Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to drop out the day before exchange of contracts?

209 replies

Ginandtonics · 24/09/2019 22:01

House purchase going on for so long we are starting to feel that with prices appearing to fall round here we are paying too much. We just discovered there's very likely to be a lot of nearby building work close by (which didn't show up on the searches) which will create dust and involve the loss of a lot of nearby trees. The house is expensive and maybe not 100% right in many respects but we do like it, although perhaps have some reservations about the area. Afraid we may be making a mistake, in normal circumstances we could just move again in a year or two if we weren't happy but in the current situation, which is increasingly looking like there'll be a significant economic downturn, that might not be so easy. It was advertized as chain free, and we aren't selling until after we move so not a long chain but still feel very uncomfortable dropping out last minute. We are due to exchange in a couple of days time, AIBU walking away?

OP posts:
abbey44 · 25/09/2019 15:55

This happened to me a few weeks ago - my buyers pulled out a few days before exchange and completion, literally as the removal company were on their way to start packing. I lost the full cost of the removals, kennel cost and legal fees. I know it's legal, but morally it's a crap way to treat people.

But if you feel this is your only option, nobody can stop you.

berlinbabylon · 25/09/2019 15:56

Is the building work on a nearby house (which will be over in a few months) or a full blown housing development? If the latter, YANBU. If the former, YABU.

But unreasonable isn't unlawful, as people have said, the system allows it and ultimately your duty is to you and your family, not someone who wanted to sell you their house.

Hugsgalore · 25/09/2019 15:59

Shitty thing to do. We had someone pull out on us after stringing us along for months. We are now up shit creek without a barrel and have no money for xmas

MRex · 25/09/2019 16:10

Zoopla is an algorithm based on sale prices; it relies on high volumes so a few low value sales (e.g. Selling an ex half a house on divorce) or houses needing significant works can mess up the algorithm, as can extensions at the other end of the scale. You're better off relying on the surveyor's valuation and researching the actual properties that sold plus their sale prices. Do you have any more experienced relatives or friends who can look at the specifics with you?

BlankTimes · 25/09/2019 16:34

Is it true that Estate agents in the local area circulate the details among their colleagues of people who pull out last minute, so they can advise their clients to be aware of the risk of selling to someone who has done that previously?

Any Estate Agents here who could confirm this?

If it's not true, it should be.

fussychica · 25/09/2019 16:46

Happened to us and I could have killed the buyers as we had to return home from abroad to remarket as they had wanted us to leave our son's pirates cabin bedroom for their grandchildren but obviously not everyone's cup of tea! Fortunately we sold it to the first people who viewed following our redecorating. I think like you they thought they were paying over the odds and thought they could do better.

However, if you aren't totally happy I can understand that you feel you have to walk away but your timing is shit.

Lifecraft · 25/09/2019 16:52

Shitty thing to do. We had someone pull out on us after stringing us along for months. We are now up shit creek without a barrel and have no money for xmas

You allowed yourself to be strung along for months. And knowing that these things can happen, you were very foolish to get into a position whereby you'd have no money for Xmas is it all went wrong.

Buying and selling houses is fraught with risk. If you can't deal with that, rent.

IAmALazyArse · 25/09/2019 16:55

I can go and change valuation on Zoopla within few min 🤷
I can't believe anyone actually trusts Zoopla valuations..

afrikat · 25/09/2019 17:12

For those asking why we have a bill of £1000s - £700 for in depth survey, £400 for a management pack, £400 on searches then the solicitors fees for both sale and purchase, both of which were basically done and the purchase was quite complicated. Be surprised if we aren't £4000 out of pocket in the end. But it's ok because our buyer 'is sorry for the inconvenience'

fromdownwest · 25/09/2019 17:17

@BlankTimes - ‘it’s true, all my local estate agents know who’s looking etc

When I had two offers on my House, I was told that the one couple offering more pulled out last minute of their other purchase for no reason. It was dropped calmly in a conversation but clearly meant to carry weight in my decision.

SecretMillionaire · 25/09/2019 17:21

The vendors of the property we were buying withdrew the property from sale the week of exchange. It cost us £3,000 in valuation and legal fees and 3 months in wasted time.

The property was put back on the market 4 weeks later and although we were offered first refusal I would never trust someone who could behave in that way. It’s still on the market now and no doubt if a prospective buyer asks why any previous sales did not go through it they will give it a wide berth and it’s no more than they deserve.

zonkin · 25/09/2019 17:26

Hmmm, go through with a massive expensive purchase in order not to be rude or hurt the other party's feelings? Who on earth would advise this?

You're not obliged to buy the property and they're not obliged to sell it to you. If they got a better offer I'm betting they would take that without a thought to you.

