Visiting dog pooped in my sons room. No one mentioned it...

[Toooldfornonsense]

More of a WWYD but let’s see how this pans out...

Myself and my husband work long hours and do crossover shifts which means we don’t need to pay childcare. This includes one day a week where parents come and pick up our children from school.
My parents are more than we deserve and offered to look after our children for a week whilst myself and my husband went on holiday for a week by ourselves ( it’s very rare we use our work holiday together and I’m under no illusion - we are extremely lucky to a) have parents that can and will offer to do this and b) be able to afford said holiday).
A couple of days before the holiday my mother asked if I’d heard from my sister about her and my young nephew staying whilst we were away. I said I hadn’t and that
it wouldn’t be a problem but it was a problem that she hadn’t mentioned herself. Not long after the call she text to ask... said it was ok. No problem. She said she’d stay in my youngest child’s bedroom with my nephew and my youngest child would sleep I bunk beds with my oldest.
Fast forward to return from holiday and I walked into my oldest sons room which stinks of what can only be described as sick. Waited until my son came home from school and asked if anyone had been sick in his room. He looked very uncomfortable at the question (he is only 8) and after a few questions admitted that my sisters dog had had diarrhoea on his bedroom floor in the night two days before we got back. Apparently there were multiple clean up attempts but the carpet is ruined and the rooms still stinks after multiple attempts by myself to clean it.
The problem I have is that no one has said anything about it (don’t blame my parents, they do a lot for us and it’s not their place. It’s not their dog). My sister on the other hand, left the morning her dog made and mess and had not text to say about the accident or say sorry since. She hadn’t even said thanks for staying at our house (which she wouldn’t have told us hadn’t parents not said. Nor has she mentioned the mess her dog made). I’m so mad about this. What is the best way to approach it?

I think you really have to say something to your sister. I get all the political issues, but she's treated you appallingly and clearly she acts like this because the you're treading on egg shells with her. Your parents have got the measure of her because they're making sure you're aware of her CF plans.

Hi sis, the carpet in DS's room is ruined. We've been trying for days to get the smell out and nothing's worked. You'll have to pay for a new carpet I'm afraid.

And then NEVER let her stay in your house again. She clearly has no respect and doesn't give a shit what you think.

In the meantime, if you sprinkle large quantities of bicarbonate of soda over the whole area it will absorb and neutralise a lot of the smell. Leave 24 hours, vacuum, repeat etc. Until you can sort out professional cleaner or replacement. Your sister is bang out of order.

@SunshineCake thank you. That’s a really interesting view and actually quite understandable. I wouldn’t want my children treated like this

Id have been on the phone and demanding she replace the entire bloody carpet .. she's a dirty manky bitch expecting your poor Son to have his bedroom defecated and just left to sleep in like that?! Who the fuck does she think she is ? how can she believe this is reasonable behaviour?! she is fucking disgusting OP.

Grow some balls and phone her right now, and don't ASK her TELL HER she's paying for a new carpet.

Big hugs to your poor Son, he must feel ill sleeping in that rotten bedroom.

@Adoptthisdogornot thank you! I’ll be trying that right now

I think putting up with crap from your sister so the children can be friends is understandable but silly. Your kids learn that mummy is treated like shit so they can have friends. Not great.

Spot On

@bumblebeee69 Oldest son had been moved to a different bedroom for the time being but yes, I’m angry he had to sleep with the smell. It’s unforgivable

I have a Bissell carpet shampooer which works really good for 'pet stains'.

One of my dogs was whining to go out a few days ago and I popped into the bathroom for a few minutes and when I came out she had runny poo on my lovely living room/dining room carpet. I cleaned up the more solid mess but the rest had gone deep into the carpet. I don't know how I would have removed it without the shampooer. It's much cheaper than replacing $5,000 worth of fitted carpet that's for sure.

www.bissell.com/tv/revolution/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=Shopping+Revolution%2BUS%2BENG%2BSPART&utm_term=PRODUCT_GROUP&PID=google_Shopping+Revolution%2BUS%2BENG%2BSPART&gclid=EAIaIQobChMI87Sh-fDz5AIVhKDsCh3q7wLNEAQYAyABEgJHsvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds

What was her reason for wanting to stay at yours?

To see parents, for the kids to see each other?

Just seems an odd thing to do!

I stayed with a friend recently, left whilst they were at work & thought that I had forgotten to wash up before I left.

(One plate, one cup, knife & fork).

Felt awful about that & had sent a message to warn them that there might be unwashed pots!

Has your mother confirmed that it was the dog, @Toooldfornonsense?

