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AIBU?

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Original poster

To ask for a head wobble over holiday romance

56 replies

Wobblemydamnhead · 27/09/2019 05:39

Separated from long term partner in Jan.

Had a long weekend away in NYC a couple of weeks ago with some friends while he had the kids. Had a bit of a holiday romance. I’m probably using the word ‘romance’ a bit loosely. It was an extremely (erm....) enthusiastic and enjoyable series of night spent together (some going out with our groups of friends too though). I’ve never in my days experienced chemistry like it.

I wasn’t expecting to ever hear from him again and wrote it off as a fantastic weekend but a one-off.

I was completely shocked when he did get in touch when I got home and has kept in touch quite a lot.

The problem is I’m not bloody eating, sleeping or concentrating. It’s ridiculous. There’s no long term potential because of the distance (he lives in NY) and I need to pull myself together.

Does this wear off? What happens now? I am a complete bloody mess and I don’t even know how to put a name on what i’m feeling.

I’m awake in the early hours yet again because my sleep is so disrupted!

OP posts:
TheMustressMhor · 27/09/2019 05:41

Are you happy with your husband? I'm guessing not, since you've been unfaithful to him.

If you continue to stay in contact with the man you cheated with you are risking your marriage.

Have you got children?

Wasrelaxing · 27/09/2019 05:44

@themustressmhor

Read the first part of the message Hmm

StartupRepair · 27/09/2019 05:45

OP is separated.
Would you consider a long distance relationship?
What would you like to happen?

Waffles80 · 27/09/2019 05:46

@themustressmhor do you want to read the OP’s post again and wrench those judgy pants back out of your arse?

OP it sounded like great fun. No chance on LD?

foxyknoxy30 · 27/09/2019 05:47

The op said she separated from her partner in January so a bit harsh 🤔 op nothing wrong with the way you are feeling sometimes it just makes us human hopefully through time it will ease and become fantastic memories sounds like him contacting you has fucked your mind a bit as you were pretty focused before he contacted you

sofato5miles · 27/09/2019 05:47

Your endorphins and hormones have kicked in! It is a bugger because they can take a while to dissipate...

Try to relax and concentrate on other things. Getting control over your mind can be very hard in these circs 🤣

HaudYerWheeshtYaWeeBellend · 27/09/2019 05:48

Separated from long term partner in Jan

OP does not have a husband and she is separated from the father of her children.

AlexTheKid · 27/09/2019 05:51

😂 at the first reply. So quick to hoick up those judgy pants!

You sound smitten op. Just stay in contact and see how it goes, enjoy the attention.
It might fizzle out because of the long distance thing or maybe you'll arrange to meet again?

I love that feeling you describe but then I'm an old romantic who's read too many romance novels!

TheMustressMhor · 27/09/2019 06:07

I'm really sorry OP.

I didn't read your post properly so forgive me please.

You should just disregard what I wrote. Utter bollocks.

Beautiful3 · 27/09/2019 06:32

Nothing wrong with a little romance. You could talk via Skype and save up to see each other.

PhilCornwall1 · 27/09/2019 06:34

@TheMustressMhor

I think you'll find the opening sentence of OPs post says:

Separated from long term partner in Jan.

Namechangeforthiscancershit · 27/09/2019 06:36

Yeah OP why are you cheating on your non existent husband? Naughty girl...

I know the feeling after holiday romances though. Enjoy it for a bit but it is more sensible to meet someone here.

Needallthesleep · 27/09/2019 06:37

Have you seen Catastrophe?!

littleduckeggblue · 27/09/2019 06:37

Keep in contact with him Op. you're allowed s bit of fun in your life. Even if you know nothing will come of it, enjoy the moment

stucknoue · 27/09/2019 06:39

Hormones etc go into overdrive,it's like being a teenager again! It will settle, if you cannot see yourself living in the USA or him moving here then the relationship cannot work but how about a spot of app based window shopping at least - recommend Bumble as a free starter. I'm in similar circumstances in feelings from meeting a guy, but he lives 50 miles away so doable

sofato5miles · 27/09/2019 06:40

@TheMustressMhor has graciously apologised though she obviously has a trigger happy judgey streak 🤣

MerryMarigold · 27/09/2019 06:42

I'd say it's a bit soon for an intense relationship so a LD relationship is perfect really, if that's what he wants and you would consider. You can use it to become friends.

MerryMarigold · 27/09/2019 06:43

But you do also realise that everyone is gagging for the story of how you met, what happened etc!

Rezie · 27/09/2019 06:44

Well..I had a "holiday" romance in another xpuntry (technically it was work and not holiday) and here we are still together 7 years later.

I've also had a holiday romance once before. He was so amazing and the chemistry was amazing. He came over to mine and it wa amazing and I really had to talk myself out of thinking about him. Then we met again when I went there for a holiday (not to see him) and that was a bit meh and we never spoke again.

I guess you need to think what you want. Another weekend? Relationship? Someone to chat to occasionally? I'd start thinking that and then the rest will follow that.

TheMustressMhor · 27/09/2019 06:46

I didn't read your OP properly. Have been awake all night (again) and the cat has been sick on the carpet and I can hear DH snoring in the bedroom.

I'm not generally a judgey type. Sorry OP.

TheoriginalLEM · 27/09/2019 06:47

You split with your partner in January. That isn't that ling in the grand scheme of things so I'm not surprised you fell for this person quickly and are going over things in your head. Something lovely after a difficult time.

If there is no chance of a relationship with this person (stranger things have happened) it might be worth a clean break.

The chemistry you felt was due to your mindset and the fact that there was no pressure. So it was in the moment. Enjoy it for what it was but maybe get back on the horse over here?

Is it bad that i am secretly hoping he turns up at your door with a big bunch of roses though?

HennyPennyHorror · 27/09/2019 06:49

Why can't it work? Have you got children OP? I've got you moving to New York next year in my mind! Grin

msmith501 · 27/09/2019 06:57

Don't rush the end game of will it work or not... invite him over and take it from there. If he commits and comes over then that's a step in one direction. If not, then that's a step in another direction and you can hopefully get on with your life. Who knows, it might work but you won't know if you don try.

Chamomileteaplease · 27/09/2019 07:03

I'm not surprised you can't sleep or eat Smile this is probably the most exciting thing to have happened to you for a while! And it is very heady.

You could maybe seriously consider seeing him again but it would probably be a relationship where you can't see each other often but might still be lovely. The joy being that you can get on with your own life with no worry, all the rest of the time Smile

Octonaught · 27/09/2019 07:06

Why can’t you see him periodically? Doesn’t have to be a full blown relationship.
Sounds awesome: a lover in New York.
ENjoy!