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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Visiting dog pooped in my sons room. No one mentioned it...

82 replies

Toooldfornonsense · 28/09/2019 15:21

More of a WWYD but let’s see how this pans out...

Myself and my husband work long hours and do crossover shifts which means we don’t need to pay childcare. This includes one day a week where parents come and pick up our children from school.
My parents are more than we deserve and offered to look after our children for a week whilst myself and my husband went on holiday for a week by ourselves ( it’s very rare we use our work holiday together and I’m under no illusion - we are extremely lucky to a) have parents that can and will offer to do this and b) be able to afford said holiday).
A couple of days before the holiday my mother asked if I’d heard from my sister about her and my young nephew staying whilst we were away. I said I hadn’t and that
it wouldn’t be a problem but it was a problem that she hadn’t mentioned herself. Not long after the call she text to ask... said it was ok. No problem. She said she’d stay in my youngest child’s bedroom with my nephew and my youngest child would sleep I bunk beds with my oldest.
Fast forward to return from holiday and I walked into my oldest sons room which stinks of what can only be described as sick. Waited until my son came home from school and asked if anyone had been sick in his room. He looked very uncomfortable at the question (he is only 8) and after a few questions admitted that my sisters dog had had diarrhoea on his bedroom floor in the night two days before we got back. Apparently there were multiple clean up attempts but the carpet is ruined and the rooms still stinks after multiple attempts by myself to clean it.
The problem I have is that no one has said anything about it (don’t blame my parents, they do a lot for us and it’s not their place. It’s not their dog). My sister on the other hand, left the morning her dog made and mess and had not text to say about the accident or say sorry since. She hadn’t even said thanks for staying at our house (which she wouldn’t have told us hadn’t parents not said. Nor has she mentioned the mess her dog made). I’m so mad about this. What is the best way to approach it?

OP posts:
AlmostAJillSandwich · 28/09/2019 15:25

Send a breezy text asking when you can expect the bank transfer to cover the costs of the new carpet to replace the one her dog has ruined.

Smelborp · 28/09/2019 15:27

I would also say that the carpet is ruined and ask for the money to replace. I might take a different approach if she’d been polite and contrite, but she invited herself and has been really rude.

Beautiful3 · 28/09/2019 15:52

Ask her to please replace the carpet. If she refuses then never have her stay again.

Original poster
Toooldfornonsense · 28/09/2019 15:57

Would it change the goal posts if I have a holiday booked with her, my nephew and both my kids on February? Awkward.com

OP posts:
ChildminderMum · 28/09/2019 15:58

If it was my sister I'd have been straight on the phone to say hey, your dog shit on my carpet!!!

ChildminderMum · 28/09/2019 15:59

If you're close enough to go on holiday together surely you are close enough to talk to her? It's not like it's distant relative that you might be awkward with Confused

sheshootssheimplores · 28/09/2019 16:00

Have the carpet professionally cleaned. Ask her to pay for it.

TerribleCustomerCervix · 28/09/2019 16:01

Why would you pussy foot around this?

If I let my dog shit on my sister’s carpet and fucked off without a) cleaning it properly or b) letting me know, the least I’d expect would be a terse text.

Too right I’d bring it up with her- Feb is four months away!

Laiste · 28/09/2019 16:04

Text:
''[sister], the carpet still stinks after the dog shit incident and we think it's going to need replacing. Sorry but we'll have to ask you to cover the cost. I know it's awkward but we can't live with that smell. When can you sort it out?''

Original poster
Toooldfornonsense · 28/09/2019 16:05

To be fair we’re not that close. Our relationship as children was combative and wasn’t great. As we’ve gotten older and moved away from each other we have intermittent contact which is pleasant. This is particularly because our children get on and it’s important for me for them to have a good relationship (we didn’t have relationship with any of our cousins). We have very different lives and I think this adds to the lack of contact outside of certain plans

OP posts:
readingismycardio · 28/09/2019 16:06

Even if you're not that close she needs to pay for the damage, this is disgusting. Of course, it can happen, no biggie, but you need to take responsibility for your children & pets!

Windydaysuponus · 28/09/2019 16:07

Not sure I would holiday with someone with such little respect for me tbh.
Replace carpet and send her an invoice.

MercyBookoo · 28/09/2019 16:08

Ring her up “Hiya! How are you? Etc..... anyway just to say the carpet in Bens room still really stinks.... obviously we’ll try everything before we replace the carpet because I know you’re not made of money..... but something needs doing.... do you want to organise the carpet cleaning people or shall I do it and just get them to send you the bill....?”

Cherrysoup · 28/09/2019 16:08

Ask her why she didn’t mention it and tell her you need to replace the carpet. Wait for her to answer this. Big pause on phone normally elicits an answer.

Redken24 · 28/09/2019 16:09

A dog shat on your carpet. Your child's carpet. Tell her straight ask her how that happened and what she's going to do to fix it? Don't be passive aggressive dont send any sly texts just say I know this happend, and it was not OK for my kid to have to hide it.

Chamomileteaplease · 28/09/2019 16:14

Some PP have given some well worded text suggestions.

I would also consider whether you really want to go on holiday with this woman and perhaps try to facilitate cousin relationships in a less full on manner.

MaidenMotherCrone · 28/09/2019 16:15

I'd channel my inner Nessa

'Oi....Sister..... the dog shat on the carpet..... fucking ruined....like I said to John Prescott....do the right thing man..... sort your shit out' Smile

WindsweptEgret · 28/09/2019 16:15

She let her dog in a carpeted area, there was no need for that in the first place. YANBU, she should pay for it to be professionally cleaned, or replaced if it is beyond saving.

Branleuse · 28/09/2019 16:23

text her "you could have bloody told me that your dog has shat everywhere and ruined my sons carpet. Why would you not think to mention that, let alone not get it cleaned or replaced before I got back"

MutedUser · 28/09/2019 16:23

There is stuff you can get specially for this problem , you can buy it from Pets at Home it Amazon . Would she buy you some? That would be fair I think. Then if that doesn’t work she should replace the carpet .

NoSauce · 28/09/2019 16:23

Ask her to replace the carpet?? That’s very dramatic surely. You could ask her to pay for it to be cleaned I guess but nothing more.

TopBitchoftheWitches · 28/09/2019 16:24

Your sister needs to pay for a professional cleaner at the very least.

Derbee · 28/09/2019 16:29

I would rent a rug doctor, and clean the carpet. You could teller you expect her to pay for the rental. I would still go on the holiday in Feb because why shouldn’t you? But I would NEVER allow her to stay again

WindsweptEgret · 28/09/2019 16:29

Ask her to replace the carpet?? That’s very dramatic surely. You could ask her to pay for it to be cleaned I guess but nothing more.
And if that doesn't work? I'd agree with you if a child had had an accident or been sick, but a dog needn't be in a bedroom at all.

Lulualla · 28/09/2019 16:30

Text her to say what you said here.
That you got home and the stench from the bedroom was shocking, especially as no one had told you about it. You have cleaned it multiple times but the carpet is ruined. Then tell her you will be going to pick a new carpet and invite her to come along so she can pay, or ask her to send you the amount in advance.