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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask you for your WORST work stories (to cheer me up!!)

101 replies

CrossedToTheDarkSide · 24/09/2019 22:31

I know I can’t be the only one who’s had my fair share of horrible bosses, nightmare colleagues and just miserable work situations.
In light of a recent nasty colleague i’ve been really struggling at work and feeling a bit sorry for myself so thought we could trade (lighthearted and hopefully funny) horror stories in the hopes of giving us all a few laughs.
So any tales of unreasonable bosses, unbearable colleagues, clever pay-back or just all round ridiculous work stories would really pick me up right now. Wine

OP posts:
user1493423934 · 25/09/2019 06:48

Worked with a crazy woman who went ballistic when her boyfriend went back to his wife . . . so she started stalking him - ringing him constantly screaming at him down ph etc. She got fired (was only a temp) for verbally abusing the nice receptionist who was a friend of her ex. That experience put me off affairs forever . .. along with watching Fatal Attraction anyone contemplating an affair should have to sit next to someone like her.
Another crazy one was convinced people were stealing her stuff all the time (don't know why - we were in an open plan office so would've been very difficult, if not impossible to physically go through her bag without someone else seeing.) Came back from a meeting once to find her going through everyone's rubbish bins looking for a food wrapper (she was convinced someone had stolen her lunch).

Thegracefuloctopus · 25/09/2019 06:49

When I was a waitress at 17, two men were on what appeared to be a business meeting or something. One was in a white shirt. As I went to clear their plates, the man in the white shirt said to his friend and myself "my wife will eat her words. She says I always get dinner down my shirt, well not today love" and with that I picked up his plate and the knife slipped off, all down the front of this man's white shirt, marking it with pasta sauce in about 3 places. I felt awful and apologised profusely. The two men were in hysterics and the one said "she's never going to believe this story"! He then bought me a drink as I felt so bad bless him. Believe it or not that's my best ever day at work!

NotSorry · 25/09/2019 06:50

I used to work for a woman who (among other appalling behaviour) used to regularly bounce my wages checks. Then she would get huffy when I asked for my wages. So many stories about her. She is also a pathological liar.

gcs21 · 25/09/2019 07:01

I work in a bar and a man threatened to rape me once because I refused to serve him!

Ivalueloyaltyaboveallelse · 25/09/2019 07:04

@NotSorry I think we must of worked for same people Grin I walked from my last job. Bullying of the staff, lying and never ever paid on time. The place was disgusting and dangerous.

CiliatedEpithelium · 25/09/2019 07:09

I worked in a factory years ago. Our direct manager was OK but his superior was a horrible man. Luckily he didn't come in on the night shift so we were all much more relaxed on nights.
One night he turned up unexpectedly, not that we were doing anything wrong. We were split into teams and we prided ourselves on getting the work done efficiently but he always had to pick holes.
One of our team members was on his way to the loo for a crap when he saw this manager heading there himself. The mens bogs were up a full flight of concrete steps so he waited until the manager went through the door, took a shit on the top step and removed the lightbulb directly above and legged it to another loo to ...ahem, do the paperwork.
The following day there was posters all over the factory with photo's of this managers back. His suit and hair was caked in shit a foot wide and there was dire warnings about finding the culprit and also about health and safety.

Some wag wrote on one of the posters, 'That will take two cans of Shout' which will indicate how long ago this was as Shout was being advertised on the telly at the time.
I don't think the manager was injured but he slipped from top to bottom on a Crest Run of kack from all accounts. Couldn't have happened to a nicer person.
I will have to namechange now.

dentydown · 25/09/2019 07:20

My manager used to picnic in meetings. He would invite himself in, sit at the table. Start on the food. Look in the sandwiches and interrupt the meeting to ask what each one it and where are the crisps. It got to a point where we would just have boring biscuits and tea/coffee in the meetings

Elderflower14 · 25/09/2019 07:22

Many years ago I worked in a hotel as a general assistant. One night I was doing the function bar for a VERY loud cricket club dinner. A local very drunk solicitor came to the bar and asked me in a very slurred voice for a drink.. I politely told him twice that I couldn't hear him. The third time he reached over the bar grabbed my hair, pulled me towards him and roared "I'LL HAVE A FUCKING BACARDI AND COKE....CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW????" 🤯 🤯 🤯 🤯
I was very naive. I told my boss later. He did nothing and I I wish I had called the police. I certainly would now...
I didn't get to see the guy again as he died not long after.

