To ask you for your WORST work stories (to cheer me up!!)

[CrossedToTheDarkSide]

I know I can’t be the only one who’s had my fair share of horrible bosses, nightmare colleagues and just miserable work situations.
In light of a recent nasty colleague i’ve been really struggling at work and feeling a bit sorry for myself so thought we could trade (lighthearted and hopefully funny) horror stories in the hopes of giving us all a few laughs.
So any tales of unreasonable bosses, unbearable colleagues, clever pay-back or just all round ridiculous work stories would really pick me up right now.

I worked for a garage and it was a horrible place to work. I didn't have a clue what I was doing (probably inadequate training) and the 2 women who worked near me were complete bitches. I used to dread going in every day. One day however I ordered the wrong car. Oops. I admitted what I'd done to one of the few people I could trust (manager). However the next day I got the sack. I was secretly delighted that I didn't have to ever set foot in there again but pissed off that I didn't hand in my notice first!!

A few years ago I walked into work and two of my female colleagues were having a full on brawl while others were trying to separate them.
It transpired that one of the women was having an affair with the other woman's husband, who also worked there.
What really blew our minds was that an hour or so after the brawl, he walked out with a totally different woman who had also been having an affair with him, leaving behind a bruised and confused wife and mistress.
Who were sacked later that day.

Sorry, pressed send too soon.
I was representing the wife as her union rep in her disciplinary, but she was still sacked, along with the other woman for gross misconduct.
Which I thought was really unfair considering that
A. She was understandably angry.
B. She was going to need all her income being as her husband had buggered off.

This sounds like I'm a poo troll but I promise I'm not, both stories involve poo somehow

1. we had a phantom shitter at somewhere I used to work. Phantom in that they would always stink out the cubicles, leave the evidence behind and on times, would leave dirty toilet paper on the floor. Weirdly it happened in both the female and male toilets, so for a while we suspected it was someone going into both of them so not to be caught. It stopped about a month before I left but the building was massive so could have been anyone.

2. old company I used to work for held summer social events that were all paid for. Was super fun most of the time, except people predictably got absolutely smashed. Normally it was the youngsters in sales who were known for this, except one time a very shy and retiring IT guy in his 40s got absolutely trashed. We were on a boat, and this is so outing if anyone else was there, but he had a horrific evacuation from the backside before he made it to the toilets and shat all up a window. That put pay to the summer socials its all anyone talked about for years. Fair play to the guy, he was disciplined but stayed on at the business for a further six years. Never again did he come out on a works do though

I don't think mine will cheer you up (unless you're sadistic lol) but I was heating milk up in the microwave to make a milky coffee and when I picked the cup up the milk boiled over my hand and I had third degree burns. I had to wear my hand in a plastic bag with paraffin wax/gel for three weeks. The pain was horrendous.

My first proper job was for a small firm in the early to mid nineties. They rather proudly had one computer that had been set up to receive email. It was my job to check it each day, print off the emails and deliver them to people in the office.

Being young and stupid, I quickly signed up for a daily email newsletter that was in no way work related. I'd read them and delete them each day. Except one day, when I accidentally selected to delete the entire mail box by accident and realised my mistake as I clicked okay. There was no back up.

This is in the Daily Mail.
I'm glad they didn't print my story, it'd be like it happening all over again 😂

I had a previous colleague who quite literally refused to even acknowledge my existence from the day I met her. Even to this day I cant work out what I did to make her so angry. Any "Hello X" was met with blank looks, any work related questions was met with a curt "Yes/no" or the smallest amount of words necessary to reply.

I now work with another miserable woman who seems to think everything under the sun is some giant affront to her. She will make the biggest deal out of anything that you ask her to do (she is a secretary so this is fairly often!) and acts personally affronted if you dare even ask her a question - eg "do you know where Y is? I cant find it!" Is met with looks similar to those you'd give to someone who murdered your pet dog.

Imo theres always some miserable old man or woman in every job. Theres also always a group of men or women who love bitching about everyone else and acting like they're still in high school. Tbh it's sad to see grown adults who are that immature, I pity their partners/family.

I was bored at work one day and rewrote a parade of a press release (think switching something like - “x product is unique amazing etc etc to my x product is the preserve of those can’t afford y” but a whole 500ish words of it...

Got muddled and sent my parady rather than the amended one back to the or agency... didn’t realise for a day and then panicked that they’d sent it the press...

😂😂😂 that cracked me up

I had started a new job about three weeks before the xmas do, the do included an overnight stay in the same hotel as the function, it also had a free bar.

I hadn’t seen my boyfriend in about four months as he was travelling for his career, partners were invited so I asked him to come as at the time we were living in a shared flat, so a free night in a hotel was very attractive.

We went to bed at about midnight, at breakfast the next morning you were seating next to the people who were roomed next to you. On one side I had the CEO and on the other my line manager, they both complained of a very sleepless night, which I thought nothing of.

