean you would be doing the wrong thing PTS - if the vet has mentioned it as an option they do mean it is a valid option. Even an ultrasound - will they have to put him under anaesthetic?

Original poster

YourAWizzard · 30/09/2019 17:40

Blind not blond. Sorry.

OP posts:

NoSquirrels · 30/09/2019 17:44

Oh OP - from your last post I would 100% PTS.

To sort the eye = major op, risky, expensive, distressing.

To investigate the stomach = not cheap and probably distressing.

He can’t go out for walks, he fits, he doesn’t like being touched.

That’s just existence, not a good life.

Grumpyoldpersonwithcats · 30/09/2019 17:45

A previous poster mentioned balancing treatment against quality of life - based on your last post OP it really doesn't sound great.
You have my sympathy - it's very difficult knowing the right thing to do.

TerribleCustomerCervix · 30/09/2019 17:46

I’m not a dog lover by any stretch, but I’m shocked that someone could have an animal for ~11 years and then ditch him when he becomes inconvenient like your relative has.

I think you’ve done a good thing by taking him in and making his twilight years/months a bit more comfortable, even if you decide to pts at this stage.

OnlyTheTitOfTheIceberg · 30/09/2019 17:46

Be aware OP that he may need a general anaesthetic for ultrasounds etc, especially if he doesn't like being touched (which is an obvious pain response in itself). A GA is not a small thing to put a seriously ill dog through, and won't be cheap either.

He really does sound as though he's just existing, not living.

ChardonnaysDistantCousin · 30/09/2019 17:48

I don't think you're heartless after I read your last post.

There seems to be so much going on, and most of his conditions won't get netter even with expensive treatment, and if he's deteriorating and his quality of life is not what it was then I would consider putting him to sleep.

It's a difficult decision, but if he can't go on walks and have a cuddle, and his tummy is hard so it seems it might be painful, then what's left?

Sarahlou63 · 30/09/2019 17:49

Absolutely PTS - it's the kindness think to do.

LunaNova · 30/09/2019 17:51

I had to have my childhood dog PTS three years ago. What really helped me make the decision was the question "can she still do what she enjoys?".

Originally she started with blindness, which we managed although it was difficult, we slept downstairs with her every night so she wasn't alone because she would cry when she was left. She deteriorated quickly from being a dog who loved walks and cuddles to constantly crying, then the results came back from the vets and we had a difficult decision to make. She had a brain tumour and they could operate but a brain operation on an almost 12 year old westie posed many risks. We decided we couldn't do that to her and when we took her to the vets to be PTS it was almost like she was relieved, at least she got to go surrounded by her family, it would have broken me had she died during a brain operation, considering how she was so sad when she was alone.

Sometimes dogs just let you know it's their time, if you feel like your dog doesn't enjoy things the same anymore and his quality of life isn't going to improve with all the prodding and poking then who are you really keeping him alive for? You or him?

It's such a painful decision OP. My heart goes out to you x

RIBlue · 30/09/2019 17:51

I can’t believe people could think that you were being unreasonable! I’m a big believer in ‘better a month too early than a day too late’ and any one of his problems would make me consider PTS at his age.

26seym · 30/09/2019 17:51

I have two dogs, I've had them since pups and they are now in their doggy old age. I would not put them through excessive treatment at this age. There becomes a point where you're doing what's best for yourself and not them.

ChardonnaysDistantCousin · 30/09/2019 17:52

And in the light of all this I probably would do ultrasound on his tummy either. GA is distressing and if they diagnose him with something, then what? I wouldn't do an extensive surgery.

Blood test to check for pancreatitis? Yes. Ultrasound, no I wouldn't.

ChardonnaysDistantCousin · 30/09/2019 17:53

sorry, wouldn't do

Idontwanttotalk · 30/09/2019 17:53

OP, a dog who is not and cannot be walked is already suffering and even standing must be difficult as he must be very stiff from the arthritis. As he does not like being touched that sounds as if he is in at least discomfort if not pain. Dogs can be very stoical and not show pain. It does sound as if it is time to say your goodbyes and not put him through any more tests.