sportinguista · 25/09/2019 07:30

I had a boss back in one of my very first jobs that was an utter nightmare! To put it mildly Sadaam Hussein and General Franco were likely nicer people and had more friends than this man. The atmosphere when he was out of office was palpably soooo much nicer. Anyway back then we used to shoot films for print on a big camera and develop them in a dark room. I used to put the dark room red light on and hide in there for some peace as bar the ladies it was the only place he wouldn't come in and you can still read in red light! The guy was so bad that he annoyed an outside building contractor to the point the lad had him up against the wall. We took a pregnant Belgian client out for a meal once with myself and another director as well as him, he proceeded to get truly trollied and as well being hideously embarassing offered to drive the poor lady back to the hotel, needless to say she refused and the other director took her back. We lost that contract which was a big one.

It all came to a head when it came to light that he and another director had been stealing stock supplied to make sample books from our clients ( by over-ordering and then selling on through a shop owned by one of them) and one morning when we were all in the front office all but one of the directors were marched out of the building by the police. It was all downhill from there of course, the director who wasn't involved told me to 'take what pay I had owing' because he couldn't guarantee future staff wages given the circumstances ( he was a really lovely bloke and it was him who'd blown the whistle).

I've had a few bad bosses over the years including the last one which is why I now have my own business!

FrenchyQ · 25/09/2019 07:46

My boss when I was in my early 20's was more than twice my age....one christmas he bought me seethrough underwear. Going back to work after christmas was slightly awkward, I never questioned why he thought that was appropriate!

amysaurus87 · 25/09/2019 08:14

I worked in my local pub as a waitress/barmaid whilst back from uni. Large table came in for lunch, I was the waitress for their table and at the end of the meal the guy who had booked the table came up to me to give me tip, he tucked it into my apron saying "if we were anywhere else I'd be putting this in the top of your stockings" Confused

He was about 70....

Still makes me cringe thinking about it

verticality · 25/09/2019 08:23

I had a boss who ranked and rated every woman in the office out of 10. I was once having a really rough time (in the middle of the most serious relationship crisis you can have) and he pulled me into his office and told me I had "sunk" from a 7 to a 4. Before someone mentions grooming, I was perfectly neat in my professional dress and heels and we were not customer-facing in any way; it was a backroom office job. He also objected to a new temp on the grounds that she was fatter than the old one (she was a size 12). He was a morbidly obese, bald 60 year old who dribbled when he spoke. He also told the most ridiculous stories about things like fighting off a bear with his own hands to get admiration.

Kazzyhoward · 25/09/2019 08:29

I left school and got a job as a trainee in an old fashioned stuffy accountancy practice run by the senior partner who was very "old school" with his 3 piece suit, watch on a chain in his top pocket etc. It was a pretty miserable and soul-less place - think Charles Dickens Scrooge!

In was pretty immature and naive and on my 18th birthday, the other staff took me to a local pub for lunchtime celebratory drinks. Everyone was buying me all kinds of drinks. When we got back to the office, the room was spinning - probably the first time I'd been drunk. I promptly threw up and luckily the guy working on the next desk quickly got a paper bin to catch most of it. Once I'd cleaned up, I went downstairs for a black coffee, and then promptly threw up on the stairs on my way back up - a right mess. After an hour or so, I started to feel better. I went to the senior partners' office to apologise and promptly threw up all over his desk!

ShutupWesley · 25/09/2019 08:48

One of the women in our office is a few butties short of a picnic... She's one of those people that rubs pretty much everyone up the wrong way. Let's call her Frosty Knickers (FK for short) .

She brought in a half dead plant. It looked fucking dreadful, she dumped it on the central desk where no one currently sits and spent about a week trying to get someone else to take this plant. One of the cleaners is a massive plant lover and she came in and said she felt really sorry for it. She offered to take the plant, repot it and bring it back in. A couple of the lads in the office and I said yes that would be good and thanked her.

