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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be wary of making any further payments?

570 replies

Abcdefgfedcba · 28/09/2019 08:46

I've been very stupid by not keeping a log of everything and am now in a real pickle.

A friend allowed me to purchase items on a catalogue in her name. This was various items over 12 months. I was not the only person, which means the payments made monthly onto the catalogue were for various peoples orders.

I stupidly didn't keep a record of what was bought and what was paid back.

I've asked a few times now for her to send me information of the total cost, along with payments made towards that. She keeps saying she will do this, but never does.

She's not messaging me up to 10 times a day saying I need to pay at least 100 per month because I owe her over 2k.

Looking at my bank statements I have already paid back over 1k.

I ordered clothing, kids Xmas presents last year, a smart watch, laptop.

Am I Being a terrible person to not want to keep putting money into her bank without seeing proof of how much I owe at least?

I'm worried that I'll end up paying money back indefinitely even after clearing the balance.

I'm grateful that I had the opportunity to buy things on the catalogue, but I just want a statement or something to show where I'm up to.

I now feel harassed and stressed by the constant texts. Should I just put more money into her bank?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
mummmy2017 · 28/09/2019 18:39

Get a book write down each item.
And how much the repayments were each week...
Then an account for your payments...
Work out how many say Fridays in a month,
Some have 4 some have 5.
Apply that number of payments from the money you paid, any extra money goes to pay off the oldest item first....
So say 4 weeks at £80, then you would have £20 extra paid, that would come off the laptop you bought first....
If it was 12 months interest free, make sure you tell her that you consider it paid off while still interest free...

Pay of the account due for each item

Huggybear16 · 28/09/2019 19:02

Maybe she hasn't actually paid any of this off and has been pocketing the money everyone has been giving her too

I think @hardyloveit may be right.
You've been giving her £100+ per month, but she's not paying it all into her catalogue account. She doesn't want you to see this.

lovemenorca · 28/09/2019 19:08

But who cares if she’s not paying it off? Not the OP’s problem.

BumbleBeee69 · 28/09/2019 19:26

OP why are you paying for things that SHE cannot prove you bought ? I'd personally stop paying until she gives you clear concrete payment evidence. She can't prove you ordered all that stuff right.. STOP Paying now. If her Husband comes round you hit 999 ... every timeFlowers

valleysareus · 28/09/2019 19:30

Ask for the login details again, tell her she can change her password once you've finished. Then make a list of what you've ordered.

OnTheBorderline · 28/09/2019 19:35

Definitely don't give her any money until she can give you evidence of how much you still owe PLUS how much you've paid, and make sure that corresponds with your bank records. If she won't do that then it's her problem, I would be surprised if she wasn't up to something here.

ermwhatda · 28/09/2019 20:01

our household uses a catalogue (very), and we receive paper statements in the post every month, plus we can access the account online. Everything is listed, item by item, what date it was bought, and it sets out how much we need to pay to take advantage of the interest free period.

For large orders (usually over 250 pounds) there's a year interest-free, and under £250 there's different rates, some are 9 months, some are six months interest-free, depending on the overall order value.

It sounds like your order would be a year interest free, as it was a high value order.

Ask friend to meet in a public place, take your laptop, or ask her to bring hers, and go through the account working out what you have to pay. Then, try and clear the balance before the end of the interest free period, if you can.

If she won't do this, then she's got the problem -- not you. You're not liable for her debts, legally, even if, technically, you still owe her money.

Grumpos · 28/09/2019 20:13

She can EASILY see past orders by just logging in and viewing account / orders.
Then you could just tick off what what yours, add up the total and work out the monthly payment plus any interest.

The fact she won’t share her log in details or just print you off a copy of the order history to review yourself means she’s got something going on.

Ask her one last time nicely - I need the order history to see my total amount and work out my balances please.
If she refuses then refuse to pay anything additionally until she relents. You could always ask - have you got yourself into an issue with this? Should we sit and look at it together?...just to give her the opportunity to own up to anything dodgy first

MiniCooperLover · 28/09/2019 20:37

It's not surprising she's refusing to meet up, it's because she's worried you're going to stand up for yourself and say you're finished. Find a backbone and stand up yourself. You've clearly paid far too much.

Original poster
Abcdefgfedcba · 28/09/2019 20:49

I paid 100 this morning because some of the posts made me sound like a scam artist.

As expected she now hasn't replied to any contact as she's now gotten what she wanted for the month.

I probably won't hear from her now until end of the month.

