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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to drop out the day before exchange of contracts?

209 replies

Ginandtonics · 24/09/2019 22:01

House purchase going on for so long we are starting to feel that with prices appearing to fall round here we are paying too much. We just discovered there's very likely to be a lot of nearby building work close by (which didn't show up on the searches) which will create dust and involve the loss of a lot of nearby trees. The house is expensive and maybe not 100% right in many respects but we do like it, although perhaps have some reservations about the area. Afraid we may be making a mistake, in normal circumstances we could just move again in a year or two if we weren't happy but in the current situation, which is increasingly looking like there'll be a significant economic downturn, that might not be so easy. It was advertized as chain free, and we aren't selling until after we move so not a long chain but still feel very uncomfortable dropping out last minute. We are due to exchange in a couple of days time, AIBU walking away?

OP posts:
Keeoe · 24/09/2019 23:39

Oh, I think you well know you're being u. It's a shit stunt to pull on the vendor. To paraphrase a PP, the Scottish system wouldn't allow this and it's a dreadful thing to do. My conscious wouldn't let me sleep at night if I did this.

Nomorepies · 24/09/2019 23:47

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ on the poster's request.

HiJenny35 · 25/09/2019 00:12

Would say exactly the same about a wedding, be sure before you do things, act like a grown up and don't let everyone involved spend out loads of money if you aren't sure. You've had plenty of time to pull out before now why wait till the vendor has to pay full solicitors fees. It's a crappy thing to do. What about if brexit is cancelled and the prices go up and you miss out on this house and can't afford anything else?

AnAC12UCOinanOCG · 25/09/2019 01:22

Shitty behaviour. If you do then I hope someone does the same to you when you find a home you really want.

Soon2BeMumof3 · 25/09/2019 01:53

It's a shitty thing to do OP

StoneofDestiny · 25/09/2019 02:53

Shitbthing to do and why the system in Eng and Wales needs reviewing, but the system allows for it as it does the sellers to pull out. Happened to me and left us in serious mess so wouldn't do it to anybody else.

GabsAlot · 25/09/2019 12:57

Crap thing to do i hope it dpes change aswell stone

oh and you'll losr your money but of co9urse you can prob afford it where others cant

ScrubDubdub · 25/09/2019 13:05

I don’t blame people within the system, like the OP, but the system sucks and although ‘theres Always another property ’ I dare say on occasion it’s ruined someone’s life

DDiva · 25/09/2019 13:15

Its a horrible thing to do you know that.

You need to decide if these are real concerns or just nerves.

Also consider the money you will still lose if you pull out. Is it realistic to get the house you want at a better price ?

WickedLemon · 25/09/2019 13:18

As the vendor, I’d be gutted and want to strangle you.

As the purchaser, I’d pull out at any point up until exchange of contracts, if I had any doubts.

Coffeeandchocolate9 · 25/09/2019 13:21

Of course it's a shitty thing for you to do. You are however within your rights to.

You aren't buying the trees around the area, nor the land the building work is being done on. Building work isn't forever.

gamerchick · 25/09/2019 13:22

Well what kind of building work? All that shit ends.

Personally I think it's shit to do that to people, buying houses is stressful enough. May this happen to you in future so you know what it feels like tbh. But good luck anyway.

Rappersdelight · 25/09/2019 13:23

You can’t buy a house out of politeness.

IAmALazyArse · 25/09/2019 13:27

House purchase going on for so long

At tge end of August you posted tha you are starting to look again so this purchase really can't have been going on for so longHmm If anything it's one of the fastest I've seen...

IAmALazyArse · 25/09/2019 13:27

Ugh.
*The
*That

neonglow · 25/09/2019 13:32

Why leave it until the last moment though? All of those points could have been considered in the run-up. You will be causing the seller chaos by waiting until this point, completely awful and unfair.

tmh88 · 25/09/2019 13:32

OP are you sure this isn’t last minute panic? If you are 100% it isn’t then pull out! I felt like this after years of wanting move out of my house but I didn’t pull out and now I’m in my new I’m so so glad I didn’t! It was literally a case of what the hell am I doing last minute panic and I still had it first couple of weeks being in the new house but that’s long gone now and more of a feeling of panic when I look back to thinking I would of stayed there if I’d of pulled out.

DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 25/09/2019 13:36

Are you sure prices have gone down? or is it just a "feeling"? Have they gone down by enough to make it worth sucking up the money you have already spent and going back to the drawing board and hoping to find a better deal.
In this situation, a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush I think. If this is the house you really want then I wouldn't be phased by slight fluctuations in price.. its where you will be living for a few years at least. Also agree with pps comments about building works and trees. How major is this in real terms? how much would it really affect you.
You sound very cool about the purchase. You are within your rights, but you should have made your mind up earlier I think.

LolaSmiles · 25/09/2019 13:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Wedontneedanotherusername · 25/09/2019 13:42

Ok it is a shitty thing to do ... however if you really are unsure you need to pull out. While we can all appreciate the effect it will have on the vendor and anyone else in the chain- if you get stuck in a house you don’t love for years - that will have an effect on you

norfolkskies · 25/09/2019 13:42

were in the last week before moving. I cant beleive you`d do this NOW!

You`ve had how long to pull out???????

A really crap thing to do.

norfolkskies · 25/09/2019 13:44

Yes Im questioning what were doing? But I also remember why and acknowledge its nerves etc. thats all! Last time when we did our 2nd viewing I remember how much I loved the house, how ds liked it and how we all felt. its a big step thats all.

Mummyoflittledragon · 25/09/2019 13:45

YABU. You should have got your act together when you were expressing wobbles on 2nd September. You should have made a decision within 7 days of wobbles and stuck to that.

loobyloo1234 · 25/09/2019 13:47

Really crappy thing to do OP. You’ll have known before a few days before if you were having 2nd thoughts

If someone had done this to me as a seller, I’d have been up shit creek without a paddle due to the fees

Like you said if you hate it you can always move in a year or two’s time

IamtheDevilsAvocado · 25/09/2019 13:47

Don't let good manners put you off pulling out... If you genuinely believe it is worth less/might be left in neg equity...

They won't like it... Obviously.
Or, ask for a reduction in line with market value.

He bold, try not to be difficult, look after hour own interests