Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

AIBU to ask what you would spend your money on?

54 replies

LGY1 · 28/09/2019 20:00

We have found ourselves in a position where we can afford to do something with around £1,500 a month (not a brag)
Our son is 2, we live in a medium area of Leeds. Not the best, not the worst, but the location works for us with motorways. As a result to schools are just ok....
We went to look around a private school today, which is at the end of our road. It’s lovely, small class sizes etc etc he would be going into their pre school in September

Would you spend the money on:

Private school
Put our DS in state school and take him on adventures. E.g Alaska with all the trips, Far East cruises, lots of nature, not package holidays.
Put the money into a house in a better area & therefore better schools but both have a much longer commutes around the ring road everyday (gridlock & less time with DS)

OP posts:

Sparkles57 · 28/09/2019 21:01

I think having “home help” so you can spend quality time with your kids would be important to me e.g. having a cleaner gardener etc

Nixen · 28/09/2019 21:05

State school and adventures. That’s what we hope to do

ToLiveInPeace · 28/09/2019 21:10

State school and adventures. As a bonus, if your financial situation ever changed, you wouldn't have to pull DC out of school.

firawla · 28/09/2019 21:13

Adventures, but save some as well. It might be more useful to have the funds for private when he gets to secondary age

Tippety · 28/09/2019 21:15

I'd save quite a bit, so state school, some fun stuff as well but while he is still quite young (and won't remember...) save for a rainy day. I wouldn't spend it just for the sake of it.

ToLiveInPeace · 28/09/2019 21:17

And what @graphista said about financial security. (What I would do is an annual adventure an save the rest for my own early retirement).

OhTheRoses · 28/09/2019 21:22

Ooh where in Leeds are you? DH grew up in the shadow of the nick, went to the local comp and has done v v well. If you have an extra 1500pcm, why not move to Adel.

user1493413286 · 28/09/2019 21:23

Adventures, savings, other things that generally improve quality of life with the idea in the back of my mind that I would consider a private secondary school if schools still weren’t great at that point

Bobthefishermanswife · 28/09/2019 21:25

Another for state school and adventures. Also a tutor if necessary later on.

ethelfleda · 28/09/2019 21:27

Following as we will be in a similar position.
DS is only two and he’ll be doing state school for the first three years at least but we will have a couple of grand each month by then as well and I’m not sure what to do for the best.

shiningstar2 · 28/09/2019 21:37

A good education increases confidence as well as helping get best results possible. Both of these things open doors. If he achieves well he can then buy the adventures for himself. I wish I had been able to send my daughter to an excellent school even if it was fee paying. She attended a fairly average comp and did ok ...teacher ...but her cousins who attended and excellent school did much better and they are lovely...modest hard working confident polite and not arrogant at all.

DuesToTheDirt · 28/09/2019 21:45

State school for primary, where it doesn't make as much difference. No big adventures for now - a 2 year old doesn't care.

Then for secondary you can do both private school and adventures.

NoSquirrels · 28/09/2019 21:46

Well, are you done having DC? If not consider if the £18,000 will stretch to private education for more than 1 DC.

What do you currently do for childcare? That would inform whether the private preschool was worth it to me - end of the road is a big winner on that score. However, if you already have childcare you know and like, and you're wavering on state school for primary instead, I probably wouldn't start down the private education path.

I think if you have a lot of disposable income, there are a lot of opportunities you can offer your DC - extra curricular clubs & activities, holidays etc - as long as you also have the TIME yourselves (or can buy in quality help for assisting with providing those opportunities if you are at work). Often people who are cash-rich yet time-poor (because of the high-paying job) opt for private education because it puts all that enrichment high up in the priorities and offers it as part of the extended school day, which can be really valuable.

So a lot depends on your position.

I'd echo Graph, though - secure your future first (pay off mortgage, boost pension savings, investments etc) before you consider it "spare" money.

dudsville · 28/09/2019 21:49

Are you saving? I'd continue the status quo and put that into savings. Dip into it occasionally, sure, but with savings you'd always be above to pay up front for whatever you want, new car, etc.

ethelfleda · 28/09/2019 22:05

State school for primary, where it doesn't make as much difference. No big adventures for now - a 2 year old doesn't care

Then for secondary you can do both private school and adventures

I reckon this is pretty much the path we will take.
Already saving for Uni for him and have income protection, and all insurances and a pension etc.
Good thread OP.

cherry2727 · 28/09/2019 22:19

We are in exactly the same position Op, £1,700 a month to spare . We have just started our Ds at a local prep to have an idea what it will be like before he officially starts school. Do you have the option to do so? We have already identified hidden costs such as wrap around care and extra clubs which inflates the cost by a fair bit !
We have however noticed how stimulated he is and how much he is thriving having only been there for a few weeks so it's a hard one!
We will still apply for a few state schools and if we get into a really good one ( religious) then we might move to state next year . It is a really tough decision as the idea of being able to get bits done around the house sounds so appealing ! On the other hand , we feel like if we close our eyes for the next few years and give him a good start he can go unto a decent state secondary school as our local state secondary schools are better than our state primaries.
Good luck with it all!

Notajogger · 28/09/2019 23:26

I would save the money for now and keep it for the amazing adventures in the future. A big holiday is wasted on a child before 7/8 I think. Nowadays the 'best start' is more about what you can afford to give them in young adulthood IMO, so a house deposit at 21 or the like would be a much better investment than private schooling

This, absolutely.

Original poster

LGY1 · 29/09/2019 09:46

@OhTheRoses we live in South West Leeds, 15 mins from the M62.
I grew up in Adel, if we moved there it would take us about an hour and half each way to work. I used to do that....I now enjoy a short commute!
We are both in locations where driving is the only option

OP posts:

Original poster

LGY1 · 29/09/2019 09:53

@OhTheRoses we have also thought about moving somewhere like Wetherby. Near the motorway and I think the schools are all good?

OP posts:

SandraOhshair · 29/09/2019 09:59

Personally, I'd move. Stick with state for all the reasons previously mentioned. The must be a middle ground of better area and an acceptable commute.

GatoFofo · 29/09/2019 10:02

State school and adventures is our chosen route. It’s working really well and the DC are doing well academically and have lots of wider life experience.

sasparilla1 · 29/09/2019 10:08

I would say state school, adventures and a better area. You can definitely do all three if you play clever.

I wentto private school and all four of my children have /are in state school. I could have afforded private but felt that the benefit didn't outweigh the cost. It's very much down to each individual child, their friendship group and their (plus your) attitude to learning.

There are so many life experiences that you'll be able to offer your child, it will be incredible.

hiddenworlds · 29/09/2019 10:12

Where do you actually live? Which are the local primary and high schools?

Soon2BeMumof3 · 29/09/2019 10:39

If your local school is decent I think you should invest the extra money and grow your wealth long term.

StCharlotte · 29/09/2019 10:42

State school and adventures for all the reasons above and it means you will also benefit directly from your money as well.

Flip

1 2 3