Oldest son had been moved to a different bedroom for the time being but yes, I’m angry he had to sleep with the smell. It’s unforgivable

that's good, poor soul .. I hope the bi-carb works

@Toooldfornonsense - thank you for replying to my comment. I am relieved you weren't upset by it.

Maybe try bicarbonate until you can get the carpet professionally cleaned or replaced.

@diddl so:

To see kids predominately. She and my parents are on holiday for 10 days next week. She has a fractured relationship with her “would be mother in law” but the more I see this type of behaviour, the more I see why said mother in law would act like she does...

@SunshineCake seriously so happy so see some replies that make sense. It’s really appreciated

@Butchyrestingface yes, mother confirmed it was the visiting dog

I was wondering if she was hoping to muscle in on some free childcare so that you weren't the only one getting some!

I just can't fathom how people dare behave like this-well, no repercussions I guess.

Would she leave dog shit in her own house for someone else to clean up?

I guess it's no surprise that she said nothing if she can't even ask to stay over!

@Butchyrestingface yes, mother confirmed it was the visiting dog

In that case, fill yer boots and bill her for a carpet that wouldn't look out of place in the Palais de Versailles. 👍

Phone her.
Say to her calmly and without raising your voice over the phone why she was under the impression that when she was allowed to stay in your house while you were on holidays, she thought her dog was too? If it was under the weather, she should have stayed at home and looked after the dog, not bring a sick animal to your house. Also, if it was sick enough to have diarrhea, it should have been left in the kitchen with newspapers all over the floor so it was easy to clean up after. Not in a carpeted bedroom.

Ask her what she plans to do to sort out the issue? Her nephew is sleeping in a room that her dog defecated in and the stench is unbearable, especially a few days after this happened.

Let her answer.

If her answer doesn't match what you would expect from her (either paying to get it cleaned, paying the hire costs of a cleaning machine or replacing the carpet) then you have to set out your stall and say that you're not happy with that and tell her what you expect from her.

Then, contact your parents, tell them what you've said to your sister and say that they are not to pay for whatever your sister has agreed to as it is her mess, not theirs to sort out and your just letting them know in case she approaches them to pay for it.

Next time, don't let her stay or if you do, lock the rooms that you don't want her in and set clear house rules in relation to pets and visitors.

Your poor son. That is utterly disgusting and unacceptable.

From your OP - you say your little boy looked very uncomfortable when questioned about it - do you think he was asked to keep it a secret ? - Because that would definitely not be on.

Anyway as everyone has said professional cleaning or replace carpet. I found my vax worked well on my carpet when my dog was a puppy and had the odd accident - but obviously I always dealt with it straight away, might be more difficult as it was there a while.

I can't understand why your sister didn't hire a carpet cleaner from the supermarket or wherever and at least try to sort it, She sounds like a total idiot (one who has no concept of cleaning and can't look after a dog properly). And poor kids having to sleep in a horrible smell

Look, whilst I can see your sister has been a total selfish inconsiderate twat and should apologise, the fact is that this kind of thing is generally supposed to be covered by insurance. If your sister had damaged something a lot more expensive eg left bath taps on and gone out for the day then you would not hesitate with the insurance.

1. Get your ds a new carpet, either on the insurance or you pay for it. In the event you get it on the insurance, you should ask your sister for the excess. In the event that you are unable to get it on insurance, you could ask sister for recompense. Either way, your son needs a new carpet now.

2. Don't allow your sister in your house again unless you are there.

I think its really bad form not to mention it at all. Frankly I'd ask her to politely but firmly to pay for a new carpet.

You really must bite the bullet and pull her up on this. So far she has

1. only asked about staying after a massive prod from you mum- she had full intentions of staying with or without your permission
2. slept where you did not want her to 3)not looked after her dog properly or at all based on your son hearing it cry
3. not even mentioned the incident never mind made any real attempt to fix it
4. possibly pressurised your son to say nothing about it

Totally unacceptable, please don't let yourself home and children be disrespected in this way. What is your mum saying about all this - she is partly complicit, your sister has form!!

As an aside , poor dog! I know mine has been distressed if he has had an accident in the house due to a stomach upset, and it sounds as though he tried to get outside and was ignored!

Professional cleaning would probably be cheaper than replacing the carpet and is very likely to work.

I’d be insisting on her paying for a professional clean and if that didn’t sort the issue discussing a significant contribution to a new carpet. But I’d have thought that a professional cleaning will sort it. I’d let her know how unimpressed I am with her failure to admit it.

I’m with MercyBookoo!