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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to ask what you would spend your money on?

54 replies

LGY1 · 28/09/2019 20:00

We have found ourselves in a position where we can afford to do something with around £1,500 a month (not a brag)
Our son is 2, we live in a medium area of Leeds. Not the best, not the worst, but the location works for us with motorways. As a result to schools are just ok....
We went to look around a private school today, which is at the end of our road. It’s lovely, small class sizes etc etc he would be going into their pre school in September

Would you spend the money on:

  • Private school
  • Put our DS in state school and take him on adventures. E.g Alaska with all the trips, Far East cruises, lots of nature, not package holidays.
  • Put the money into a house in a better area & therefore better schools but both have a much longer commutes around the ring road everyday (gridlock & less time with DS)
OP posts:
RagamuffinCat · 28/09/2019 20:02

State school and adventures for me. There is so much to learn outside of school.

bluebeck · 28/09/2019 20:03

The fact the private school is at the end of the road would swing it for me lazy bitch!

In addition, if Labour become new government, at some point that school would no longer be fee paying so you could spend the money on something else?

BanginChoons · 28/09/2019 20:04

Definitely not private school. Absolutely yes to the adventures.

OMGshefoundmeout · 28/09/2019 20:04

House.

MovinOnUp · 28/09/2019 20:04

State school and adventures.
You could perhaps use the money for tutoring for him later on in life?
(If you felt that he needed it)

BrutusMcDogface · 28/09/2019 20:06

at some point that school would no longer be fee paying

I think I’ve missed something.....what now?

In answer to the op: state school and adventures HANDS DOWN.

Mileymileymoomoo · 28/09/2019 20:09

State school and adventures definitely

Marshmallow91 · 28/09/2019 20:09

Another adventures vote here!

Spied · 28/09/2019 20:10

State school and adventures.
Think of all your ds would learn and get from personally on his trips around the world and all the memories.

Whitejasmine · 28/09/2019 20:10

It depends how good the state schools are - if not good then private school

Jigglyjugs · 28/09/2019 20:11

Adventures - you can't put a price on experience!

delilahbucket · 28/09/2019 20:11

State school and adventures. I know a lot of people with kids in private schools and they all say the same, their kids are not street wise, and it concerns them. For this reason I wouldn't send my child to a private school. There's a lot to be said for life experience.

EdersonsSmileyTattoo · 28/09/2019 20:13

We are in a similar (more disposable income) position. Adventures wins for us every time. DH went to a few paying private school, did no better than me at school (I went to state school). His parents quite openly say his school fees were a waste of money and DH agrees.

Just our personal experience though.

BarbaraofSeville · 28/09/2019 20:13

Definitely not move to the other side of the city, the traffic will drive you bonkers.

I'd go for the adventures too, plus tutoring if you thought necessary.

Workerbeee · 28/09/2019 20:16

Definitely the lovely private school at the end of road - long term this may get you into a grammar school & having those adventures as a teenager could be more memorable

Original poster
LGY1 · 28/09/2019 20:33

Thanks for all the replies! Seems like adventures is the winner!
The schools aren’t great, I think one high school was in special measures a while ago, but it’s an “up and coming area” so demographic of the parents is changing & it’s a few years until he gets to high school.
We aren’t snobby about schools - my husband went to one of the worst schools in Bradford and he has excelled in work, but you want to give your child the best chances in life!

OP posts:
0ooo0 · 28/09/2019 20:33

I’d mix it up.
Private pre-school at end of road.
State primary with adventures.
Then what is best for 11+ being decided closer to the time (I’d probably be expecting to revert to private education at this point obviously depending on what your local state schools are like).

Original poster
LGY1 · 28/09/2019 20:34

@Workerbeee there aren’t any free grammar schools in Leeds unfortunately

OP posts:
pregnantncnc · 28/09/2019 20:37

What is the state school like, and how far away is it from home? What're your commutes like - will DS need before/after school care? Are you planning to have anymore children?

In your situation, I'd probably choose state school for now and save the money (while he is still SO young) towards adventures/tutors in the future. If the state school didn't work out for any reason, or your work situations changed and private made more sense, I'd go private. Especially if you plan to have anymore children and if the state school is close-ish to home.

cardamoncoffee · 28/09/2019 20:38

I would save the money for now and keep it for the amazing adventures in the future. A big holiday is wasted on a child before 7/8 I think. Nowadays the 'best start' is more about what you can afford to give them in young adulthood IMO, so a house deposit at 21 or the like would be a much better investment than private schooling.

Ikeameatballs · 28/09/2019 20:39

State school and adventures for now. Might reconsider at secondary level.

BWOB · 28/09/2019 20:40

Boringly save most of it it for the future so that if you need/want to pay for private school at secondary you can.

I would put £500 a month into an adventure pot - do a "cheap" adventure/travel thing one year and then a bigger blowout one the following year - and alternate this.

The rest I would save for future private education and/or upgrading the house/area in 9/10 years time. If you save 12k a year during that time period you will easily be able to set your son up with a great start at a decent private school.

MrsJBaptiste · 28/09/2019 20:41

I'm in Leeds and ineterested in where you live! I'm in Leeds with ok state schools locally but the nearest Private school is Leeds Grammar. My two are at our local comp (at the end of our road) and although I was unsure about it, I'm impressed and really don't think a Private school would do them much better in the long run.

I went to a fee paying school myself and have a very average job!

sansou · 28/09/2019 20:59

Save your money. At 2, he won't appreciate/remember any exotic travel. Imo, state for preschool and primary is fine since it's hardly rocket science to fill in any gaps at home. I would invest most of the £18K pa into pensions, overpay existing mortgage and S&S ISAs.

It's pretty easy to have cheap off peak holidays at the baby/toddler stage up to the end of primary ime because they are still satisfied with cheap/free activities. Once they reach secondary school stage, children become way more expensive/thrill seeking. And if you want a choice of secondary education, you'll hopefully have grown your investments in the next 8 yrs and can afford to have the luxury of choice! And there maybe further DC in the future....?

The mindset to have imo, is not to automatically spend it all but how to preserve and grow it. That's how I would view it but I'm a saver by inclination.

Graphista · 28/09/2019 21:01

Assuming both you and dh are working my first question would be if you own your home, next have you both got good life assurance and critical illness coverage?

Then I'd think have you got money set aside for if/when ds goes to uni?

I'd cover those things BEFORE considering I "had" £1500 a month spare.

Also future childcare costs have you taken them into consideration?

If you've already got all that sorted grand!

Then I'd consider if you have good state schools nearby and very much last would be "adventures" or holidays.

Quite honestly I'm of the "save it" mindset too. You never know what's around the corner.