So she took the plant away to try and rescue it. FK kicked off when she got in, saying someone stole HER plant. She then proceeded to spend an entire morning going doing asking about this fucking plant. Eventually someone told her the cleaner took it and we gave her permission to. Well FK was out for my blood. She accused me of stealing her property and overstepping the mark. She also said she was going to give the half dead plant to her friend... . I told her the cleaner had only taken it home to repot it and she was going to bring it back in tomorrow. I also told her I'd done her a favour and I would accept an apology 😂 she stormed back to her desk and started furiously typing.

The next day, the plant was back, as promised. It had been fed, watered and repotted. As soon as FK saw it, she exclaimed "Fred, you're back, I missed you!". I swear to god. She actually stroked the leaves. She spent the next week telling everyone I stole Fred and wouldn't stop going on about it. It gave everyone a good laugh at least. 🙈

Igneococcus · 25/09/2019 08:48

One former boss of mine blamed a massive cock up in a grant funded research project which involved two other companies on me because "Igneo's first language isn't English, she didn't understand". He was the one who rewrote my protocol and instructions while I was on maternity leave. One of the other partners immediatly wrote back saying that he doesn't think that's true and the other one agreed.
Twat, he was sacked shortly after that and has a new job every two years or so. I assume that is as long as it takes for his employers to see through his business babble and notice the incompetence.

absopugginglutely · 25/09/2019 08:54

When nannying in Wellington New Zealand by the coast, the kids asked me to put the windows down on the way home from school to see if the (very large) waves came into the window. They did.

I brought the kids home and tea towel dried the dashboard (which was soaked) and thought no more of it.

I was 20 and the car was their really posh 9 seater.

The next day I had a phone call from the mother asking if I had let a wave in through the window because none of the electric functions in the car were working.

Amazingly, it was only at this point I registered that it was reeeeeally stupid thing to do!
Cringe.

contrary13 · 25/09/2019 08:55

When I was 18, I applied for a job at a local photographic studio as a "make the child/baby smile if you can, or simply just look in the direction of the large camera, and press the shutter as many times as you can!" person. I like babies and small children, loved photography, and wanted to be a portrait photographer "when I grew up"... Anyway, I got the job. Except, my boss decided that rather than allow me to do what I was hired to do, because "of [my] posh voice" (I don't have an accent unless I'm really angry, at which point I channel my Welsh grandparent rather well!), he was going to "let" me work in the cold-calling "office"...

The office was a tiny little back room, right beside the fire escape door, and a busy road. It had six wooden partitions in it, six 'phones and very long lists of names/numbers. We were expected to read a script, to stick to the script, to enthuse about complete strangers naming choices when it came to their children ("oh, your daughter's called X? Well, isn't that funny? I love the name X...!" sort of a thing) and essentially lie through our back teeth in order to get them to make a booking in the one of the chain of studios around the country.

I hate talking on the 'phone even to people I actually have close relationships with, never mind total strangers, and I cannot/won't/don't lie, so my job... with my "posh voice" (which I'm still ?! about almost 30 years later)... lasted just over a month. Oh, and my shifts? The cold-call "office" rota? Didn't start until the studio shut for the night, so from 6pm until 11pm, 6 nights a week. For less than minimum wage. I was the youngest one there, expected to make everyone endless cups of tea and coffee, and to tolerate the (understandable) rage of strangers whose dinner I'd interrupted/sleep broken into. My boss dressed in shiny grey suits with bright pink ties and thought he was God's Gift to Life, and I spent a lot of time listening to him schmooze and smarm the strangers he was cold-calling... and it turned my dislike of the telephone into an actual phobia for a good long while. I walked out mid-shift, didn't say a word, just got up and walked... and I still don't regret doing so. When 'Olan Mills' went bust a few years later, I wasn't remotely surprised, and Piers, if you ever see this... I hope your bullshit catches up to you in a horrendous way. You treated us as though we were nothing - the six desperate to be employed cold-calling "team". And we all hated you, and the job.

My second boss spent most of my shifts on the roof of our building with a broom beating out flames where our burger grill had set fire to it. We could hear his expletive laden rage up by the tills as we tried to upsell a large fries or a "have it your way" burger... That was also hell, but those who shared my shifts, late into the evening, were fun; mostly students studying at the local university, all the same, or a similar sort of age to me, and we had fun. We'd go out after work if we finished early enough to the local clubs and pubs, and our five bosses...? Came with us. Apart from the roof swearing, flame beater one. He was old enough to be our grandfather, in fairness, but we all loved his grumpy ways.