AlexaAmbidextra · 30/09/2019 17:54

I am a huge animal lover but from what you’ve described it would seem that this poor dog has a very poor quality of life. I wouldn’t be putting him through any major treatment and it really does sound as though it would be kinder to him to pts.

Beamur · 30/09/2019 17:58

I wouldn't put a dog with this many health problems through invasive tests and certainly not surgery if he is fitting. My dog is in great health compared to your old boy but the vet has already said she wouldn't be a good candidate for GA if it was needed. They've decided not to do a dental clean as she's not well enough.

StrongTea · 30/09/2019 17:59

Eye removal, one of mine has had this done due to diabetes/glaucoma. Was approx £500. If the eye is constantly getting infections probably is the best option. Arthritis treatment can be expensive. The ibs could be diet or something else going on. Also the fits, they may be controllable with the right meds. An awful lot of health problems for the dog and you to deal with. Hard decision to make, all you can do is your best.

DifficultSituation19 · 30/09/2019 18:05

My ddog was PTS last year at the age of 14.5. He’d had cancerous growths on his leg for a couple of years before that and the vet had wanted to remove them. I didn’t go for it as I didn’t want to put him through the stress of operations at that age, and he was so attached to me I couldn’t even leave him alone to go to the supermarket, let alone leave him in a cage at the vets.

I’m pleased I didn’t as in the end it was an internal tumour which burst that killed him...and that would have still happened even if the other lumps had been removed. I’m glad he got to live out his final bit of life without the stress of operations and recovering from them.

So yes I’d say it would be unfair to put a dog through that. He’s an elderly dog and it sounds like he has many different health problems. I’d keep him alive as long as he has some kind of quality of life, but better to end things a day too early than a day too late.

Original poster

YourAWizzard · 30/09/2019 18:10

When he first come home with me, I walked him regularly but noticed the fits were happening more and more, I hold him until he comes out of them but they are terrifying.

He lays with his tummy pushed out to the side as it’s became/becoming very extended, so it must be really uncomfortable to just lay normally. I’ve never considered putting him to sleep, I just wanted other opinions as to if I should consider it nor not.

OP posts:

JengaNonConfirming · 30/09/2019 18:12

Op, I don't think you'd be cruel to considering PTS at this point. What would quality of life be during and after treatments?

My girl is 12.5 years old and is just starting to get a little stiff in her back legs. When the time comes for treatment I will do it. But she hates the vets, so I've akready decided that there will be no heroics from here on in.

I hope you are able to make the best decision for your grumpy old man and that you are able to be at peace with it.

TinkerPony · 30/09/2019 18:18

Far too much health issues had developed and had been allowed to worsen over time by previous owner who did nothing to treat it or took preventive measures.
He had been neglected.
Best to put him out of his unnecessary suffering and the needless pain and trauma of surgery and further treatments.
You mention he is like grumpy old man but at the same time he is acting out that he is trying to say that he is in pain and suffering.
The fact that your children are not allow to pet him as he might snap is enough for me to say it is time to go.
Even if he went under GA for the tummy scan investigation or eye surgery it might just finish him too and it could be all for nothing.
Treat him with kindness and let him go to rainbow bridge.

FrogFairy · 30/09/2019 18:24

The kindest thing you can do is let this old boy go and rest in peace rather than putting him through the stress and pain of tests and treatment.

Original poster

YourAWizzard · 30/09/2019 18:26

Guys thanks for the constructive advice, it’s a very difficult situation. I just want what’s best for him. I know he’s happy at home, we get a little tail wag and he will sit by my eldest sons feet at times (he can’t jump up or get on sofa or anything). I feed him by hand etc.

I’m at the vets with him tomorrow to get more meds for his eye as his infection has developed again. Will take some time and really think of everything. Thanks.

OP posts:

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