Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Child’s teacher at pre school is a friend of a friend AIBU

76 replies

user1465560128 · 28/09/2019 16:39

Ok so here goes first post on Mumsnet my DS has recently stared preschool at our local nursery and his teacher is a friends friend I’ve been to mutual occasions and in the past a few nights out where she has been anyway she seems lovely so no issue with that until a few days ago when I caught up with my friend who is friends with DS teacher and we were discussing how my DS was settling into nursery and how he knows his own mind well friend then said yes friends friend DS teacher said the same and then made a comment of something DS had said/done which I wasn’t aware of I just feel like my DS shouldn’t be discussed by teacher with someone out of work it wasn’t anything I didn’t want my friend to know but it could have been and that makes me quite angry as even I didn’t know what had happened had it I think I just don’t like the thought of my DS being discussed I thought teachers may have had to keep things in work but I’m not sure if I’m being un reasonable.

Any response would be great as not sure how to approach

Thanks

OP posts:
Hahaha88 · 28/09/2019 16:41

I think yabu. They both know you, it was nothing nasty. Teachers are humans too

BykerBykerOoh · 28/09/2019 16:41

Unless she was talking about your son’s medical condition, YABU.

Stargazing2305 · 28/09/2019 16:42

@hahaha88 thank you for your response I appreciate that maybe just taking it to heart thanks

Tistheseason17 · 28/09/2019 16:42

YANBU about this - I would not be happy either. Teachers have confidentiality guidelines, too.

GreenTulips · 28/09/2019 16:43

Nothing wrong with chatting about a friends child
Teachers get a hard enough time as it is

hazell42 · 28/09/2019 16:43

You are overthinking.
Doubt the teacher is that bothered
Perhaps your friend asked how he was getting on?
In about 2 weeks it will be old news and they I'll never ask again

ilovesooty · 28/09/2019 16:44

I don't think you're unreasonable actually not to want this professional to discuss your child with your friend.

Stargazing2305 · 28/09/2019 16:44

I think it’s the fact I didn’t even know about it so found it a bit odd that it was mentioned to someone else as if it was an issue I as the parent would of wanted to know by the teacher not a friend thanks

GinNotGym19 · 28/09/2019 16:45

I don’t think you are unreasonable! I don’t think they are allowed to be discussing your son id have a word with the manager. Something like this happened when a mum was a dinner lady at school then started telling everyone what people’s kids were getting up to, it went down like a sack of shit!

Stargazing2305 · 28/09/2019 16:47

@GinNotGym19 thanks yeah that’s what I don’t want to be happening I don’t want son to be discussed good or bad if I’m honest especially when I as mum hadn’t been told anything about it I would rather nip it in the bud now!

Bubblysqueak · 28/09/2019 16:49

The nursery worker is breaking confidentiality rules. She should not be discussing your son with anyone who does not work at the nursery. I would be complaining to management ( I used to be deputy manager of.a nursery and this type of thing would result in disciplinary action).

DerbyshireOatcake · 28/09/2019 16:49

You are definitely not being unreasonable- that was totally unprofessional. I work in an early years setting and that would be against all of our policies and we'd be subject to the disciplinary procedure.

DerbyshireOatcake · 28/09/2019 16:50

@Bubblysqueak cross posted!

Walkerbean16 · 28/09/2019 16:50

Have you had a name change fail op?

PuffHuffle5 · 28/09/2019 16:50

YANBU. It’s doesnt matter that she’s a mutual friend. The teacher shouldn’t be discussing your child with anyone except you, colleagues or other relevant professionals.

cantfindname · 28/09/2019 16:51

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Walkerbean16 · 28/09/2019 16:52

And no she shouldn't be discussing your child. Maybe mention it to the manager.

Stargazing2305 · 28/09/2019 16:52

@Walkerbean16 sorry what does that mean?

Stargazing2305 · 28/09/2019 16:53

@cantfindname sorry trying to multi task feeding baby who keeps wanting to swap boobs sorry if my punctuation has offended you 😩

Walkerbean16 · 28/09/2019 16:53

You posted under one name and are replying under another.

Stargazing2305 · 28/09/2019 16:55

Yes sorry new to this changed name.

coconuttelegraph · 28/09/2019 16:55

There was a similar thread the other day and most posters said the childcare person (I can't remember if it was a teacher of TA) was totally out of order, funny that on a different day you get a very different response

lyralalala · 28/09/2019 16:55

YANBU - she shouldn't be discussing your child at all. She certainly shouldn't be discussing things he'd done with her friend. I'd be annoyed with that.

TheMustressMhor · 28/09/2019 16:56

Have you realised that you have a name-change-fail here, OP?

Charmatt · 28/09/2019 16:57

I've been the teacher in this situation and I think your friend's friend is in the wrong. She's breaching confidentiality.

She wouldn't discuss other children with her would she? It's because your friend knows your son. She is treating your son unfairly!

Swipe left for the next trending thread