LolaSmiles · 25/09/2019 17:40

Hmmm, go through with a massive expensive purchase in order not to be rude or hurt the other party's feelings? Who on earth would advise this?
There's a difference between accepting an offer, being part way through and something coming up or realising there's an oversight (annoying but understandable) and having cold feet a few weeks ago but still hanging on and contemplating pulling out 24/48 hours before it's due to complete and exchange contracts.

People are quite fairly saying that the latter (which is what the OP might be doing) is a bit of a crap move. The OP Is within their rights to do it, but it's still a crap move over reasons like "at some point if there happens to be building works there may be dust".

BlankTimes · 25/09/2019 17:44

@fromdownwest thank-you.
I'm pleased that for some people it's not quite the consequence-free action they believe it to be.

Hugsgalore · 25/09/2019 17:50

@Lifecraft no we didn't "allow" ourselves to be strung along. We accepted an offer in good faith. The "buyer" told us he would pay the deposit and he did. He told us that we could strip out all of the fittings as he'd be remodelling... which we did... in good faith and then he fucked us over. We have been left paying 2 mortgages now for 6 months so yeah sorry we didn't make provision for that. You sound lime someone who'd gladly fuck someone over and feel no remorse. .. like my "buyer". And just so you know we weren't the only people he did it to.

chocolatesaltyballs22 · 25/09/2019 17:52

No one who enters into an agreement to sell a house 'allows themselves to be strung along'. You trust that your buyer is a decent human being who isn't going to fuck you over.

Hugsgalore · 25/09/2019 17:59

Exactly @chocolatesaltyballs22. We trusted him to follow through. He paid his deposit. Had his solicitor contact no e etc etc told us to clear the place out and then pulled out. In hindsight we should have waited for contracts to be signed before getting rid of everything but we were keen for a quick sale as we were paying 2 mortgages

YobaOljazUwaque · 25/09/2019 18:13

The whole point of having an exchange date is to firmly delineate the boundary between when it is OK to pull out and when it is not OK. It isn't a fuzzy boundary, it is exact, and you are currently on the side of "OK to pull out".

Any other member of the chain could equally be having doubts too and has just as much rights to stop as you. When you pay for surveys and searches it is on the understanding that the money you pay is lost if the sale never happens.

If you don't want the house don't buy it. You have no obligation to.

DadCanIHaveAZedgie · 25/09/2019 18:44

This happened to us. "I want a 12k reduction or I'm pulling out" on the day of contracts exchange.

I thought my dad was going to have a stroke, or a heart attack. Genuinely. The level of stress was horrendous.

It's a cunt move OP.

Myimaginarycathasfleas · 25/09/2019 19:15

The whole point of having an exchange date is to firmly delineate the boundary between when it is OK to pull out and when it is not OK. It isn't a fuzzy boundary, it is exact, and you are currently on the side of "OK to pull out".

Reluctantly, I agree with this. This is a strictly business arrangement and in the end you have to decide what works for you.

It's a shitty thing to do, and your name will be filth with the estate agents, but they will do what they can to rebuild the chain with another buyer.

IronicalCallSign · 25/09/2019 19:26

There's a special place in hell for people who dick around in house purchases like this.

You know it's a scumbag move op, you're just asking because you want to feel better about pulling a stunt like this. Well I hope you don't, none of the reasons you've given are unknown until 2 days before moving, if I were the other people in the transaction I'd be seething. Seething, they've arranged their life based on your decision making, incurred costs, now you're even considering pulling out for stupid reasons is a joke.

WhoTellsYourStory · 25/09/2019 20:39

The seller of the house I now live in did things like this. On exchange day she decided she wanted to move the completion date when I’d given notice on my rental. Then she decided she wanted more money. Then she decided she wanted to get the keys to the place she was buying before completion, to do decorating, and if HER sellers wouldn’t co-operate she’d pull out of the chain.

It was literally sickeningly stressful. All of it was legal - just as what you propose to do is legal. But it was absolutely to the bones of it immoral. Do what you gotta do but decide - don’t tell your seller you need to review. You’ve had long enough to make up your mind, and you’ll make her next few days absolutely miserable.

Chapellass · 25/09/2019 21:00

So to all those who say YABU, you would pay £100k over the odds and go forward with the sale? You have more money than sense, Mumsnet is ridiculous.

OP, tell them the reasons and offer reduced price if you wd but for less otherwise just pull out. This is too big to go forward with if in doubt

IAmALazyArse · 25/09/2019 21:02

So to all those who say YABU, you would pay £100k over the odds and go forward with the sale? You have more money than sense, Mumsnet is ridiculous.

What's ridiculous is that that 100k is base on Zoopla... Anyone with a bit of common sense would get a proper valuation done...

Robs20 · 25/09/2019 21:07

I’m wondering if it is my house you are buying as all of these things fit...
Whilst it’s a shit thing to do so late on, ask yourself if you really want to pull out or are just having cold feet. If you really want to pull out then do. Lots of people are atm - our estate agent said they lost 3 sales last week with buyers pulling out.