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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I continue working with a client I find attractive?

93 replies

dissilusionedlawyer1 · 27/09/2019 22:04

Name change for obvious reasons. And by client I mean criminal, he's just this week been sentenced to 6 years in custody.
For some background, I've worked with this client for around a year and knew from the first meeting we had that we would get on, sometimes you just click with people.
Thought he was attractive but furthermore we "clicked" and I think this makes people automatically more attractive.
Out Professional relationship, can I state, has always stayed at that, however in recent months there have been some comments I've found hard to ignore, such as;

  • Seen him in a bar one evening in our town when I was with non-work friends, I instantly left and went into another. The next day I seen him for a meeting and said, if we see each other in that context, can the least inconvenienced party just leave. His response was along the lines of "that's a shame, was looking forward to a drink with you".
Then he brought it up a week later in a similar context. Few weeks later again we're talking about a funny experience he had had at the weekend, he said "would love to take you there to show you, but that would be unprofessional wouldn't it?" I ignored his comment and continued a separate conversation. The point I'm trying to make is, that if this man wasn't attractive I would have shut him down a while ago or changed client. But seemingly we're both aware we're attracted to each other without having said a word, I'm allowing him to cross a professional boundary? In all other ways I have a excellent relationship with him and would be abit gutted if it had to end but the logic in me says, I'm being unprofessional for it to continue. AIBU to continue with him as a client?
OP posts:
Boobindoop · 28/09/2019 16:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

colourlessgreenidea · 28/09/2019 16:53

She’s certainly claiming to be a lawyer.

“And I am Marie of Romania”

Ah, I love a bit of Dotty P Wink

DareDevil223 · 28/09/2019 17:12

@TheMustressMhor

Well her username is the Disillusioned Lawyer (well close anyway as Disillusioned is spelt incorrectly) so she's certainly trying to claim that.

boujie · 28/09/2019 17:14

I think it's odd that you find someone attractive when you know objectively that he's a shitty person, and that lapse of judgment makes me think you shouldn't be working with him.

It's for his good as well as yours - you need to be able to be objective, and you clearly aren't.

Butchyrestingface · 28/09/2019 17:17

I think it's odd that you find someone attractive when you know objectively that he's a shitty person,

The heart wants what the heart wants. And this OP wants a stretch of solitary and slopping out at Her Majesty's Pleasure.

ClipboardPrefectJaneDoe · 28/09/2019 17:21

Grin well that was entertaining.

cannotwaitanylonger · 28/09/2019 17:33

I play a large part in his eventual release and I would like to see him properly represented

Let someone else do the representing ... it can only end in tears

cheesewitheverything · 28/09/2019 17:53

Be very careful, OP. You sound as if you are boasting about this special relationship you have. It is already very wrong and stupid.

FlyingNorth · 28/09/2019 18:25

I play a large part in his eventual release and I would like to see him properly represented
This sums up your conflict nicely. You are ethically obliged to step away. (Assuming you are his legal representative, which you haven't confirmed.) Also agree with a pp who said that you really need to get this thread pulled, if this situation is real. MN is not unhackable and you've put some very sensitive stuff on here.

Rachelover60 · 28/09/2019 18:38

Butchyrestingface
I think it's odd that you find someone attractive when you know objectively that he's a shitty person,

The heart wants what the heart wants. And this OP wants a stretch of solitary and slopping out at Her Majesty's Pleasure.
..........

That made me laugh. It's amazing how sometimes quite reasonable people are captivated by 'bad boys'; they believe the person has turned over a new leaf and if they were with them, there would be no trouble.

I daresay it's true sometimes but not often.

CircleofWillis · 29/09/2019 03:50

This won't end well. Look at what happened to Harley Quinn.

CircleofWillis · 29/09/2019 03:54

Or Phaedra and Apollo from the real housewives of Atlanta.

MyOtherProfile · 29/09/2019 04:06

Back off OP. Do the right thing. He will be fine with someone else handling his case and handling his everything else too

However to those insisting OP can't be a lawyer, back off too. She has already mentioned her dyslexia. If you throw any kind of regional accent into the mix you easily end up with such phrases as I seen instead of I saw.

I have a friend with a PhD and a very academic job but also dyslexic. Sometimes when she messages me I struggle to make sense of her messages.

I have a friend who is a teacher from the east end of London and despite her qualifications she writes with her East London voice and makes lots of grammatical "mistakes".

BetsyBigNose · 29/09/2019 04:18

Are you his Probation Officer?

You sound horribly naive. You are well aware of how inappropriate this whole situation is, it's already affecting your professionalism and it sounds like you're fully prepared to let it affect how much effort you put into making sure he's released, when the time comes. What if he's still a risk to the public? What if he commits a violent act in prison? Will you still be championing him? It's clearly clouding your judgement already. If I knew you IRL, I would be reporting you to your Professional Body.

As PPs have mentioned, he's obviously grooming you - and you're falling for it! Surely you've had training on how to deal with this sort of behaviour? You should be implementing what you've been taught and yes - that means you can no longer be involved in his case.

Toastymash · 29/09/2019 04:24

Why do people make up these stupid stories? Surely for it to be entertaining there needs to be a comedic element to it?

Maybe there's an "in" joke that we don't get...

colourlessgreenidea · 29/09/2019 07:10

Why do people make up these stupid stories?

Because, inexplicably, people believe them! Confused

Farahilda · 29/09/2019 07:27

He's grooming you to see if you will run contraband into prison

Do you really want to wreck everything?

As to have his case reassigned

Missingsandraohingreys · 29/09/2019 07:32

OP has
Just asked a question

And she knows the answer already. You
Can’t help it if you fancy someome !

No need for the nastiness

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