To be upset about colleague's comment

[Scottishgirl85]

I'm 34, 2 young children (youngest 17 months), 8 stone, 5 foot tall, size 8 clothes. A colleague today said 'congratulations!' as she assumed I'm pregnant! I definitely have a protruding tummy since having children, but I'm fairly slim otherwise. Obviously colleague was mortified but I'm now shamed into sorting it out...
I don't ever want such a comment again, dd2 is an IVF baby and husband is now completely infertile due to losing both testicles to cancer, so the comment has had a double whammy of hitting the tummy issue and infertility issue!
How on earth do I get rid of this stomach?! If anyone has any tips I'd love to hear them!

You have nothing to hide! Don't feel you need to hide anything. You look fab. Despite the media telling us otherwise, women are made to have extra in the belly. Nature's way of cushioning our reproductive organs! We should be told to embrace it, not hide it.

Having said that, I don't always embrace it and feel your pain. I'm currently pregnant and at 7 weeks my boss said, "Oh, you're showing!" and pointed to my belly.

Eh, no, no, at 7 weeks no one is showing and I've actually lost weight with sickness. 🙄

My stomach is like that but a lot bigger. I had two DDs by c-section. I've wondered if I have the diastasis recti (sorry, I forget the name - another poster mentioned it) but I've not bothered to do anything about it (I'm now 45!). It's worth checking if you have that though, because my understanding is that if you do you need to do different exercises. A friend told me pilates worked great for her. Now I'm thinking about trying core exercises like the poster above talks about and having a wee search on YouTube. You look great though.

What a rude colleague!!

A physio can assess if you still have abdominal separation, try to get a recommendation of a post natal specialist. Good to get checked. Pilates is best for toning if you are self conscious. But honestly screw her, she sounds like a cow

How am l lucky? I have to weigh much less in proportion to op to achieve the same dress size. Not that l would want to be a size 8 at my age now in my late fifties (even if that were possible) and am a size 12 to 14 (depending on shop again) and perfectly happy with that.
I am genuinely fascinated by how much less per inch l have to weigh to be the same size. I have a friend who's 9 stone, 5ft 2 and a size 8.

I’m 5ft 2, size 12 and 10&1/2 stone. I’ve always had a podgy belly and since having twins I have a saggy belly.

A few weeks ago in work a patient rubbed my tummy and asked when I was expecting, I replied “3 years ago” and she just shrugged!!! People are rude, I’d been feeling really good recently and for the most part have accepted my body now.

You look absolutely fine and I love that dress.

See a physio to see if your abs have separated because if they have sit ups can make it worse. If you get the go ahead then do a little bit of core work, bicycle crunches, flutter kicks, etc....Pinterest good for some exercise ideas. Pilates would be great.

You say it’s worse at the end of the day....wondering if it’s worth considering food intolerances, even coeliac disease?

I have separated abs after giving birth to DD (14) who was nearly 10lbs. Like you, I'm small-framed and just wasn't built to carry such a large baby! [DS was smaller but another pregnancy obviously didn't help.

I've found mat pilates really effective for flattening my Mum tum, plus swimming. If I exercise regularly, I can have a flat stomach again, but it doesn't last if I stop!

Right now, I'm "resting" (aka can't be arsed) and the DC keep teasing me about when the new baby's due.

Hmmm I think the hideous shitface dress doesn’t help things. They scream pregnant or out of shape OP. Try Zara or Uniqlo for something more up to date.

I bet if you took a photo without you gathering the dress in your hand it would tell a different story!

Strengthening your core muscles is never a waste of time, so go with that

I bet your colleague is still kicking herself!

You look absolutely fine to me,I reckon she's jealous.I love that dress and you could wear with boots and scarf and a chunky knit in winter and sandals or shoes in the summer

I'm fascinated by you being a size 8 at 5ft weighing 8 stone. I'm 5ft 7ins and last time l was a size 8 to 10 (depending which shop) l weighed 8 stone too.