OP posts:
diddl · 28/09/2019 20:58

"You've clearly paid far too much."

There's no evidence of that though is there?

Original poster
Abcdefgfedcba · 28/09/2019 21:05

diddl.. I can't confidently say if I have or haven't paid for everything I ordered.

Seeing a statement would really help, but I can't force her to show me that.

OP posts:
AstridAsterson · 28/09/2019 21:07

I probably won't hear from her now until end of the month.

How is she your friend, then?

Tell her you aren't paying until she gives you an accurate, up to date summary of what is owed, and ignore any message that isnt that.

Original poster
Abcdefgfedcba · 28/09/2019 21:13

Okay so I said friend but she's more of an acquaintance I was seeing most days. I didn't want to state the exact relationship as that makes it way more outing..

OP posts:
1Morewineplease · 28/09/2019 21:20

I would contact the catalogue company with your concerns. They would take a very dim view of your ‘friend’ and it would help you with further legal enquires. Halt further payments and inform the company that you have done so. They may give you advice ... but also seek CAB advice like other PPs have suggested.
Yes you have been a tad slack , but appreciate that you were trusting. The catalogue company will take a very dim view, particularly as their terms and conditions are very strict with their agents. It sounds like your ‘friend ‘ has ignored their terms and conditions. Get help immediately.

Lulualla · 28/09/2019 21:29

@1Morewineplease
What?

Her friend has a credit account with Very. She ordered things, which were charged for her friend's account. She didn't keep track of what she had ordered or the price, so doesn't actually know how much of her friend's money she has spent.

Very won't care. It's all been paid using credit by the friend, on the friend's account. They won't even speak to the OP about it as it is not her account. They also won't care that the woman ordered stuff for a friend. Their credit agreement is with the friend. It doesn't matter how that women chooses to spend it.

But OP was placing orders using her friend's credit and didn't bother to add up everything she has spent. If it is not paid off, her friend is stuck with the bill. But by the sounds of it, she has allowed multiple people to order atuff and will be paying interest on lots of products bought by lots of people so can't actually give OP a figure. The whole thing is stupid mess and they've all acted like idiots. But it has nothing to do with the company.

hittheroadjack1 · 28/09/2019 22:08

Is she a loan shark op? She sounds like it

1Morewineplease · 28/09/2019 22:10

Maybe vicarious liability? The company will not be happy with customers being potentially hoodwinked by one of their agents who is amassing orders in his/her own name.

Ellisandra · 28/09/2019 22:50

@1Morewineplease vicarious liability? Did you get your law degree from a Groupon offer?

Nothing OP has said, suggests the women with the catalogue was a Very agent. Not least because Very don’t use that agent model. But also I think the OP would have by now if she’d signed a CCA with her ‘friend’.

This is NOTHING to do with Very.

If I come up to you in Wetherspoons and say “give us a tenner, I’ll get your drinks for you”, then head out of the door with your money - the pub isn’t going to give you your money back.

It’s nothing to do with Very.

mummmy2017 · 28/09/2019 23:36

Hope this help, but if you need me to change the amounts send me a message...
The clothing and others I put as being bought after Xmas.
There is a weekly amount, taken as payable every Friday so some months are 4 and some are 5.

To be wary of making any further payments?
TiddyTid · 28/09/2019 23:44

Seeing a statement would really help, but I can't force her to show me that.

And she can't force you to keep paying either. This is not on her terms OP.

ScreamingValenta · 28/09/2019 23:52

mummmy2017 I just wanted to say that your work in producing accounting figures for the OP is awesome.

timeisnotaline · 28/09/2019 23:53

Seeing a statement would really help, but I can't force her to show me that.
And she can’t force you to pay. I am all in favour of paying what you owe but I would say this will be my past payment until we can see the accounts. I’ve asked lots of times and am uncomfortable with continuing to pay without any clear balance breakdown. Let me know when we can meet this month, in a cafe with WiFi and bring your laptop please.

mummmy2017 · 28/09/2019 23:55

I love maths.
And most accounts run on a weekly figure.
I used the OPs figures to do a rough spreadsheet....
If the OP pays off the smaller amount, three items are fully paid up.

user1486131602 · 29/09/2019 00:26

If they were delivered directly to you, do you still have the delivery notes? You should know what catalogue she ordered from? Call them !
Explain; that you would like to make sure you pay her what you owe, but she won’t help in that regard, ask them to give you the orders costs and date. I think free etc regarding only your deliveries, data protection etc....that might make things clearer