Are my BIL and DH BU or am I?

[morethanalurker]

I’m fully prepared to hear I’m being unreasonable. It will seem ridiculous when you read it but I have got quite upset.

I got a new phone and decided to sell my old one. DH made me promise not to sell it for any less than it was going on a mobile phone resale site. I’ve been ripped off before so agreed. All is fine.

Get a few people interested, and then DH gets a text from BIL. BIL would like to buy it for DN (10). BIL has my number I might add but texts DH instead anyway.

Somehow DH agrees I should sell it to BIL for less than he originally said I should sell it for. Again, fine, it’s BIL. Agree.

BIL explains he doesn’t have that money in full at the moment, can he pay me some and then the rest the following month? Quite frankly the money would be handy now but these resale sites take ages anyway so agree.

DH gets a text asking if BIL can come to ours to pick up the phone today. BIL hasn’t visited us all year. DH asks how much BIL planned to pay for the phone and BIL says he’s got no money.

I said I kind of expected him to have at least a bit of money when picking up the phone. DH repeated to BIL. BIL is now no longer speaking to either of us.

DH thinks AIBU because BIL is family and why shouldn’t BIL pick up the phone early? I think BIL has form for being a bit of a CF, has barely spoken to us until he wanted the phone and expects to stroll up and take it this evening.

AIBU? If I am I will sincerely apologise to all parties involved. I know it sounds pathetic but DH had a bit of a go and I’ve got quite upset about it.

I think they’re both being unreasonable and your DH having a go at you is bang out of order!!

Nope YANBU, he clearly can't afford the phone can he?

How did he know you were selling it if he never speaks to you?

I wouldn't sell it to him either.

YANBU- it's your phone and you can sell it to whoever, and if you have already agreed to sell it for less he should pay in full with a huge thanks for doing him a favour, the CF.

DH told him I was upgrading and he asked DH what I was planning to do with my old phone.

No are def 100% not being unreasonable. It's a phone for a 10 year old. He can collect it when he has the money. If it was something essential I would say help family out but not for a phone for his 10 year old (unless it's her birthday and she otherwise wont get a present or something) but otherwise it can def wait til he can pay for it. U are already being nice giving it to him for less. U are definitely in the right.

I think you tell dh you are selling your phone and that if he is that bothered about BIL getting a free phone he can give him his.

How dare he tell you what to do with your own possessions!

YANBU. Your BIL is a CF and your DH is a mug. Please don't give your phone to BIL! You'll never get the money. Just sell on guntree or Facebook! Don't leave yourself out of pocket.

DH seems to have had a heck of a lot of involvement in deciding what you should do with your own phone. Is he equally happy for you to decide how much he should sell his property for and who he should sell it to?

So no I wouldn't be apologising to DH because he shouldn't have been setting himself up as lord and master of your phone in the first place.

BIL is also a CF. He wants you to hand over your phone for free. You have absolutely no guarantee that he will ever pay you a penny once he gets his hands on it.

Both of them owe YOU an apology.

@Halo1234 I would definitely help them out if it was something essential but it’s not a birthday or anything, DN just broke the last phone he had.

YANBU. I’m pretty sure he’ll “forget” to give the money back or come up with some excuses. Plus a 10 year doesn’t desperately need a phone.

BIL is a CF.

DH is a bit of a twit for repeating ad verbium.

Sell it elsewhere.

Yabu. I would be tempted to sell the phone to someone else!

If he can't pay he can't have it, cheeky fucker is just trying to get a free phone off you. Yanbu. Sell it to someone else or the phone resell site, even if they do take a while to pay at least you know you'll actually get some money.

Oh and I recommend FoneWizard ... they sent the envelope on a Thursday, I received and posted phone Friday and they bank transferred money Saturday. I recommend them!

I'd tell DH if he wants BIL to have the phone tonight he should give you the money out of his pocket. Then he can chase his brother for it when he inevitably doesn't pay up!

@Zebraaa I will definitely try them! Thank you!

I’m so glad to see these replies. I thought I was going crazy when BIL got so offended!

As your bil isn't speaking to either of you surely your problem is now solved. As there's no way he can collect it is there if there's no communication between you?

Just go ahead and sell as you wish.

@FawnDrench I will definitely do that. I honestly just wanted to check if I was being totally awful since BIL and DH have taken the hump!

YANBU.
Let your DH pay you and he can wait for his brother to pay him back.
We all know the answer to that.

I have a similar tale. I leant my nephew my back up phone, with the explicit instruction I wanted it back as I was going to sell it. (Phone shop said it was worth £100). He got a new (2nd hand) phone but asked if he could hang onto mine as a back up.
I said yes, because he's a young and I spoil him.
His sister has just reached the magic age of phone time. Her mum (My ex sil) has given her my old phone as a birthday present without even asking if I'm ok with it.
I am, in the fact my niece has a phone, but I'm pissed off my SIL has claimed it as a present from her and saved herself approx £60 (as im sure the phone is now worth less). It's just fucking cheeky!

YANBU. BIL got so offended because he was hoping to just take the phone and not pay, now he has been clocked and thwarted!

Oh I definitely don't think you've been awful at all - more railroaded into something you didn't really want to do.

Hope you get a great price for your phone.

Why do dh making you promise how much you have to sell your phone for? I'd be telling him to get lost.

The thing with buying ore owned from websites like cex is they cost a little bit more than Karen up the road would sell on eBay because they come with a warranty.

It's your phone and you should do what you want with it, I'd think it weird if dh tried to be so involved in what I do with my old phone.

I have a bil who asks every time what I'm doing with my old phone. He's local though and I see him a lot but is absolutely shit with money and I learnt my lesson when I let him take a phone with the promise of giving me regular instalments. He broke the phone two weeks later and didn't pay me a penny. So when he now asks about my phone or any old piece of tech I tell him the price and that it's not leaving my house with anyone until the full amount has been paid and I stick to it.

My last phone I sold for £400 and it's a lot of money to just give away.

You were never going to get any money, sell elsewhere