My third boss once told me that I'd never make it as an archaeologist/go to university to study the subject at degree level, because I had a toddling child in tow. I proved him wrong. Which I was later informed was the point of his disapproving judgemental sneers. I just wish I'd been told this before I was standing next to former colleagues at his funeral. They'd endured similar disapproval from him, and reckoned it was his way of finding out if we had a vocation or simply wanted to dig as a hobby. Sad

cafenoirbiscuit · 25/09/2019 09:02

I had an ineffectual bullying micromanaging bitch as a boss. She made doing none of her own job into an art form, whilst criticising everyone else’s work.

In a 1-1 meeting between us she would often overshare info about her family.
I knew more about her dad’s testicles and how they had originally thought he was infertile than ANYONE ever needed to.

madcatladyforever · 25/09/2019 09:02

Ex boss NHS would ring me at one minute to 5 every damned day to make sure I hadn't gone home early.
Bearing in mind I always came in an hour early as we were so busy and worked all through lunch and had zero history of taking the piss.
I was 56 at the time, her 30. I used to get so irate I couldn't even talk to her. Id just put the phone down.
Eventually I left and two years later they still haven't found anyone to replace me and the specialist work I did.
Micro managers kill enthusiasm and make you lose the will to live.

OhJustElfOff · 25/09/2019 09:21

I worked at a pub when I was 18, the lovely couple who originally employed me left and I stayed on with the new family who took over the pub. I did over and above what was expected and understood I would continue to paid on the same day each week as confirmed by them. They were not forthcoming and would regularly tell me they would pay me the next week then insist they had already paid me so I was often working a full week for free because I was too scared to look like I was a liar?! They eventually did a midnight flit after a few months after being uncovered for fraud. And I lost my (mostly) unpaid job.

nononever · 25/09/2019 09:36

Not really a horror story but one of the senior managers at my workplace at the time was an absolute cow, she spoke to you like crap if you weren't the same level as her, was the manager from hell and I dreaded having to work on any projects she was managing.

I fall pregnant, go on mat leave and due to a serious health complication I can't go back to work and we have to move to a more suitable house as I was struggling with stairs. Fast forward a couple of years and I'm chasing after a toddler on a bike when someone calls my name, it's the manager from hell, I had no idea she lived around the corner. We became firm friends, she had no children and absolutely doted on my daughter. She was actually a very lovely person outside of work!

SuzieBishop · 25/09/2019 09:55

I worked as a housekeeper in a hotel during uni many years ago. We always propped open the doors as it was easier for running in & out - so this one day I went into the room to clean it and the guy was in there. I hated cleaning when the people were in the room as it was just awkward. Anyway halfway through cleaning it I realised he’d taken the towel away so the door was closed and he asked me to sit down. God knows why I did but I did and he asked me where he “could meet a lady!” I said I wasn’t sure but there were plenty of bars and nightclubs around the hotel. He then said “I’ll give you a lot of money if you come back here later.” I said no and just got up and walked out the door. I felt so sick I ran straight to the basement where we were located to tell my boss. Unbelievably he didn’t get thrown out or anything but the scary head housekeeper cleaned his room till he left.

ChelseaCat · 25/09/2019 10:15

I had an issue accessing a work program on my iPad and went to IT for help. Opened the wrong thing and the screen popped up with a picture of my boobs 😳 Absolutely mortifying.

IScreamForIceCreams · 25/09/2019 10:22

Vomitting in the loo with a tummy bug, came out the loo and straight into meeting with a contractor, and shook his hand! Didn't fess up I'd just been puking.

LipSyncForYourLife · 25/09/2019 16:15

Some years ago I had a temp admin job as part of a small team that had to input insurance details into the computer for our clients. The manager was immensely proud of the bespoke computer programme she’d designed some years earlier. The system was ridiculously stupid. We were expected to type as fast as possible and move on (think touch typists except none of us were). We weren’t allowed to correct typos or errors. The system generated letters, they were printed out the next day (hundreds of letters) and we had to check them, correct the errors (about a third of them) and reprint.

I suggested it would be better to take more time and check our work as we went along. The manager wouldn’t have it she wanted a team of inputters and a team of checkers but they were the same people! One day we were inputters, the next day checkers. It was crazy!

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