Some people are extremely muscular and others are fattier so they weigh less even if taller.

Simone Biles is nearly 7.5st but only 4ft., 8in but you know, it's fascinating how incredibly muscular she is.

You look fab OP, what a complete bitch your colleague is. I hope she's sat at home still mortified! I never understand why people say that to women anyway. Surely everyone knows it's a touchy thing to say

Don't be put off wearing that dress or others, it suits you!

Yoga OP...it's the best.

Your figure is lovely though...it's only because you're small that your tummy seems more pronounced. You have a lovely figure.

Your colleague's a rude creature.

I was once on my way to town 4 days post birth of DD2 and got to the bus stop. An elderly woman asked when I was due! I lied and said "Oh anytime now!" so she didn't feel embarrassed...she was about 80 and I was big in front still!

But no excuses for younger people imo.

I'd left both my kids including new DD at home.

I agree with this.

Also look into Hypopressive exercise, great to help a diastasis. Be very careful doing traditional ab exercises as can make matters worse. I think you look great tho!

Just FYI you are fabulous just the way you are-none of us are perfect!

I'm going completely against the opinion on this thread but feel your colleague wasn't being a 'cow' - your tummy could be considered as a pregnant tummy as you're so slim and your tummy does definitely 'stick out'

I get comments on my body to shame me by work colleagues as I'm very slim - comments such as legs like sticks, do you eat etc? It's not ok. Invariably said by overweight women Could just imagine the outrage if I commented on them eating something and shaming them.

I don't think your colleague is in that league but only you will know if that's the case or not

Show your colleague this...

It does look like a posture issue, and pilates or ballet (proper ballet not some crappy barre cash-in class) will definitely help with that.

I have to weigh much less in proportion to op to achieve the same dress size

Um, yes? Because your taller frame is naturally bigger all over (or you'd be out of proportion), you would have to be a lot skinnier to have the same hip measurements as somebody a foot shorter than you. Surely that is obvious.

I have the typical c section “shelf” after two c section babies. My tummy does stick out fairly low down, lots of women have that after more than one caesarean . Do you have a shelf ? Or is your whole tummy rounded slightly ?
Pilates does help, I need to find a class, but my very slim friend who exercises like a demon says that she still has a little shelf, so I think depending on how you were stitched up it can always be there.
Mine isn’t flat if I hold it in though, I still have it, so you may just be getting a bit bloated as the day wears on, and as your muscles have taken a bit of beating, they pod out more easily as your gut fills with food. If that is the issue then pilates will really, really help.

BMI often doesn’t work for very short people or those who carry a lot of fat centrally like you do. For example in South and Southeast Asia people of your height and body type (no matter their race) may be counselled to stay between a 18-20 BMI. I suggest reviewing your diet to eat more wholefoods / wholegrains (and less processed food / treats) and getting in some weight bearing and cardio exercise and see what happens.

Think a few more nasty bitches from op’s work are on the thread. This has been such a supportive thread for op who clearly is upset. Why make nasty arse comments about her dress?

Op I think you look lovely. Ignore the nasty comments. I would die for your figure :)

How rude. Maybe ask her if she’s expecting, as she’s got babies on the brain!

How can you not think the OPs colleague was not being a 'cow'? Do you think it's acceptable that this cow woman asked OP if she was pregnant? It's never an acceptable thing to say especially on a colleague basis!

You can clearly see in the picture the OP is pulling her dress to draw your attention to the stomach area. The OP is not walking around holding her dress to her stomach 24/7. The OP clearly has a lovely figure and is dressed very nice. That's all I see. That's all most people see.

Far too many bitchy comments on this thread. It's like users have to point out they are slim too - great thanks for letting us all know. FWIW I'm slim too & so glad I managed to squeeze this in. I really feel like a weights been lifted.

You look amazing after two sections!

Your problem is your colleague, not your stomach. Swimming will help or yoga /Pilates but you're slim and you've got two babies - and a shitty colleague ... as you were 😜