Are my BIL and DH BU or am I?

[morethanalurker]

I’m fully prepared to hear I’m being unreasonable. It will seem ridiculous when you read it but I have got quite upset.

I got a new phone and decided to sell my old one. DH made me promise not to sell it for any less than it was going on a mobile phone resale site. I’ve been ripped off before so agreed. All is fine.

Get a few people interested, and then DH gets a text from BIL. BIL would like to buy it for DN (10). BIL has my number I might add but texts DH instead anyway.

Somehow DH agrees I should sell it to BIL for less than he originally said I should sell it for. Again, fine, it’s BIL. Agree.

BIL explains he doesn’t have that money in full at the moment, can he pay me some and then the rest the following month? Quite frankly the money would be handy now but these resale sites take ages anyway so agree.

DH gets a text asking if BIL can come to ours to pick up the phone today. BIL hasn’t visited us all year. DH asks how much BIL planned to pay for the phone and BIL says he’s got no money.

I said I kind of expected him to have at least a bit of money when picking up the phone. DH repeated to BIL. BIL is now no longer speaking to either of us.

DH thinks AIBU because BIL is family and why shouldn’t BIL pick up the phone early? I think BIL has form for being a bit of a CF, has barely spoken to us until he wanted the phone and expects to stroll up and take it this evening.

AIBU? If I am I will sincerely apologise to all parties involved. I know it sounds pathetic but DH had a bit of a go and I’ve got quite upset about it.

I'd cut BIL completely out of the picture now and just sell the phone as you intended to originally (or via one of the methods mentioned here).

Nah! Bil is being a cf!

I wouldn't be letting him have the phone until he pays full agreed price unless you can afford and are willing to accept he likely won't pay up!

"I'd tell DH if he wants BIL to have the phone tonight he should give you the money out of his pocket. Then he can chase his brother for it when he inevitably doesn't pay up!" Excellent idea!

@Sparklypurpleunicornsaremyfav this is an excellent plan. Will run this past DH and see how long it takes him to do a U-turn!!

Your DH has a big mouth to be telling BIL you're getting new phone let alone having a go at you for not handing it over for zilch

Not sure if anyone is interested in an update but I’m addicted to OP updates here. I sold my phone on Gumtree for £50 more than BIL wanted. He was not impressed. He actually made DH and I anxious with his reaction (not that DH deserves the sympathy). Now DH is selling his phone to BIL but at least I’m not the mug here!

There's no reason for him to be offended. Selling things isn't complicated. One person gives money and the other person gives a product in exchange. If there's no money, there's no sale. So why would he be offended if you don't hand over your product?

You did the right thing.

BIL has no money because he spends more than he can afford on phones. He does realise that if he doesn't have a spare £400 you can get a perfectly good phone for less than half of that?

Bil needs to learn to cut his cloth!

Utterly ridiculous spending that kind of money on a phone for a 10 year old!

Are your finances joint with dh? Because if so you're still being ripped off aren't you?

No, don’t share finances (except for bills, mortgages etc).

What WAS his reaction?

@Nottobesoldseparately
That is appalling. What a cheeky cow your ex SIL is.

I think people fail to see you can actually get real cash for phones - good on you for selling it ! How anyone could get the hump about paying for something I do t know

Don’t know

What was his reaction to make you both anxious?