Back in the room I sneezed and I heard my CEO say “bless you” through the wall, it only dawned on me then that they hadn’t slept well as they had heard us shagging all night. I was mortified, my boyfriend thought it was hilarious, he didn’t have to work with them!!!

Worked night shift at a catholic hospital in a critical care unit-one of my fellow nurses got romantically involved with a ward secretary and had a surprise pregnancy. Secretary was known for his one night stands and when she saw him flirting with a new nurse she lost her mind and physically assaulted him and the night shift nursing administrator had to physically separate them and had to send them both home per the hospital policy. I was home on maternity leave and still managed to hear the story blow by blow

Work as a teacher in a large secondary school.

I once walked from one end of the school to the other, through a busy dining room, with skirt tucked knickers.

I had a customer shit themselves down my checkout aisle. I've worked for aldi for 11 years so I've seen my fair share of eye openers.

I worked in a franchised shop which buys and sells various items. Manager would buy stuff from the local drug addicts for more than it was worth as a "favour", inevitably most of the time they wouldn't come back for it and we would be left with something that we would lose money on (e.g. item worth £50 new, manager would buy for £50, put the selling price at £100. Now no one is gonna buy it second hand for £100, or £50).
The shop was losing money and when one colleague left they couldn't replace them, and so I was left to do the job of two people. Then got fired when I couldn't do it. I had had enough by that point so was pretty glad.

Pro tip: if you're gonna sell a laptop, tablet or phone to one of these shops, delete all nudes and dirty movies. They will be found.

At my last IT Project Manager contract job there was a notice in the ladies toilet requesting that if the toilet didn’t flush well ( plumbing was dreadful) we should flush toilet with bucket of water provided 😱 However it also said that this bucket had to be filled in the staff kitchen 😱🤑🤣

I've had my fair share of mad bosses and colleagues but my last job I worked was the best.
My manager would bring her baby into work 2 days a week , she would leave it sleeping on her desk one day it fell off desk onto floor .
We had problems with the drains I was told that needed to dig the car park to access the drains but md refused due to loss of business. Anyway toilets would regularly back up and shit would be all over the car park .
Md wouldn't make a tea/ coffee that was for his staff to do , my manager actually put it in our job discription .
Also same manager wouldn't allow us to print anything . All invoices must be sent in the post not allowed to email . Even if we needed a invoice urgently we had to tell suppliers to post first class .
I was responsible for ordering the office stationery anyway 1 day supplier sent me a voucher . MD was furious as it's a bribe, but even after I told him that his sales team were frequently getting vouchers from suppliers and openly bragged about it , that was ok apparently. There are more....
Was a great day when I handed in my notice .

I worked in a shoe shop over 20 years ago, my boss was a total ass hole and no one really liked him - I worked downstairs in the stock room and the electric trip switch was also down there 😊 and one very busy afternoon I turned it off - eventually after it went ‘off several more times the electricity engineers were called after the shop had to close and we all got sent home. Not sure how much the company lost in sales and at the time I didn’t really care!!

Was a midwife for over 20yrs. Was always very conscientious when it came to wearing scrubs and protective clothing. Still found poo in my pocket though, got drenched in liquor, got blood on my shoes & sometimes my socks. And then there was the baby vomit/pee/poo as well.

Far too many to tell all, and many more I've made myself forget for my own mental health.

There was one boss in the Civil Service, I'll call her "Sally". She was known by all her staff as "Sally-the-bitch-cow-from-hell", and she was possibly the most grade-ist & sexist person I have met e.g. I shouldn't joke & laugh with managers senior to me when we were out drinking, they were HER preserve to flirt with. Men were always better than women (except her of course). I found out once that every member of her team had gone to her boss independently to complain about her, then one day I was in the big boss's office & the silly man had left her annual report on his desk - which said her staff management was much improved & gave her a decent mark! She would send reports we'd written with her name on them, and would swear we'd never given her other reports to review even when we could see them on her desk. Apparently she got promoted into a job with no staff management soon after I left there.

A fun one would be when I was a school, I used to work in a pharmacists a couple of evenings a week. Friday evening tended to be quiet so there would only be me and a locum pharmacist there (usually a very pretty lady). I would love it when young-ish men would come in & look around the shop for ages, then eventually come up & ask if they could see the pharmacist. She would come out to the front, & they'd get all confused & ask if there was a gentleman there who could serve them. When I said no, they'd eventually pluck up the courage to ask in a low whisper if we had any condome. "Oh yes, there's a big display on the counter right in front of you" in a loud, breezy voice. Half the time they would just run out of the door

On my first day at a new job, my line manager left myself and my job share in Reception on our first day whilst the meeting we came in for went on, so we missed it and weren't present when we were introduced.

I rarely saw her - no 1:1s, no objectives set, no appraisal. She also didn't say goodbye to me or sign my leaving card when I left, which is the saddest thing that has happened to me in my working life.

I cant say its too embarssing

when another colleague copies in the managers when they email me.

The worst work related thing to happen to me was being sacked for having the audacity to fall pregnant.